A
female
age
30-35,
*urlycarlyx3
writes:I am still madly in love with my ex boyfriend. We still talk everyday but its always a fight. We tell each other every day that we wanna be together, but we can never get over things. He tells me how he's so in love with me and I'm the only girl he wants to be with, but the way he treats me shows differently. I saw him one time in three weeks and it ended in a fight. He doesnt treat me the way a guy should. But I cant help that I'm in love with him. He's the first guy I've ever loved and I can't stop obsessing over him. I really wanna get over him and just cut him out of my life but I can't stop myself from talking to him. I just love him so much. I dont know what to do. Has anyone else been in this position before? I need someone to point me in the right direction.....
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female
reader, harleygirl2010 +, writes (22 August 2011):
 I understand the same. It was the same with me and my ex and we even got engaged after 4 years of dating. I was miserable the last two years and cried myself to sleep most nights. I didn't know how to leave so i prayed and God took control. I'm not trying to push religion just that i how it happened for me. After two weeks of praying for help My ex ended things with me and now i'm with a new man and I am happier than ever. Just have faith that everything will turn out the way it is supposed to. It can be hard to leave and it can be hard to let them walk away when they end it. It was hard for me to do cause i had spent 4 YEARS of my life with him. Maybe you two could talk and just be friends instead of dating?
I hope all turns out well for you.
A
female
reader, Curlycarlyx3 +, writes (21 August 2011):
Curlycarlyx3 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionkyle, that was spot on! you're very right. weve been talking for over a year now and i just cant picture my life without him. i miss the times we used to have. sometimes he can be the GREATEST guy in the world, and then other times i say to myself, "why should i put up with this when i know that there are guys that would treat me a whole lot better". but its the fact that its him that i cant stay away.. cause hes my first love. pooky, thanks, its good to know that im not the only one that feels this way about their ex.Love is the easiest thing to do in our relationship. Its the other things that come after. Im just so stuck.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (21 August 2011):
What is going on is that you feel sort of "safe" with him because you have a history. To you, this sometimes overrides the fact that you are at odds with him.
You know, staying friends after a breakup is a bad enough of an idea. But you guys aren't even friends, you are combatants.
You still can't get over the fact that he is not what you wanted him to be. If anything, you are in love with your illusion of him, not who he really is. He must have made some sort of good first impression and that impression stuck and you just can't let go of that despite how mean he really is.
If you can go back (in your mind) to the point in time where you THOUGHT he was so great, remember the circumstances of that and then make a conscious decision that you are now NOT in love with him, you may be able to "break the spell".
Its a decision you have not let go of. So inspect the decision.
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A
female
reader, pooky. +, writes (21 August 2011):
 I know exactly what your going through, am in the same situation. Me and my ex barely broke up about a week ago & recently we talked about getting together but we have too many issues & decided to be friends & try it out later.
As of right now am taking it pretty well, we don't talk everyday bcuz we both need our space. I always think about this, let him go and if he comes back then it was ment to be.
Be friends with him and talk to him but not as often, during that time think of the reason why you guys broke up, if you guys love each other so much then there wouldn't have been a reason to break up.
You're still young and have a whole life ahead of you, don't let him stop you. Good Luck(:
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