A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am very lonely, I have no friends, no boyfriend, there is nowhere to go in town, its living here. Nobody understands my loneliness and my sadness. I cry because I am so lonely and upset. There is nothing I can do about it. I go nowhere, I spend 365 days a year at home, I can't get a job and there are no jobs in Ireland.I cantt move anywhere, I have no money and no car. No one to email or talk any day. I am on bebo and face book but nobody bothers with me, nobody cares, I went to counsellors but there were of no help. I joined organisations and associations and I was still alone and crying.I do sport no one bothers there with me either, I do make the effort but they don't make any effort with me.I have no life outside the house I live in. I'll always be alone like I have been all my life, looks like what's left of my so called life.I just can't escape... I AM STUCK IN RUT WITH NO ESCAPE.no and i don,t sorry for my self and i am friendly and i try to go places but i am still empty and alone.moving to another country is NOT an option.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): Great answer, Ignorance! So very true! :-)
There are so many ways to keep yourself happy and entertained through following an idea/ interest or generally developing self-improvement -Interesting people never get bored! (except being stuck at a dull job/ chore or waiting for a bus... though even that's hard now we all carry ipods everywhere we go!)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): You ask the same question time and time again. You get answers but you don't accept or listen to that advice. Perhaps you simply cannot see that people have tried to help you. Those that have tried to tell you how to get out of this depressive rut have your best interests at heart, and what do they get in return? You simply go through their list of answers and mark every one as 'poor' and knock everyones' rating down. Are you really surprised that you don't have any friends and are destined to live a life of lonely misery when this is how you behave? You'll end your days as a lonely, bitter old spinster unless you drastically alter your attitude to life and people in general. Are you not happy unless you're making other people miserable? I personally couldn't give a damn about my ratings on this site and I'm certainly not going to be overly concerned about one bitter woman whose mission in life is to live under a black cloud, and tries to drag everyone else down with her, when I like to think I've given good advice to hundreds of others whose lives have improved because of it.
You choose for yourself whichever path in life you take - the joyful one or the miserable one - the choice is entirely yours. As things stand, you must be an absolute joy to be around (not).
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A
male
reader, Ignorance  +, writes (19 April 2009):
Befriend your loneliness! I have people around me but many times I choose isolation. Just to inspire you with some ideas on what I do alone: I drive alone for 1-2 hours with loud music I like while singing and talking to my self. I like sitting by a rock at the beach reading a book-usually philosophy. But the greatest anti-depressant is exercise! Walk alone in the forest or at the beach, jog, admire the nature, learn to play a music instrument, appreciate the beauty of art and visit museums, read, expand your knowledge. You don't need anybody...it's all in the mind I guarantee that. And as great philosopher Nietze said "Great thinkers prefer their own company"
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A
male
reader, Neboraic  +, writes (18 April 2009):
I feel exactly the same way. It was only in my early twenties that i realised my key to happiness. Being happy with work! Days when work is going well, i am happier and more fun. Days when it isnt going well (which is the way its been most of my life) then im unhappy and just want to stay in and watch TV. I think a job you enjoy is priority no.1. Also jobs bring friends. Also hobbies (particularly ones that involve communities like DearCupid), they bring friends too and give you something to do.It is possible to happy in whatever situation you are in provided you are positive. I know this because ive had everything i want around me but just out of reach because i am not happy. So then people dont see my funny happy exciting side and being unhappy means i dont feel like ceases opportunities. At the moment i am still in this state but i know what needs to change and i am working on it.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (18 April 2009):
 I think you sound genuinely depressed and my advice is to go and make an appointment with your GP. Tell him how you're feeling and ask him for help. I'm sorry if you feel we've come down on you quite hard, that is NOT our intention. Yes, you do seem stuck in a rut but unless you are WILLING to do something about it and take action to get out of that rut and make positive changes then no amount of pills will help you.
Take the advice and seek professional help (and stick at it, don't give up after a couple of visits.) There IS help out there if you really want it.
~Eve~
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (18 April 2009):
 Either you are actually a teenager, with died floppy hair who enjoys listening to Cradle of filth, or you're a seriously ill adult who needs help.... Please get professional help, we do understand you, you just are not willing to take advice, what do you want us to say to make it better?
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (18 April 2009):
Is this what you always do when people try to talk with you? Tell them they don't understand you and to forget it? Help me understand then... come on... talk to me! I'm listening and will try to help you.
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009): I am sorry I asked you, you don't understand me, forget I asked you, obviously you don't understand me, you probaby never will.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (18 April 2009):
This is the same question you asked before. I gave you my advice on the other thread. (See link below)
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-so-very-lonely-and-living-in.html
Like I said before to you, you need to change your ATTITUDE and be willing to push yourself more. Seriously read over the answers you have been given, don't fob them off, APPLY THEM!
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009): i don,t slag off people they do it to me
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (18 April 2009):
Maybe the reason you have a rotten life is because you slag off the people that try and help you and don't take advise, spend too much time on the internet wallowing in self pity!
Seriously Uncle Phil is right you've had some great advise in the past, we've all had hard times and yes most of us have got through them.
If you feel you are the only person in the world that has been in this position and understands the way you feel, you need to speak to a Doctor as what ever we say here isn't going to help because we don't understand your agony, and can't help you. You are not going to make friends by saying:
"uncle phil when you have lived with rotten life i have you comment but i am not asking you .so see the anwwers are adqueate enought"
That doesn't help people like you at all does it?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009): uncle phil when you have lived with rotten life i have you comment but i am not asking you .so see the anwwers are adqueate enought
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009): Haven't you asked this a few times before? If so, I think the replies you got were quite adequate.
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