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Tell me... Am I too young to be a mum?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 May 2006) 18 Answers - (Newest, 26 September 2007)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi. I need some advise. I am 22 years old, 23 this year and have been with my for a long time. I have always wanted to be a mother, but always wanted it to be later on ie 28years old ish! Recently I have beenthinking of nothing else, I want to be a mam now. Am I too young? Both My partner and I have good jobs and we both own property. Am I too young!?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007):

I am 22 years old and carnt stop thinking of babies. my boyfriends neice is nearly one and she makes me want one so bad she is great. I know i can be a great mum its just the money side that scares me. as soon as i feel i can financial i will start trying.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007):

I'm probably a bit late now and you are probably a mum.........however.........

I think that it doest matter what anybody else says as we always seek others opinions and advise but in the end you will make your own decision and the right one. Nobody will be able to make up your mind for you.

Like you i am young, 23 and im going to be 24 soon, and it seems like i am waiting until i am old enough to have a family........this is probably because of the way i have been brought up and the environment i have lived in and the values i have been taught as a child. I do feel im too young to have a baby, but on other hand im also old enough to know and understand that when i do have a baby when im 27/28 i will probably wish i had done it a bit younger. Lets face it we always look at other people and try and base our own lives on what should be right or wrong. But there is no right and wrong.

At the end of the day i believe in this life 'you make your own luck'. You can have anything you want if you put your mind to it. The fact that you feel you had to ask a group of poeple on the net says it all. Maybe you are not old enough, and it may be a year or two until you feel like you no longer have to go online and ask strangers for their opinions..........or maybe im wrong and reading too much into it.

Its a psychological mess....

But like i said at the beginning, what you are taught at a young age makes a difference. What ever decision you make you have to live with it and take responsabiity for your actions, and you will. Just say, im going to be a great mum, and you will.

Good luck with your journey, whether it be being a mum now and being able to work part time or not at all (you lucky thing) and then having time for your career later and being able to play sport with your kids when they are older, or whether it be putting your career first, having a lovely home and then having kids and not having to worry about money commitments so much.

Either way somebody's going to judge you unfortunately......begs the question do you really want to bring a child into this world.........better not get into that 1 though!

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A female reader, saddie Canada +, writes (10 April 2007):

Hello 23 year old... I was 24 when i had my first child. I was not too young. I always wanted to be a mom, and have never regretted motherhood, but I was always afraid because I knew that becoming a parent would be forever. That is what the scary part is... Once you become a parent you will always be a parent. You have to be ready to fully commit to this knew way of life .. it is a full time commitment, and you have to be very serious about this because being a parent is the most important job you will ever take on.You have a moral duty to do the best job possible.. Your little baby will and should become the most important person in your life. If you have love and compassion in your heart you will be a wonderful mother. Have your baby and raise it well. Saddie

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2007):

Im asking myself that same question!! Im 22, 23 this year and two months pregnant. I want to be a mum, im in a steady relationship and have been for over two years. My family aren't happy and they;re making me question myself. Did you have doubts about keeping it?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2007):

i dont think thats to young at all. i intend to have children when im in my early 20's aswel. your in you prime, be a mama!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007):

Hi, there, if yr ready to have kids then i say go for it, i was 18 when i had my 1st everything went great and i have 4 kids now and i still have a life, and also if u and yr partner r working u will also get child benifit, working tax credits and child tax credits so dont worry about money as much as you are, in the 1st months babys dont really need to much so u can save loads i say go for it......

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A female reader, donna83 +, writes (11 August 2006):

i am 22 and 5 months pregnant although i cant wait i do feel too young when all my mates are going out on the lash and having a laugh im too shattered and want my bed

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2006):

i have just turned 21 and i feel the same i just want a child. my partner is 27 with a good job. i just want to be a mum. am i to young? will i feel ready is that the most important thing?

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (13 May 2006):

willywombat agony auntNo, you are ready when you feel ready, chronological age (when you are in your twenties + ) shouldn't/doesn't come into it.

x

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (12 May 2006):

DrPsych agony auntBiologically you are at an ideal age to have a baby as your fertility and health are optimum at 23. However, only you know if you are psychologically ready for a baby which is THE major life event of the century. You should try to borrow friends or relatives babies to get an idea of the hard work involved.

