A
male
age
30-35,
*lackishwhite302
writes:i have been with my girlfriend for almost two years now, and i plan to marry her soon. everything seems to be going well except for one thing. our sex life. we are both 17 and have been tring everything to make sex work but something always goes wrong. the main problem seems to be that i cant stay hard for anything. no matter how horny i am when its time to go in, i go limp. if my girlfriend is feeling patient that day and i finally do get it in i can feel myself losing it again. this causes my girlfriend to get very upset with me. sex was never a big thing for her, but the only couple times she has been horny i haven't been able to satisfy her. it makes me feel so bad because she pleases me so well. during oral sex she makes me feel so good. even with a hand-job. but i cant even get her off once.( at least not as much as i should be) she gets off 30% of the times we have sex, and thats embarrassing. i know it doesn't mean as much to her as it does me but i want to be able to pleasure her like she deserves it. my biggest fear is her getting it from somebody else...i know she wouldn't, but at the same time i couldn't blame her. as i do seek for help i believe i may have found my main problem. masturbation. i am not over-implying when i say that i masturbate at least 3-4 times a day....sometimes twice as much. i started masturbating at a very young age and now that im older i have come to the conclusion that im addicted to it. i started when i was 11 or even younger, and always done it mutiple times a day. i love my girlfriend with all of my heart and this needs to stop. recently this last year ive been getting in to porn. i seem to watch the oral sex ones the most. all of this really needs to stop now! i want to make my girlfriend never think about anyone else. i want to really show her how much i love her. you have no clue how i feel when i see that disappointed look on her beautiful face; it kills me. i need to know where to start. please.......help me.
View related questions:
hand-job, horny, limp, oral sex, porn, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, littlesuziepie +, writes (15 June 2008):
 Your question helped me so much. I have been with my boyfriend for two years. At first the same stuff would happen. He would go limp or not get it up at all. I have a great sexual apitite. I have always been very good at it. I give awesome oral and that's a sure fact but he seemed un interested in it if you know what I mean. Limp. Well I swear to god he was masterbating every night while I was sleeping I woke up sometimes. And I just got the feeling. Little things her and there made me think that. Once while we were having sex he ran into the bathroom and was in there forever. I thought he was doing it and was pissed so I opened the door after knocking of corse and he was there with the bottle of lube behind his back hiding it...so he is in there pretending to be sick masterbating while I'm hot and waiting for him. I was ready to break up but un beknownest to him I am patient and understand that we all have our secret sexual quirks and so I waited and waited. I don't think he masterbates as much anymore. I get it everynight now before bed. A nice hard one. I would like it more than once a day but if that's all he can give me then its ok becasue I know he loves me. And he does things that make me cum before sex. But as far as your girl goes...she will satisfy her own needs as you are one way or another. If you love her and want to please her and don't want to give her self esteem. Issues then you better stop masterbating all the time. Get a grip and try to let yourself enjoy what you and her can make together. Or just let her go so she can be happy satisfied and in a normal relationship. Its not normal to over do your self and not be able to enjoy a healthy sex life. She can be effected terribly. You have got to release either her or your addiction. If you would rather masterbate then please let her go. You seem to be more suited to be alone if that's the case. Its not fair to your girl. At all!
Think about it. Your keeping that part of yourself from her. You can't enjoy a healthy relationship and neither can she. What's the sense of having one? Be happy. Either way. If its what you want then go for it. If your happy with satisfying your self alone then do it but don't drag her along she should be happy. It would be the best thing you could do for her. Don't have your cake and eat it too. If you know what I mean. Good luck and good luck to your girl. I know how she feels. I'm sad for her. I have cried so many nights and days because of my boyfriends hang up. I'm sure if you haven't seen her cry she is doing it alone. How sad.
A
male
reader, C.Xavier  +, writes (19 May 2008):
Hello,
First of all nice to meet you, I am concerned maybe your problem per se is not physical, maybe you 2 are always in hurry, afraid that someone will knock the door, that does not help at all. If that is not the case, you need to work much more the oral sex with your girl, much more, start slowly by the neck, you can play blindfold, a silk tie will do the trick, keep going slow and when you reach her area simply take your time, you can use wiped cream with a cherry, man user your imagination… you do not have to last 60 minutes, remember the vagina lubrication will disappear, just a bunch of ideas. Not so sure with masturbation, honestly I´ll do it the same amount of times, and I really perform, but man is in your head, just visualize it first, draw it in your head try to feel how she´s melting for you, visualize….
Ciao bambino.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Hello,
First of all nice to meet you, I am concerned maybe your problem per se is not physical, maybe you 2 are always in hurry, afraid that someone will knock the door, that does not help at all. If that is not the case, you need to work much more the oral sex with your girl, much more, start slowly by the neck, you can play blindfold, a silk tie will do the trick, keep going slow and when you reach her area simply take your time, you can use wiped cream with a cherry, man user your imagination… you do not have to last 60 minutes, remember the vagina lubrication will disappear, just a bunch of ideas. Please apologize my bad English, probably you noticed that already
Cheers.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Its definately the masturbating thing, my best friend and her boyfriend had the same thing, with him going limp during sex, they figured out that it was because of him masturbating too much, he stopped and now everything is fine! It could also be that you are thinking about it too much, trying too hard to have pleasure (both of you) and this is stopping you from enjoying it properly. By this I mean sex and her recieving pleasure.
...............................
A
female
reader, les +, writes (19 May 2008):
The poster below is right. Oral sex. No matter how long it takes for her to go (sometimes, it takes me 30 min). GEt a book on it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (19 May 2008):
 You already know the answer. Don't masturbate as much. It's not really difficult, but it takes a bit of willpower. It's far easier to give up, or at least reduce the frequency, than most "addictions" like smoking or alcohol. And it's no good saying "I can't because I'm addicted". That attitude is for wimps. What are you? A man or a mouse?
Of course there's more you can do to please her. You like her doing oral to you - well, do it to her and don't stop until she wants you to stop. Far too many men think a quick lick for a couple of minutes is quite enough. It's not. Not nearly enough! And do it from all sorts of angles and positions. And oral combined with a couple of fingers... do I need to draw a picture?!!!! Consider also the various sextoys and devices - those that are designed to give her additional stimulation and those that are designed to help maintain your erection. They work. Well, some of them do.
It's in your hands. Literally.
...............................
|
