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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I was brought up in Australia and many years ago when I was a young fella, I had a quite a large and great social group of friends. The ages of these people was anywhere from 15/16 to 22/23, and probably as many girls as guys. Now there were of course many couples within in this group of friends, a guy who was 21 had a girlfriend who was 16 was nothing out of the ordinary, I remember one of the younger guys who was 16 had a girlfriend who was 20. All these couples were having sex of course, it was totally normal. I’ve been participating on this site for quite a while now and there is something that puzzles me a bit. Every now and then some young girl will ask something like “I’m 16 and I’m dating a guy who is 21, is this ok?” or “I’m 17 and my boyfriend is 18, should we wait to have sex?” I’ve always found these odd questions, I’ve never really understood why they bothered asking but then I would read the common answers to these questions, being something like “yes it’s ok to date, but no kissing or sex, because that’s rape and everyone will go to jail”.Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that a 35 year old preying on a 16 year girl is ok, no not at all. I perfectly understand that laws exist to protect minors but at the same time I don’t think a 45 year old preying on an 18 year old girl is any better, it’s just as disgusting, but apparently legal. But in that circle of friends of mine, sex within that age group 15/16 up to 22/23 seemed perfectly OK. Not once would anyone stop and think that this is illegal, or rape, or abuse or whatever. Even now when I think back on those years, I don’t think or feel that anything sinister was going.Reading DC allot has gotten me thinking. I see that the rules are quite strict, a 17 and an 18 year old should not be intimate with each other, I guess? So enlighten me, what’s the deal? Was it all wrong what all my friends way back then were doing? Or is it cultural? Could it be that such behavior is totally unacceptable in the American society and or other countries? Or is it something else?Would love to hear your thoughts.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionKC, well from what you’re telling us it seems that the UK economy is really flourishing. I live across the channel from you here in Belgium and have been here for almost 10 years. I can tell you that that is undoubtedly not the case over here. Young people here certainly don’t live the life which you’ve described and years ago in Aus the situation was much the same as here. From what friends and family in Australia have told me, the Australian economy is booming right now, so I’m sure that Australia’s youth of today are enjoying a prosperous life similar to what you’ve described.
Well Flynn, I guess you’re suggesting that the police would have me arrested for a figure of speech. At your age you should know that the words in a figure of speech are not literal.
So from what I understand you think it’s perfectly and morally ok for a 18 yo girl to have sex with whomever as long as she consents. Yes according to the law this is ok, and it should be because the line has to be drawn somewhere.
Let’s say that one day some colleague or friend of yours emails you a link to a good porn clip on the net. You open this link and see this balding middle aged guy hunched over a very young girl with his big fat penis in her arse, pumping away saying “oh yeah you little slut, you want more? you want more you little bitch? I’m gonna give it to ya”, he pulls her hair a little and slaps her a bit. Sounds great doesn’t it? After close inspection you see that this little girl, looking quite uncomfortable with this hairy old guy hunched over her, happens to be your daughter or little sister who just turned 18.
The porn producers pay her a 300 bucks for this first scene, suggesting that it will be more or less an erotic glamour shot and promise her at least 3 grand for the following shoots. This daughter or little sister of yours has consented, after all she’s 18, and even though this first shoot has turned out to be a bit more than just erotic glamour, she doesn’t dare half way through shoot to say “no stop!” to the producer and his film crew of 7 or 8 on the set. And of course the middle aged guy with his penis deep inside your daughter has still got to finish. Nothing illegal going on here, everybody is 18 or older.
Tell me Flynn, would you be so calm and cool about it? Would you really think, “Hey my daughter is 18, she’s a grown woman, she’s old enough to make her own decisions and she can look after herself, if she wants to do porn, I’m cool with that because she’s a grown adult, I respect her wishes and besides no one’s breaking the law”?
But you know what Flynn, we can go on and on all day about this. I think that Cindy has a valid and correct point, I do very much agree with her in this:
“this is one of those instances where we'll have to agree to disagree, because the perception of the issue is very much influenced by personal experiences.”
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2011): "The day that I open my front door to my 18 year old daughter and her 40 something old boyfriend, then I’ll get my 12 gauge out from behind the door and rest the tip of the barrel neatly under his nose and he’ll smell the gun powder still fresh from my last hunting trip (as a matter of speaking)."
