A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, I've recently starting seeing a new guy, problem is he split up from his longterm girlfriend of 2 and a half years just four months ago! she finished him, but she seems to be getting jealous of me and him. ive heard that he's been telling her he still loves her etc but when i ask him he says hes just telling her what she wants to her so she'll leave us alone, im not so sure. he's like the sweetest guy ive met and i do believe he likes me, just he loves her? :( is it worth continuing things or not, i dont want to get hurt, and im beginning to become paranoid like are they on the phone now etc, i dont want to end things with him but i dont know what to do. he's so special.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (7 January 2008):
 When you are in love, you become very vulnerable because you let your guards down for him.You can be hurt when your guards or defense is down.
It is not right to tell your ex that you still love her.This cannot be.It looks like in his heart, he is still fond of her.You are only the second best. Any moment, she opens her door for him ,he will be back with her .You have to think of this possibility.
He is like the sand on the beaches, each time a wave comes onshore, the landscape changes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): Hi, this does not sound good especially his excuses for continuing to make her feel good about herself yet make you feel bad in the process.You are young and beautiful, with lots of energy and love to give - it should be the most wonderful time of your life, when you build solid foundations for love, feeling good and giving/receiving of love in a way that you won't have experienced before. I spent 4 years with a guy who sounds very similar to your circumstances, always making sure his ex was happy whilst I was left feeling second best. Yet I was hooked on him, I think because he was my first serious boyfriend and I thought when you met that "someone" you worked through it whatever was going on. I was a fool, he saw his ex behind my back, constantly talked about her and even though he is now married, he still longs for this girl. In the process, he mixed up alot of peoples lives, including my own because I became to distrust men, I began to think I wasn't worth a man bothering with - the mind games play all sorts of tricks with you and you end up being the messed up one. Please please please don't let this happen to you, move on and only accept from a man honesty, kindness and love - that way you will be happy with yourself and your relationship.Good Luck
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