A
female
age
41-50,
*licia
writes:Hi Anne,Last year i was in a very troubled relationship but couldnt get out of it. i guess i figured no one else would want me. while i was in this relationship i met an amazing man and we fell in love. but because i was in a relationship i had to tell the new man that i couldnt go out with him. he was very sad. one day he told me he has started dating. it hurt but he said to me that it was just a date and i should fight for him. since my relationship wasn't going so good i decided to get out of it so i could start a new one with this new man. we had a lot in common and just loved eachother. so when i became single the new guy and me started going out. it was great for a month. then one day he tells me that he slept with someone before we started going out and now this lady is pregnant and he wants to leave me and be with her. my heart was shattered because we made plans for our future. he left me and immediately, moved in with this pregnant girl. she lost the baby but he never came back to me even though i was hoping he would. the other day i heard that they were getting married and that just killed me. it hurt like hell. i felt like i was just a stop over. i really loved this guy and i feel like God has given him happiness even though he did a horrible thing to me and he God hasn't thought about me at all and hasn't given me happiness. I find it so unfair. How can i understand and deal with this situation so i can move on with my life? do guys only want to date me as a stop over in preparation for the right one? i feel so used, ugly useless and am terribly depressed. why didn't this guy want me? please help
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (9 April 2008):
 Alicia:
Life does not always seem fair. At least we look at some things (wants and desires) as not being fair at times. You brought God into this conversation, so I will as well. Let's look at God from the prospective as a being who knows all, is all, and can see all. God knows you better than you know yourself, and He does to everyone.
What if these events happened this way to protect you and your feelings. What if God didn't think it be best for you to be with a player and wants you to wait and look for someone who'll love you totally for you, and not just whip it out and put it inside anyone who will let him.
Look at it, he got a girl pregnant right before getting with you. He may be someone that, when with you, might still take advantage of situations if they become available.
Let's say God really wants more for you and this was not it. Would the pregnancy be part of that exact plan? Sometimes God has plans in our life, which the way we're protected or directed wouldn't be a way we'd personally choose, but the outcome is the desired outcome we're seeking.
In my studying, I've read countless personal advertisements. Most of which are based around. "I just want someone faithful", "I'm not looking to play games." "I'm trying to get out of the drama." "I've been hurt and am looking for someone not to hurt me."
Why do they say that? They listen to guys and take their BS as truth. Then they end up getting hurt and can't figure out WHY?
So when you look at this. God knows you, and knows him, and might be protecting you from the player because of having "True" love coming to you and that's what you deserve.
I hope this helps.
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