Of course you could then be charge with assault and rightfully so.
Once a person reaches the lawful age of consent, moral and ethical worries are all but irrelevant. If this teenager in question is still living in your household the only power you have is to refuse entry to her partner, whatever his age. But if they choose to carry on their relationship outside of that, you emotional feelings on the subject mean nothing.
Sorry, mate, that's just the way it is. Whether that age of consent happens to be 14, 15, or even 21.
Having grown up in Australia, I feel 16 is the right age. I mean let's face it, if you cannot decide if you want to have sex by that age then just give up because life get much harder than that.
Flynn 24
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCindy, yes, at 18 they’re legally adults.
But mentally, they are very far from.
I am not disputing the laws concerning sex and under aged persons, as in my original post, I already said that the laws are there to protect minors. I’m not oblivious to this. I have never at any point stated that I dislike or disagree with these laws.
If you drive your car at 100kmh where the speed limit is 90, the chances of you being noticed or caught by the police are quite small. And if you do get caught, the fine will be relatively small also.
You drive 180kmh where the speed limit is 90, the chances of you being noticed and caught is very high. The fine will be monstrous and I’m sure that in some countries, this would land you a night in a cell.
In both cases the law is being broken, clearly and indisputably. You agree don’t you? But you must also agree that the context in both cases is not the same.
This is just my point. If a 16 or 17 year old has sex with a 20 year old, this is clearly and indisputably ILLEGAL according to the law. Which is normal because the line must be drawn somewhere, right? The fact that there is relatively little or no metal difference between these 2 young people is of no relevance to the law on paper, which is also normal, because written laws must only stipulate the theoretical side of reality. However, I’m sure that in the court room that the peoples ages will be looked at and taken into account, and not just the black and white fact that one is under-aged and the other not.
Cindy I have daughters of my own. They are not at that age yet but the day my 17 year old daughter brings home her 21 year old boyfriend, I’m not going to be happy. My 12 gauge will be resting neatly behind the front door (as a matter of speaking). But the only reason I’ll be pissed is because she dares to actually bring home a boyfriend, his 21 years will not be the issue. The day that I open my front door to my 18 year old daughter and her 40 something old boyfriend, then I’ll get my 12 gauge out from behind the door and rest the tip of the barrel neatly under his nose and he’ll smell the gun powder still fresh from my last hunting trip (as a matter of speaking).
Reading allot on DC I’ve had the impression that the attitiudes towards large age differences are rather black and white, that they are perfectly fine, that there is really no problem AS LONG as no one is under 18, full stop.
With my original post I was in one way or another looking for a clarification for this, to be honest I think that KC already gave one,
“Well keep in mind, here on DC we have to do the legal bit because if not, the owner of the site could get into a lot of trouble if the parents ever found out that people were encouraging their underage teenage child to have sex. So often a lot of the answers include the legalities just to keep our backs covered!”
Yes Cindy, if someone does not like the law.... he can vote better at next elections and have it changed , or move to another country. I am not one of these people.
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reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 July 2011):
 OP, at 18 they are legally adults.
They can vote, sign a contract, rent an apartment, own a business in their name, get married and go under trial as adults. Whether you like or not what they do , you don't have a say.
At 17, you do, because you are not only morally but also financially and legally responsible for any screw up they may cause or get into. From this point of view , there is a big difference between 17 and 18 .
Plus, you seem not to grasp the concept of "age of consent ". Where the age of consent is 18 like in many of the USA- you are simply NOT supposed to have sex with someone under that age. Same as you are not supposed to have sex with a girl under 16 in UK. If you do, you know that a disgruntled parent can send you to jail, or at least written in the sex offenders registry. If someone does not like the law.... he can vote better at next elections and have it changed , or move to another country.
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reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 July 2011):
 when my newly 18 yr old daughter came home with her new boyfriend he was 21... I was hesitant... she had JUST turned 18... we relented... by the time we found out that he was nearly 22 they were involved... there were issues... he was old enough to drink and purchase alcohol she is not.
had we known he was almost 22 we might not have encouraged them. Permitted? we had no choice at 18 she's LEGAL.
Maybe that's the part that's confusing you.... in the united states it's the LEGAL issues of 17 dating ADULT... a small thing called statutory rape... happens here A LOT...
