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female
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anonymous
writes: Is Spark everything? Is it better to be with someone who you really have that amazing spark with or someone who you really care about and respect and love but that spark is not there.I know the spark goes but if it is not there in the first place does it mean the relationship won't work...
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (4 March 2006):
 I would rather be with somebody I loved and cared about without the so-called over-rated *spark*, 'cos that always wears off eventually anyway.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2006): i've got the same problem at the moment, been with my bf for a year and a half although we have been best friends for 4 years..we had a spark when we first met but now the passion isn't there. my problem is that i've only ever been attracted to bad boys and my current is amazing in that he treats me like gold and makes me laugh..what is more important i dont know???
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (3 March 2006):
 Not at all sure what constitutes a "spark" I have thought I have some spark with a fella only to find out that it was not a spark but a lustyness and once the sex had worn off there was nothing much left to call a relationship.
On the other hand I have dated blokes who I have just liked and had stuff in common with but no spark and they have been good and the relationship has built and built, so my advice is dont think so much, just go with what you feel and work from that.
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A
female
reader, juliagulia +, writes (2 March 2006):
 Sometimes you just know someone is right for you and sometimes there is a person that you know is a good person and would be good to you and you try to make yourself like that person because you know they are good for you. Look, I hate carrots and even though I know they are good for me, I cannot make myself like carrots. The same goes for love interests. If you don't feel that you are really into them, but want to be because you know they would be good to you, that won't work. But if you really deeply care about someone and you want to give it a try, then why not? Sometimes people are friends for half their lives, then realize they have deeper feelings and those relationships seem to last longer than most. If that is the case, then I don't think the butterlies in the stomach feeling is too important. It might happen over time, you never know! Most of the time, people become more attractive to you once you get to know them, so maybe you will feel the spark and just don't feel it yet.
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A
female
reader, Ahava +, writes (2 March 2006):
IT depends what 'Spark' you are thinking of. IS it that spark when you see a really hot guy and you're just kinda dumbfounded? That's infatuation and that does not always grow into love. Or is that slow building up sense of trust, humour and love, when one day you just look at your significant other and can't describe in words what they mean to you? These are two different sparks. In my opinion I've always found the latter to indicate real love. The first just turns into playing games. But one thing is for certain, you need to feel something!!!! You need to want to be with that person more than anything else in the world, otherwise, you ain't got much.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2006): Relationships without initial spark do work. There is a difference between "fall in love" and "being in love". And there is a difference between "love" and "friendship".
If I were you, I will follow my heart...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2006): If the spark is not there, then there is a good chance that the sexual relationship (chemistry) wont work. I suggest you try it and see.
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