A
female
age
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*anetmf
writes: My husband left me in October.. We are not divorced yet. He has had a girlfriend soon after or before he left. We just sold our home of 8 years. I am left to pack and find a place to live. I have till June 11 th to get out. I am in the process of trying to find a place to rent for me and my two grown daughters. My stress level is so high and I feel I am going into a depression. It frustrates me that I go to work, then come home to pack or find a place to live. While he enjoys life and time with his girlfriend. How am I going to find the strenght to go through this? Any advice would be so much apprecitated.
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female
reader, bfly36 +, writes (19 May 2008):
search a group called divorce care on i think its www.divorcecare.com. They have a good support group for people going thru this.
A
female
reader, rorowes +, writes (19 May 2008):
I went through a similar situation in my early 20's. I felt like my life was just for my kids, they were 3mos. and 2yrs. at the time. Your girls are grown and could be of great help to you. All of you can get out individually and search for a house or Apt.. Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you stressed out, and get that divorce done an over with asap. He still has to pay allimony, so get what you deserve and find someone who will be good for you at this stage in your life, even if it's just frienship. If you're in Cali, I can offer you some help. Keep your head up. We always win in the end.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (19 May 2008):
Focus on God and have faith in Him.
Take each day as it comes.
Do not worry too much .
For every dark clouds , there is a silver lining.
There is a purpose in everything.
God will show you the larger picture when the time comes.
Keep praying to Him and your answer will come soon.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 May 2008):
I don't know where you are in the US but with the housing market so lousy, It's a great time to find a place to rent. Many home sellers are renting their properties because they can't sell them. Stay focused on find that new place, look at it as an adventure. Don't worry about the packing until you've found your new palace.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): YOU WILL!!!! Think positive and try and put these negative thoughts out of your head. Use your energy to getting a place. Once you have the keys, you are set. The first time you go in your own place and close the front door behind you, ah bliss. I have been there, with a small son, on our own, it was fan bloody tastic!!!!!!! Honest, i cannot describe it, but right now you are going through raw pain. Stop thinking about your ex with his gf, they are history, leave them there. Just do this for me, go out there get a place and do it up as your HOME. Grow and grow from this day forward and please let me know how you got on. But dont look back, get stressed or wallow in misery. You dont deserve that and you will look back on this time and realise that he has done you a massive favour. Just let him go fook him, you are a lovely and beautiful person. Thrive on it.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (19 May 2008):
Try to channel the stress. Stress doesn't have to be bad. There is such a thing as "positive stress" - when you are concentrating all your efforts on something you really want.
Try to avoid thinking about him for the moment. Put everything you have in you into a new start for you and your daughters. Get as much support from them as you can. Make them a part of it, a part of getting your new home the way the three of you want it without having to worry about what a man wants it to be.
I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you have an opportunity to do something different and to be something different. Most of us are stuck in a rut by the time we reach our forties. You don't have to be. You have a chance to explore new areas and new people, and even to do new things that you would never have considered. There's no one to tell you that you can't or that it's "inappropriate". Your daughters are old enough to look after themselves.
Grasp your life with both hands and GO FOR IT.
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