IF my 17 yr old child (boy or girl) came home and said "mom meet my newest love they are 22" I would say
'hello newest love, you are welcome to visit with underage child in our home WHEN we are home' and if those restrictions are acceptable then when child turns 18 we no longer have any say. Truth be told by then the differences between 18 and 23 might be more noticeable.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's right, i was clearly never a 16/17/18/19 year old girl...
So you would not not blow a fit if your 18 yr old brought home a 25 year old.
Yet you have a big problem with 17-22.
? ?
Lets say your daughter was now 17 instead of 18, would you then blow a fit??
Putting the legal facts to one side, I'm just wondering if you see some huge difference between a 17 and an 18 year old. Like the day they turn 18, they're all completely grown up and mature, and don't behave stupid anymore.
Like many here, you seem to differentiate 17 and 18 year olds as if there is a world of difference between them.
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 July 2011):
"Guys using status items to lure teenage girls in? hmmm I’m not sure about this one either KC. Guys who finally earn enough money to acquire these ‘status’ items are often much older and are hardly desirable to teenage girls."
REALLY? you clearly were never a 16/17/18/19 year old girl...
oh hell yes a man with a house and a car and a job who goes out and has an adult life.... woo-hoo that's exactly what some girls in that age bracket want.
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 July 2011):
I would NOT be happy if my 18 yr old was dating a 55 year old. I admit that.
I would not blow a fit if my 18 yr old brought home a 25 year old although I can't for the life of me imagine why a grown man who is mature and responsible would want an 18 yr old..
when my now boyfriend turned 18 I was 31 and you better believe that if a 31 year old man was interested in my 18 yr old daughter knowing her maturity level I'd be concerned.
Now knowing that I THOUGHT I was all grown up at 18 and would have thought nothing of a 31 yr old wanting me, I can understand why folks let it go but to be honest, to ME personally, any ADULT who is interested in a very young 'adult' gets my guard up.
there is a huge difference between 18 and 31 and 38 and 51.
and a 55 yr old person who wants a typical 18 yr old is not pretty normal.
Goodness I get called cougar constantly... my BF age has NOTHING to do with why I am with him... after about 25/30 age does not really matter....
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reader, CindyCares +, writes (5 July 2011):
I think this is one of those instances where we 'll have to agree to disagree , because the perception of the issue is very much influenced by personal experiences.
I have a 21 y.o. son, he is a student and still lives with me. I would not even say he is exceptionally mature or smooth. And yet, he is a man, not a boy- he's no match for a 15 or 16 y.o. girl, and he could wrap the poor kid around his finger, no matter how sexually "loose" she is. Luckily, he has got nothing to do with that age bracket, because he can't relate to it anymore.
As for very young bodies being sexually attractive, well, sure, they are.. But not necessarily to the 21 to 25 segment. Many of these guys find teens too "raw " and unsophisticated, they prefer a slightly more mature and sensual femininity, and obviously they are not old enough to miss their youth and want to relive it by proxy as it would be for a guy in his 40s.
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reader, k_c100 +, writes (5 July 2011):
 Ok, maybe this is a cultural thing again here - not sure what it is like in Australia, but here in the UK, I would say a significant number of males and females aged 21+ all work, have cars, live in their own rented accomodation (fair enough not buying a place as mortgages are impossible at the moment, but renting is easy and affordable)....it is actually quite rare to find people over that age who dont to be honest.
I am 24, all my friends are around the same age and some have been working from the age of 18+ full time, earning reasonable money, with their own cars, and most have moved out of the family home and rent their own places, and 3 of my friends have all bought their own houses, one got her house at 21 and the others were 22 and 23 respectively. The rest of us all went to uni, so got jobs aged 21. We all started out on £20,000 per year+ which is good money to start out on, we all rented our own places, have our own cars and have a lot of nice things.
And my friends and I are not the exception - nearly everyone from my year at school (and the people I know in the years above and below) all follow the same pattern. We didnt go to a private school either - just a typical state school. So here in the UK, it is very plausible that a 21/22/23 year old man has his own (nice) rented accomodation, own car, good job etc. Hence why to me here in the UK, in the upper end of your age bracket (22/23) it would be very odd to me if he was working that he would want to be with a teenager, there are not many men left aged 22/23 who are still at University or studying anymore, they would all be working so that would be where my concerns would start - what would a working man want with a school child?
