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Is it nature or is it nurture that make us pefer different types?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 May 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 24 May 2008)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

i am not sexually attracted to blue eyed blond women. It seems that there is hardly anything but blue eyed blond women on tv, in movies and i really find them boring. Let a black woman, latino or asian appear on the screen and i pay rapt attention. I am a young white guy and i have never asked a blond out even though at work there are a couple that show interest in me. I really like women of color a lot and i like dark white women as well. Italian girls, greek, indian, all turn me on. i just love dark eyes and dark hair.

i like skin tones from tawny to black. i grew up in a small town in the midwest where almost all the girls are swedes and of course blonds. i can see that the blond women are beautiful and some of them are built pretty good, but i would prefer an ordinary thai or mexican girl over pamela anderson anytime. Sorry borat!!!! guys ask me all the time why i don't like blonds and i really dont know why other that that was all there was where i grew up.

i cant tell you how excited i was to move to boston, mass and saw all of those black girls, heck, there are whole neighborhoods of them and there are plenty of greek girls here too!! WHOOHOOO!!!!!!!!now my brother, who of course grew up where i did, loves blonds and is married to a blond. i admit she is cute, but not my cup of tea. my question is basically what determines what kind of woman i am attracted too.

Is it nature or is it nurture? i dont ever remember deciding that i will be attracted to dark women. so why the difference between me and other american men. it always annoys me when i hear about some blond, blue eyed girl described as all american. why cant that kinky black haired jewish girl with the piercing black eyes be all american too?? ( i mean the hair is kinky, not the girl. i dated a jewish girl whose hair was frizzy and kinky that she could barely comb it and i thought it was neat and she thought i was strange. her dad broke us up on the account of religion.

he told me, he could tolerate up to and including a catholic, but atheists were out out out and i was out of there. i came back the next day and told him i decided that i was going to be a unitarian and he closed the door in my face. i still like that girl. she was crazy and i like crazy.} my family is all wigged out that i might come home married to a zulu or something like that. Ummmmmm, anybody know a nice zulu girl in boston??????

View related questions: at work, atheist

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A male reader, oldfool Australia +, writes (24 May 2008):

oldfool agony auntI would suggest it's your eyes that give you away. I believe it's been shown that the pupils dilate when you see someone you like, and people unconsciously pick that up.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008):

i am the original poster; i forgot to tell you about the experiment done by one of my professors who is aware of my likes and dislikes in women. he wired me up and showed me photos of women to measure my response. he did this one line up with four naked blond women and one clothed black woman. i showed little response to the white blonds and high response to the black girl. he took a couple of other guys and did the same thing and they showed high response to the naked blonds and nothing with the clothed black girl. then he showed all five of them nude and got the same high response when the black girl was nude. i told him i wuz robbed. i especially wanted to see that black girl nude and didnt get to.!!!!!!!i have always shown a preference for blacks and other dark women every since i was a little kid. i dont ever remember being attracted to light colored women at all. but i do like light skin tones with black or dark brown hair. there is this white south african girl in my 4th year painting class that is very pale, almost ghostly white and she has black hair and eyes and she is awesome. i would date her anytime but she is engaged to a south african policeman that is twice my size. i am afraid if i messed around with her he would make a special trip from south africa to straighten me out. i saw his pic when we had to do a formal portrait of a loved one. there are a lot of foreign students here from south america, africa and asia here. another thing i notice....dark skinned women seem to be attracted to me for some reason...the professor said it is because they see a genuine interest in them from me even though i am not doing anything on purpose to try to attract them. can they see that??!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008):

I am really happy to have read your ad as a non white girl. I live in the UK where most guys pretty much DO prefer white chicks....in fact even most non white guys I know would never date a non white girl....and I am a professional model and see the racism even more full on than most people as white model generally gets the jobs over the non white....I have even been to many agencies who have turned me down saying that they could not sign me because I was non white and non whites girls just arent as appealing or there is no market for us.....it is near enough impossible to see a non white model on the cover of a magazine here unless of course she is famous like Halle Berry, Beyonce etc...

And of course I get fed up of hearing guys who talk about their ideal women being white, blonde etc....so I have often wondered - well surely there MUST be SOMEONE out there that actually PREFERS / LIKES exotic looking over the stereotype white / blonde!

So you have totally made my day as it is nice to know there are guys like you out there who do prefer and appriecate beauty in us exotic girls.......many thanks :) x

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A female reader, Susan Strict United Kingdom +, writes (19 May 2008):

Susan Strict agony aunt"i mean the hair is kinky, not the girl."

And what's wrong with kinky girls??? :D

Variety - the spice of life. An old expression, but absolutely true.

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A female reader, leyan New Zealand +, writes (19 May 2008):

leyan agony auntWe have a saying in Arabic, when translated means, if we all like the same item at a shop, the shops will be overstocked on every item but one, so it's good that we all like different looks, otherwise, there will be lots of dissappointed men and women : )

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A male reader, oldfool Australia +, writes (19 May 2008):

oldfool agony auntOne word: Enjoy!

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A female reader, tsurugi-ijin United Kingdom +, writes (19 May 2008):

tsurugi-ijin agony auntI don't think its a choice you make, just happens.

The only reason i can think that you would like darker girls rather than a blond hair, blue eyed is just that you've had that your whole life and look for something differnt.

Hope you find a great girl,

All the Best, Jin

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