A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:history- me and my girlfriend(or ex), have been together for 2yrs plus.1st year was bumpy, a lot arguments, 2nd year was a bit better than usual, for the last months it was going great.problem, we had a slight argument and had big fight and broke up. she told me she needed time off from me. i work pretty much a full schedule, and rarely have time to be with her, and when im home from work i really didnt want to talk on the phone and just relax.so i feel that we lost connection because of it. the reason the argument started was because in my days off i wanted to see her recently, and she had started helping the wrestling team from the high school and because of that we couldnt hang out. and i got i guess jealous or sad because of it. so i got mad.but the whole reason she wanted time off, time to figure out what shes going to do in her life, she isnt going to college and has no job, and she wanted to figure out things and how and what she is going to do. and well im tough to take care of i guess. not like a little kid to feed or anything, i can take care of myself.most of the time i was tired, really wouldnt pay attention,so i think it was my fault.after break-up, she says she just wants time off, july 28th was our 3rd anniversary date. so we decided on that date to have lunch/dinner and catch up on things.she says she still loves me, but she doesnt want to get back together. im ok with that, in a sense that i work overnight, 30+ hours, im going to start going to school, and become emt. so i really wont have much time for a gf. but i dont want to know that she has found someone else. i really love her. at first, she was like i dont want to see you or talk with you.but me being the stupid guy, kept on bothering her, because i refuse to lose her. she just wants to figure things out, then get back together, unless ive moved on.my question is, should i still chase after the woman i love? it will be valentines soon, one thing she always wanted from was promise ring, she was willing to marry me. i asked her if i can buy her a gift, she agreed and for a night out. i wanted to buy her a gift, and an engagement ring. but for her not to open the ring(surprise for her), until she decides to get back together, or should i just leave her alone.as far as marriage, i wanted to get a better job(hence going to school), and wanted better vehicle, then move in together.but for her to know im hers and only hers with that ring!any thoughts and opinions greatly appreciated!
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a break, anniversary, broke up, get back together, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, mpboomer +, writes (11 February 2011):
Hey dude, sorrry to hear about your situation. Let me make some suggestions.
1. consider making an adjustment on your work hours.
2. check out a website called magicofmakingup.com. It gives you suggestions and techniques on how to win her back. I guarantee you they work.
3. everytime you both meet show her that you love her and want to be with her.
I hope things work out and I would greatly appreciate a progress report.
A
female
reader, incendia1990 +, writes (10 February 2011):
 -She has to decide for sure whether or not she wants to be with you rather than keeping you waiting full of hope. -What needs to happen is you need to make sure she really does eventually want to get back together with you. -Its ok to take some time off, especially due to such busy schedules, but if both your schedules are creating problems and there's no way that either of you will be able to change the schedules or make time for each other, this relationship may fall through. -As for the marriage situation, although you two love each other, before thinking about marriage, the issues you are dealing with have to be resolved, otherwise the marriage will not last. -Obviously, there are trust issues that have to be resolved, on both ends (by proving to each other that you are trust worthy and that you can trust each other), -You both have to make sure you know what you are doing with your lives, because 1) that should be first priority (especially if, I'm assuming, you'd one day want a family) 2) so you'd know what kind of situations you'll have to deal with in terms of relationship vs. work schedule/duties, and3) because marriage means that you wont be taking care of just you, you'll be taking on the responsibility of another human being, even if she is a grown adult, you have to make sure that you two can support each other, emotionally and financially, -And you both have to think logically whether or not the relationship has a chance due to the way both your schedules are and the problems your having.I do hope that I've helped and that things do work out between you two.
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A
female
reader, angelalb +, writes (10 February 2011):
I would not wait too much longer. You are missing out on life and if you don't have much time for her like you said things will go back to the way they were. Before you know it you guys will be arguing again. I hope this helps. Daniele
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