I dont neccessarily think the guys aged 21+ deliberately lure girls in with their status items, but they are well aware that teenage girls think dating an older guy is cool. I remember when I had my 21 year old boyfriend (even though he was still studying), silly as I feel looking back now, part of the attraction was that he had more money than my friend's boyfriends, he was nearly qualified to be a lawyer, he had a better car than my friends boyfriends etc... It is pretty awful really that I felt that way but that is how teenage girls work - they want to be the most mature and to attract an older guy is like the ultimate status symbol!
I'm not saying teenagers would purposefully try and get with an older man - most would not think they could attract an older man. But if an older man showed an interest, she would jump at that chance!
Another problem, well here in the UK anyway, is that the maturity of men in their 20's (even late 20's) is at an all time low. There are plenty of men that I know even in their 40's, who like to go out drinking, have never married or had kids, want to go to music festivals, still rent rather than buy property, spend their time with friends at weekends partying.....they have the same lifestyle as they did when they were teenagers, except with a bit more money! So teenage girls see these older guys out in clubs or bars, and they share the same interests as they do but they have lots of cash - its like the ultimate teenage girls dream!
So that is where you have to be careful - students dating other students, within a reasonable age gap is not a big deal. But when an older man, who acts a lot younger (as most men do these days, heck my boyfriend is 28 and still plays computer games online with his friends and spends his time on MSN!) but who has items that are appealing to teen girls, and who has a bit of cash (bear in mind that any annual salary, even if it is low in adult terms, is amazing to teenagers because they have never had that kind of money before) can, whether intentional or not, end up with a teenage girl and that has to be wrong, no man above 21 should want to be with a 15 year old girl who is still at school.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionKC, I see what you’re getting at, about the adult male with the teenager. Thing is, a guy who has his own house, car and job is going to be way out of that 15/16-22/23 age bracket. You have to be realistic about this, what guy (or girl) under the age of 25 earns serious enough money to buy a decent car, purchase real estate, furniture, pay bills and finance all the other responsibilities in life???? Of course there will be exceptions but they are going to be few and far between. When my mates were around that age (under 25), some had pretty expensive cars, but these guys lived at home or in shared housing. One guy did live in his own apartment, rented, it was an absolute dump of a place!
Guys using status items to lure teenage girls in? hmmm I’m not sure about this one either KC. Guys who finally earn enough money to acquire these ‘status’ items are often much older and are hardly desirable to teenage girls. Girls in the above mentioned age bracket look for guys who are interested in the same stuff as them, partying, drinking, living the good life without responsibilities, music festivals, making lots of noise, and all that other stuff that young people do. Older guys with responsibilities and status items are just too boring and conservative for young girls.
I myself am 32, and could say that I have these ‘status’ items which you speak of, and not once has a young girl ever shown any interest in me. I simply can’t offer the lifestyle that a girl under 23 wants. Hell, our girl who does the ironing, she’s off to Crete this month with her girlfriends for a party/sex/sun/beach holiday! She’s 25 and there’s no way in the world that I could lure her in with my ‘status’ items.
The stages in life are just too far apart.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo_Very_Confused,
16-18 is ok,
17-18 is also ok,
however 17-22 is not ok.
So what about teen school girl yesterday 17 but today turned 18 with guy who's lets say... 55?
