A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: It's driving me mad.There this bloke that I really, really like.Sometimes he can be the sweetest person I know.He laughs at my jokes and I laugh at his.We've got quite a bit in common and I have known him now for 5 years.Sometimes though he can act like a complete and utter pig, like he doesn't know me at all, blows me out for things I ask him.Doesn't always want to help me out, when there is a lot I have helped in out with over the years.Can one day text me for half the day and then other days, can't even get a one word answer back.He is so infuriating and just want to think stuff him and then one day I see these gorgeous eyes and that's everything forgotten.I don't know if he is keen on me, or does he just see me as a mate, who helps out each other and has the odd chats, I just can't tell, sometimes I think he looks that way and other days I don't. He seems to have a big heart, but he is also a bit of a moody at a times.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Em, appreciate it and thank you for the advice :)
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (3 May 2013):
 Keep your chin up darling, you are a young girl and there is still loads of time to meet the right man.
Don't make someone a priority, who only sees you as an option...You can do better xxx Em
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for the advice.
I guess I had the question answered to what I really already know.
Wish I knew what his problem was, I consider myself cute, not drop dead gorgeous, but ok, I'm funny, we get a long, he laughs in all the right places.
He never seems to have trouble looking at me.
Obviously he just can't see what I see in him :(
I know it won't do any good ignoring him, as gone a month not speaking to him.
So thank you, it is time to move on and take a back seat to helping him out.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 May 2013):
 nope he's not keen on you
you are a friend nothing more
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 May 2013):
 Well, first of all " utter pig " should disqualify him on principle. It's not a matter of everybody having their flaws , or off moments,- if he does ONCE something that cuts you so deep that you must call him a pig, then you should not even consider him as a romantic interest. ( Or, as a friend, if you ask me ).
I am afraid that you have not even being friend-zoned, you have been helpmate-zoned. He pays attention to you when he needs something, or when he is bored and wants to kill some time, ... anyway when HE decides he profits from interacting with you. But never when there's nothing in it for him.
That's not " mixed signals ", that's the signals of a self involved, fairweather " friend ". He may have gorgeous eyes , but, looks aren't everything ( and trust me, I am not one to discount the importance of physical attraction ).
And " you can't make a silk purse from a pig's ear " :)
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (2 May 2013):
 Hi
I agree with AuntieEm, your friend zoned, so start looking on him as one of your mates and don't give him so much of your time and energy.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (2 May 2013):
It sounds as if you are in the 'friends' zone. Like other friends, sometimes you talk to them a lot, and sometimes you don't. He is picking and choosing when he speaks to you...he isn't chasing you.
You should not do so much for him, it isnt going to make him like you any more than he does and the fact he isn't returning the favour indicates that he isn't as mad about you, as you are him.
If you find yourself thinking about him all the time and checking your phone to see if he has contacted you, then you are maybe putting too much focus on him...accepting the scraps of communication can be very damaging to you self esteem and can also be addictive. Don't be fooled into thnking the scant messages mean more than they actually do.
Allow yourself to contact him maybe twice a week and the rest of your time, focus on other people or activities. Men do not like to be ignored (it's an ego thing). He isn't behaving like somene who wants to be your boyfriend, so cut off his air for a while and ignore him...see if he comes running!...if he doesn't, then you have your answer.
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