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A female reader, bonym United Kingdom +, writes (12 May 2006):

bonym agony auntMy dear if you have a decent income and you and your boyfriend are happy, what is the problem. 23 is a respectable age, most people have their kids at such tender ages but you are the same age as me and I always said I wanted my first child in my early twenties! My friend, stop worrying, you are not too young my mum had me when she was 38 and I sometimes wish she had me younger because I always think she may not be around when I am in my forties etc. When your kid is 20, you will only be 43, a perfect age! So stop worrying, do what makes you happy. xXx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2006):

I had my first child at 23 years old. And I had my third child at 36. In my case, there was a remarkable difference in my mothering abilities and techniques at 36 as opposed to 23. I was more settled, more mature, more patient and my husband and I were much more financially settled. I am not suggesting you wait until you are in your 30's...just make sure that at 23, you are emotionally mature to handle the demands of parenthood. While it's an amazing life-altering experience, it's a HUGE responsibility that requires the patience of a saint, and the committment to giving unconditional love without expecting much in return. Make sure your bf is ready to parent a child with you..this has to be his decision, as well. I can assure you. you will need his support, love and help when that baby keeps you up walking the floor at night due to teething, tummy aches, and a whole host of other little quirky reasons, babies have to endure. You have to have strength, incredible patience and understanding.

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A female reader, Scrummy bum! +, writes (12 May 2006):

Scrummy bum! agony auntim 17,18 in september. my son was 1 on the 18th april, my second son is due on 16th june and ive been married for 2months and couldnt be any more happier. being a parent is the best thing. some of you may think im to young, and other are most likely to aslong as your happy. well i am so dont judge me, it really doesnt matter about your age aslong as it what you really want and your happy then go for it. its an amazing thing!! good luck. let me know what you do please. xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2006):

If you feel ready i don't think that you are to young. some people are ready earlyer then others. I am 23 and have three children. I had my first at 19 and at 21 I had twins. i love having my kids! It is a lot of work, but well worth it! Just make sure you have thought it through before jumping in to having kids.

Good luck in whatever you decide!

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A female reader, Aunt Audrey United Kingdom +, writes (12 May 2006):

Aunt Audrey agony auntI don't think you're too young, but you and your partner are the ones who have to decide if you are both ready for the commitment and life changes that having a child entails. Have you and your partner done everything you wanted to do before having children?

If you both feel ready to be parents go for it, I had my first child at 24 and I was ready to be a mother. Where age is concerned it's the idividual that must decide when the time is right.

Good luck!

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A female reader, shania United Kingdom +, writes (12 May 2006):

shania agony auntIts a matter of choice but i dont think you are too young to have a baby.When you think that there is girls as young as 16 having them,then starting a family at 23 yrs of age is probably considered average.One thing to remember though...if you want a baby,its not for the purpose of cementing a relationship if there is any cracks there,if you can and your partner can give your child the love and security that it needs then yes...why not start a family...but you have to be 100% certain in thats what you want.

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A female reader, Anja +, writes (12 May 2006):

Anja agony auntHow long have you been with your boyfriend for? Sounds like you have a solid relationship and things are going well. Think very carefully about this because having a child is not something to take lightly, it is a lifetime decision, a decision that will greatly affect your lifestyle. Discuss it with your boyfriend and see how he feels. About the age...you are not necessarily too 'young', you may be someone who has a very mature outlook and approach to life. Do you have any ambitions/dreams that you wish to fufill later, or now? Having a baby could stop you from achieving any goals you may want. But it is a great blessing also to be raising a child in the world and to look after it until it's old enough to look after itself. It is natural for you to be feeling this way, whatever age you are!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2006):

Only you can decide this, If you think that you are ready,than noone can stop you- but think about this, its another life you are going to give. Are you sure that you have the patience for all of this. I dont want to sound harsh but babies are alot of tireing work and behind those sweet angelic faces are the same tantrum throwing faces lol.take some time to think about it before you make a final decision-once its happened there is no turning back-To me personally I dont think you are too young, think about all the 13/14 yr olds having children whoa now those people are way way WAY too young for children-you seem like a preson who will bring up a good child-but you gotta use your own instinct on this one

good luck

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