Is this ok according to you?? Pretty normal would you say?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011): I would like to chime in here and express the view point that being attracted to a teenager is not disgusting or unnatural. In fact every fiber of the male body is designed to be attracted to a mate who provides the best possible opportunity for a successful childbirth.And teenagers, whether you like it or not, are far more fertile than most grown adults.The real test of what type of person you are is how you choose to act or not act on these perfectly natural desires.That said, the age of consent laws were passed and exist for damned good reason. In today's world people are living so much longer that having kids when you are young because you don't exactly have all that much time to wait is no longer a societal neccesity.I have grown up in a fairly tolerant society. So long as the people in question were both 16 or over, then it's no one else business here, unless of course its a matter of equality. If it's a boss and employee or teacher and student, then yes regardless of age those relationships are rightfully illegal.But if a 16 year old or older wants to have sex, and has maturely made that decision themselves, with someone the same age or older, and no one has legal or ethical power over the other, then screw what anyone else thinks. If the men in black cloaks in the courts say it's cool, then the rest of society can go fuck themselves.Flynn 24
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2011): When i was 15 i had a boyfriend that was 19 and we were great together, in fact we were together for 3 years. I never thought there was something creepy about it, my first time was with him and i regret nothing. I often think of him as the best relationship i ever had. He never made me do anything and i think we had the same level of maturity back then. We liked the same stuff and we had a lot to talk about. But then again he wasn't like people say: a man.. to me he was just a guy, just like me. He lived with his parents and went to school. He was exactly like me. And like k_c100 said yes he went out drinking a bit more than i could but that never affected our relationship. His parents met me and liked me and my mother liked him too. Everyone knew we were together and noone ever thought it was wrong or disgusting. To be fair well he wasn't a really bright student and he was still in high school when we met so that made the difference smaller. I'm 22 now and in college and he's 26 and from time to time we still talk, (we actually ended up being friends) and it stills feels good to be around him. So i don't really see a problem in 15/16 year olds dating 18-19 year old guys.As long as they have common interests and all that stuff. Don't get me wrong i don't think it's ok for 30 year old guys to date 16 year old girls. That's creepy. Im just saying that in some cases can work .. if the age difference is not so big. obviously i'm talking based on my experience but i respect every opinion.
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 July 2011):
no problem with 16-18
no problem with 17-18
big problem with 17-22 because here where I live that's ILLEGAL.
in the united states age of consent is trumped by adult contact (age 18 or older) with Minor contact (under age 18 even with age of consent)
of course a 17 yr old girl and an 18 yr old boy are probably not going to be an issue
Most folks who have read my stuff know I'm a supporter of age gap relationships in most cases... TEENS withstanding. there are just too many changes between 16 and 20 to get involved in an age gap relationship in most cases.
of course when I was 20 my now boyfriend was 7.....
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reader, k_c100 +, writes (4 July 2011):
Well OP it seems I may be the only one sort of on your side here, I did say you will get lots of varied responses! Thinking back to my 21 year old boyfriend when I was 16 - it definitely was not ewww as one poster said or creepy, it was very normal and there was no difference between us really.
He was at uni, I was doing A levels, I didnt feel any less mature than him (in fact I was probably more mature to be honest!), we waited months to have sex so it wasnt about that either. We just really got on well, enjoyed similar things and had a good time together. Yes he may have gone out drinking slightly more frequently than I did, but he still lived with his parents, liked the same things as me (going to the cinema, going out for food, spending time with friends etc) - there were no real differences!
As I said in my initial post, the main problem is when you have an adult male who has his own house, car, job etc dating a school child. If a girl is doing her A levels, dating an older guy (in his early 20's) and he is still at Uni, then there is no real difference in life stages. But if he is working and has all the 'status' items like his own place, car etc then that is often used to lure younger girls and that is wrong. But if they are both students, both living with parents, and are both over the age of consent then I dont see the issue.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell Marieclaire no I actually don’t see what you mean. To be honest I can’t tell the difference any more between a 16 and 20 year old or an 18 and 23 year old. I can barely see the physical age difference and even less the mental age difference. They are all the same to me. We have a young girl who comes along once a week to do the ironing, very pretty, blonde and cute. Anyway from all the chit-chat and stuff she tells us, my wife and I thought that she was 18, just out of high school, 19 at the most. It turns out that she’s 25!!! It’s not a bad thing, she’s a lovely girl and it’s great having her around but it just shows how people of my age can’t differentiate those young people any more.When I think of myself at 21, my god I was just sooo young and naïve, and grown? Adult? Man? Life experience? Forget it!!! Not even a bit!!! Just like everyone else at that age I was just a kid!My cousin and her (girl)friend came and stayed with us last week, she's only 17. Chatting with them only reminded me how far away I am from that age group, but also reminded me how I was myself at that age. Don’t get me wrong, it was great seeing them but I virtually had nothing in common to talk about. And yes they both had boyfriends in their early 20s, didn’t at all seem odd to me or my wife.
