A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: hi. so most people would love to have the relationship i have. it's all perfect. minus the fights. but we're so close and stuff. sometimes i feel like i wanna be with him forever but other times i'm so mean to him and i just don't want to be with him anymore. we've been together for 2 months. i've always had relationships that i couldn't keep. but i don't know what to do. if i broke up with him that wouldn't be good because i hang out with the people he hangs out with so he'd be there and that would just be awkward. i don't know what to do...... help?!
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female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (14 August 2008):
is there a reason why there are arguments? are you guys not compatible? you are pushing him away? are you afraid of becoming vulnerable? nitpicking over small things that don't really matter? not accepting him for who he is? pms?
take all of those into consideration and see what the two of you need to fix so that you get along great! be honest to yourself.
and don't stay with him just because you don't want to start a little awkwardness in your social circle. that isn't a good enough reason! stay with him because you really care about him!
A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (14 August 2008):
You have to realize that no relationship is perfect. There will be ALWAYS fights in the relationship and differences between the two people in the relationship.
The key for a great relationship is to compromise. Like I said before, all relationships WILL have fights but what makes a relationship strong is getting over those fights. A good way to get over fights is by having a great communication with your partner. So when you have fights, try to get time to vent off and later talk with your boyfriend about the problem you had that led to a fight. If you two talk in friendly terms and are mature enough to come with a compromise, then your relationship will mature and keep on going.
Now, I hope this does not offend you (I think it will, though), but you're expecting too much for a 2 month relationship. You two have barely started the relationship and are knowing each other in a more deep context than friendship. Now the two of you depend on each other more than you would depend on a friend and you expect stuff from each other than you would never expect from a friend.
Also, age takes a toll for the two of you. You're in the 13-15 bracket, and again I'm trying to not offend you but being totally honest with you, you're still pretty young and relationships at your age range rarely last. The reason is because the two of you have barely started into the journey of becoming and adult and your tastes, behaviors, and thoughts will keep on changing. For example, the way you think now is not the same way 3 years ago, right? And the same will be in 3 years; you will have other thoughts and would probably act differently. People change and so their relationship with people. For this reason, it would be very hard for the two of you to keep this relationship.
Now, I'm not saying your relationship is already doomed. Nor I'm saying you will be the same as other people your age. My grandmother met my Grandpa when she was 16 (he was 17) and they've been married for 53 years if they were still alive. What they had was rare. Extremely rare, but not something impossible.
So what I suggest you to do is that when you're in fights with him, try to talk about the problem that caused the two of you to fight. By doing this, both of you will mature both in your relationship and personality. You could say mean things to him when you're mad at him, but it takes greater courage to say sorry afterwards and try to change so you will not repeat it again.
Oh, as a side note, if you do actually break up, you could do it in friendly terms. Many people have ended up being friends with their ex's (me included, and I still hanged out wit him), so don't try to see this as an imposibility.
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