A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've posted a few times in the past two weeks about me and my (now ex) girlfriend first being on shaky communication terms, then on a break. Basically, the last time we talked and went on a break, she said she had to clear up things with family issues and focus on getting her grades back up. I agreed, hoping that if she took the time she needed, she'd be ready to move on with our relationship.Well I found out today that she's been going on dates with another guy. I called her and we talked for a few hours and she finally concluded that she's been feeling tethered down from being in a long distance relationship. She feels she can't enjoy aspects of college when she's so attached to home. She wants to go out more and see other people.As hurt as I was, I knew there was nothing I could do. If she wants to throw away a long term, healthy, committed relationship with someone who loves her more than anything just so she can go get hit on at the bars, then fine.What to do now?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the support and advice. I actually feel better than I have in the last 3 weeks. For about 3 weeks she strung me along, not sure what she wanted from our relationship while I put myself on the line and did my best to fix what I could. I put forth so much energy and commitment when the entire time she already considered it to be over; she just didn't have the guts to go through with it.But now that the suffering is done and we've gotten a clean break, I feel much better. The only problem is, I still love her so much and want her to be happy. She called me the other night crying, saying that she thinks she made a mistake, and it took every ounce of energy in my body to tell her that this was her idea and she needs to go through with it. I wanted to take her back so badly, but I know that until she discovers for herself what she's missing out on in leaving me, we can never be together.Maybe some day down the road we'll meet again, but I'm not banking on it. I'm moving forward and just seeing what fate brings me.
A
male
reader, wolfred bane  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 hey, i can feel your'e deeply troubled well,this is a new start for you.forget about her, shes not worth your time bro.hey, but if u stillcan't get over it,remember this.if a guy leaves a girl,he truly loves her.
Dun wry your'e not alone where here to help. why not post this in the forums?
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 What you need to do it get back out there in the world. Realize that you two shared good times that neither of you will ever forget and even though it's hard to think of now you will find someone else. She needed her freedom, I'm sorry it had to happen that way but the only way this relationship is in vain is if you let it get you down. Look back on all the good times and remember that you have so much to offer a girl and that you need to get out there in the world where a girl will cross your path.
It's always difficult to see the future after a break up but the sooner you realize that a bright future is still there the faster you heal.
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A
female
reader, brianna6037 +, writes (12 November 2010):
Well if you think that you still have feelings for this girl then the best thing to do would be to try and forget about her. You can definetely find someone better.
I kinda get what you feel like; when your girl leaves you for another guy it makes you feel like "What does that guy have that i don't have?" the answer is...nothing.
Long distance relationships are tricky (believe me i have been in a few) if you dont keep in constant communication it can leave your partner feeling like you just dont care anymore and that you possibly have found someone better than her. So they start dating guys on the side and eventually forget all about their "Long distance relationship" the truth is,
Long distance relationships never work out.
I am sure that you will find someone else that loves you, and only you. The best thing to do is to try and forget about her.
I hope that helps!
Best of luck,
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