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reader, CindyCares +, writes (4 July 2011):
Laws are laws, you can't pick and choose to respect those you like and break those you don't. In Australia the age of consent is 16 mostly everywhere, but in a couple of states or territories is 17. So if the couples you referred to formed in , say, Tasmania, yes it was wrong and some adult should have put a stop to it.
In USA and other countries the age of consent is 18 , you may disagree and think it's stupid, but , among many other considerations, yes ,maybe parents don't want their kids to break laws so casually , same as they don'y want to shoplift or to drive without a license.
Regardless of legal technicalities, and with room for individual exceptions, yes the difference between being 15 and being 23 is monstrous psychologically and leaves the younger one wide open for sexual and emotional exploitation and manipulation. It's the older, more experienced, more accomplished one who has got the power , the power to pressure and unduly influence major choices, like that of becoming sexually active, having kids, leaving schools and jobs etc.etc, and not always this power is used in a mature ,selfless, benevolent way.
That's the same reason why, even widely over the age of consent, teachers are not supposed to date their students, doctors are not supposed to date their patients, etc. - because it would not be a relationship between equals therefore it's unethical.
This gap tends to close pretty fast while people grows up, matures, accumulates knowledge wisdom and experience ( hopefully ) so yeah, if she is 23 and he 's 29, no great shakes.
But she 16 and he 22 ? In general, very eeewww.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2011): These mismatches work great for females. Females get respect and credit for being mature if it works out. But they don't get held responsible if it does not.
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reader, k_c100 +, writes (4 July 2011):
Well keep in mind, here on DC we have to do the legal bit because if not, the owner of the site could get into a lot of trouble if the parents ever found out that people were encouraging their underage teenage child to have sex. So often a lot of the answers include the legalities just to keep our backs covered!
I am 24 now but when I was 16, I dated a 21 year old - my parents were pissed off but in the UK, 16 is the age of consent so it wasnt that bad. No-one cared much and we were together for a few years without any problems.
I think it mostly is a cultural/legal thing - each country has a different age of consent. So here in the UK, a 16 year old girl dating a 18 year old boy is nothing new, and no-one would bat an eyelid. But in the US, it is a different matte if the age of consent in that state is 18 and she is underage.
In my opinion even a 17 year old girl dating an 18 year old boy in the US is not that bad, and even in the US the chances of anyone going to jail for this are very slim. if you read up on American age of consent law, in most cases the real problems arise when there is a 3 year (or more) age gap between the minor and the offender. So using an 18 year old boy as an example, the girl would have to be 15 or less for him to get into real trouble, which is fair enough, no 18 year old should be having sex with a girl of 15 or less! If the 18 year old was found to be having sex with a girl of 16 or 17, if her parents were really pissed and went to the police then he might get a caution or a bit of a telling off, but the chances of being properly prosecuted are slim.
It is a rather personal opinion - some people are very strict that no-one should be losing their virginity before the age of consent, whereas people like me are more flexible. I lost my virginity aged 15 (1 year before the age of consent) to a 17 year old, and I think that was totally fine because we were in a long term comitted relationship, we practiced safe sex and we were happy with our decision.
Whereas if you had a group of friends, and a 15 year old was having casual sex with a 23 year old - that would be wrong to me. I think you have to be so careful under the age of 18 that you dont end up being used for sex by an older guy, because often you are not very mature, and a bit desperate to get a boyfriend so you can easily be used when all you want is love. And a 23 year old man having sex with a school child is wrong on many levels, a man that age shouldnt be attracted to teenagers, that would suggest there is something wrong with him!
I think if the boy and the girl are both still students (say a 21 year old guy with a 16/17 year old) then it doesnt seem too bad. But when you start getting into a proper working adult who has their own house, car etc and is having sex with a school child it seems a bit predatory - you instantly think that he is using his age, status, car etc to lure her by thinking it is really cool to go out with an older boy - when really he is just using her for sex.
It is all personal opinion, and some relationships with age gaps may not be all bad and may be loving and happy. But on the whole a lot of teen girls get lured in by the 'look at how cool I am with my older boyfriend' idea, and end up losing thei virginity earlier than they want because they feel pressured by him, and worried if they dont they will lose him. Circumstances play a big part, and so does the legal age of consent depending on country - but at the end of the day it will differ with each person you speak to. I'm sure a lot of people will disagree with me, and you will get a lot of varied answers!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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