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male
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writes: After many years of failing to start a relationship with someone, I fell in love with a 13 year old (I was 31 at the time). This isn't pedo, as I've not been interested in schoolgirls before or now. We ended up seeing each other (with both our parents consent) and even sent each other a Valentines card & present (neither of us had had one before). But now its ended, I'm lost. I'd love a relationship with someone of a "socially acceptable" age, but with all the rejections in the past, I'm not sure if I could go through another one.
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (6 July 2005):
I've got news for you mister.If you are sexually & romantically interested in a 13 year old CHILD....you ARE A PEDOPHILE !I refuse to beat around the bush.You are 31 years old...so don't toss rubbish about getting parents consent...her parents need their heads examined if they gave consent for their baby to be molested by you.And if you need YOUR parents consent...GROW UP !I'm relieved to hear the relationship ended.Rejection in this case is a healthy word !
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reader, pops +, writes (6 July 2005):
YOu had better consult a solicitor, sir, before going out with this young lady. I suspect she is too young as a matter of law, to consent to any kind of sexual behavior, including anything she starts. Shame on her parents for permitting her to be going out with a 31 year old man ! How stupid are they? I am not accusing you of anything, but you are putting yourself in a position where you can be accused of committing a crime, and it will ruin your reputation, and cost you more money they you can dream about. What can you possibly have to talk about with a 13 year old? What kind of life must you be leading if she is interested in what you do, enough to hold a conversation with her? Find someone at least 18 years old. Don't make starting a friendship a big deal. You can meet women doing the kinds of things you enjoy, such as dancing, or outdoor sports. You will at least have that in common with them. My wife and I found out we both liked to shoot Pool, so we went to a poolhall on our first date, and had a great time. Later, I found out she had always wanted to go hunting, but her father and brothers refused to take her along with them. I took her target shooting, and then hunting, and we had a great time together. Does this give you some ideas on how to meet people closer to your own age, make friends and have fun with women? As for romance, my wife told me, several months after we became romantic, that I was " the man of a thousand kisses", because she had never been kissed so many different ways, and in so many different places by anyother man! If you are going to work on skills, start with teaching yourself how to kiss. Use the back of your hands, and fingers, so that you can feel what your lips feel like to a woman when you kiss her. Man has been figuring out how to meet and seduce women since the dawn of time. Of course, you will fail once in awhile. Learn from each failure, and try again. For example, I bumped heads with my wife when we were first dating, because I zigged when she zagged when I went to kiss her. No real harm done, of course, but I asked her, in the most serious voice I could affect, To please warn me the next time she was going to zag, so that I didn't hurt her, and then offered to kiss the contact point to make it all better. She laughed, and I then kissed her on the lips. Pops
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female
reader, Helen05 +, writes (3 July 2005):
Of course you are scared of rejection, everybody is. You have to open your heart. You may get hurt, and dissapointed and have your heart broken, but without this risk you will never find true love.
Any relationship with a 13 year old girl will not be one of equals. I think this was your way of avoiding being hurt, by being in a relationship with someone who is so immature and will not have grown up feelings towards you. You may not be interested in schoolgirls, and this girl may have had something genuine that you saw and fell in love with. This could not be a proper relationship for you. People will question your motives and will assume you are a paedophille. This will not attract women your own age to you. Especially as any sexual contact with this girl would be illegal.
Go out, enjoy yourself, find out who you are and keep your heart open to the possibilities of an adult relationship.
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