A
female
age
,
*orriedmom
writes:Hi everyone.I am a mother of two children. I love them both deeply. My daughter is doing great, has a husband, three boys and just completed college. My son is a great person, but has recently put himself into a tough situation. He met a girl about a year and a half ago. Their relationship developed quickly, she became pregnant and moved in with me, my son was already living with me. His girl friend was very disrespectful to him and to me. She was demanding and did not want him to go or do anything without him. We decided that this was because she was with child. The child was born with birth defects. We found out that the mother had been taking something for personality disorder in the early months of pregnancy. Anyway, the girls behavior worsened. After the child was around five months, we had a great falling out. I asked my son and her to leave. They moved in with her parents. I have not scene my son for three months. I have talked to him once on the phone, because she had went to the store. I miss my son and my new grandchild greatly, what should I do to fix the relationship? My son says that his girl friend will not let him come over or call me. She refuses to let him take the child out for fear that he will bring her to see me. The falling out occurred during an argument between she and him I was trying to hold the child so she would not be exposed to the violent screams of her mother. Can anyone give me advice?
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (1 December 2010):
 Thanks for the update :)
A
female
reader, worriedmom +, writes (1 December 2010):
worriedmom is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi everyone!
Thank you all for your help and advice. Reading your words has eased my soul.
I have some very good news about my situation! My son and his family came to thanksgiving! I was completely surprised. He apologized for his selfish behavior. He told me that he had watched Joyce Myers on TV and realized how selfish he had been. Thanksgiving was a truly thankful day. My son told me that he would be calling me and that he and his family would return to visit. His girlfriend was very pleasant, quiet, but pleasant. I really enjoyed holding and playing with my grandchild.
As of today, he has not called me or his sister. I hope that everything is still OK with them, but this is something that I will probably never know for sure. Thanks again for your soothing words. I will keep the saga updated.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): It's about time your son got strong, If some one wishes to really see you they would. Sorry but all i see is weakness.
Spunky monkey
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A
male
reader, Nithyanala  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 There is little you can do except hope that your son will eventually come to his senses. Just make sure he knows, (like jmtmj says) that you love him and your grandchild.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (24 November 2010):
I was once in the clutches of a similar girl, (though luckily no pregnancy). My ex sounds very similar to your sons girlfriend in that she had a personality disorder, was disrespectful to my folks, friends and gradually made me almost eliminate them entirely from my life.
I sympathize with you, I really do... Mostly because I can't think of a damn thing that anybody could have said or done to make me grow a backbone, realize she was toxic and wasn't ever gonna change. Don't think that your son doesn't want to see you... if he's anything like me he's stuck on this dramatic roller-coaster and as much as he may not like it most of the time, somethings keeping him on it.
All I can really suggest is not to get between them. Maybe try to find a way to meet him face to face, if only for a minute. Perhaps tell him something along the lines of;
"You are my son, I will always love you, forgive you for anything, be a shoulder to cry on and always have a hug waiting for you. The family misses you terribly, just remember how much we care about you. Ok?"
I think that's all you should try to say, honestly... if he wants to open up, then you've given him the best possible opportunity I can think of.
Best of luck aye...
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