| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm wanting a bit of advice from other readers please ;0)I have a happy relationship with a wonderful man, we have 2 children together and I thought I had everything in the world. My partner moved 200 miles to live with me and since he moved here 3 years ago we have constanly argued about his ways!! IE He leers after anything in a skirt, quite blatantly in front of me and them says I'm being paranoid! We run a small business from home and he gets personally involved with Female customers!! (the male ones don;t seem to really matter to him) He told me last week that if I was a couple of stones lighter he would love and fancy me more!! Bearing in mind that I have had 2 children in 2 years and my youngest in only 11 months!!! I am not a paranoid person or have I any jealousy about him with other women but he seems to push it to the limits. I would appreciate any comments/advice that anyone can offer as I don't want to end a relationship and then regret it later.Many thanks
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (6 July 2005):
First of all, you do NOT have a happy relationship with a wonderful man.I agree with you...he is totally INSENSITIVE...and Selfish!The fact that you have blessed him with 2 beautiful children, should fill his soul with joy & appreciation.Instead, he criticizes your weight & chases after skirts.That man needs to give his head a good shake !You are not being paranoid or jealous...your reaction is normal & healthy...it's good for you to express your emotional hurt about how he is neglecting you.I hate to say this, but your husband is an "an Affair waiting to happen" and it's not your fault...you are busy at home with 2 little Angels, taking care of their needs, cooking meals, doing housework & being a wonderful wife.My advice is to stop letting him bully you about your weight, stop tolerating his wandering eye and put your foot down !If he can't step up to the plate & hit a home run for his family...he STRUCK OUT & he's a Loser !
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2005): Thankyou Helen, Rebecca and Becky for your help and advice. I really was starting to think that I was turning this into a big issue!! I tried to speak with him last night and although I think he listens he just does NOTHING!! about it. Again down to my insecurities. I'm just really pleased that when I go out socially I still gets lots of attention otherwise my self esteem would be on the floor. I've even thought, his he jealous of me and the only way he thinks he will keep me is by making me feel like he does. I don't know :0/ I just know that unless he books his ideas up he will be looking at a future without me and the kids and I don;t think he can see that happening. Many thanks again
...............................
A
female
reader, Helen05 +, writes (4 July 2005):
You start out by saying that you have a happy relationship with a wonderful man, and then you tell us this! It is not a happy relationship and he is not a wonderful man. It may have happy moments but it seems that he fundamentally disrespects you.
You make it sound like you are lucky to have him. You are not lucky to be treated the way you are treated. Losing a couple of stone is difficult at the best of times but when you have two small children it becomes nearly impossible.
Tell him how you feel and be specific about how his actions affect you. Give examples and do not generalise. Telling him he always does something or telling him he is wrong will undermine your point. Do not let him tell you you are being silly. your concerns are genuine. Also, don't let him try to make you feel bad about moving. You didn't kidnap him!
Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (4 July 2005):
 It seems to me that your husband is very disrespectful towards your feelings and emotions.
I wonder how he gets personally involved with his female customers? His leering at other women and running you down is indicative of a man who doesn't seem to even care how you feel and turns a blind eye to the impact of his actions.
I think the advice should be quite simple. Tell him to stop this or you will leave. If he isn't willing to put effort into your relationship and mend his ways, why would you want to be with a man who disrespects you like this anyway?
You need to sit down with him and talk with him about the problems in your relationship and how you can both work together to be happy. Allow him to tell you why he does this and why he is unhappy but explain to him that you will not tolerate it anymore. Perhaps he is trying to get your attention (though there are other ways!) and needs some input from you.
You do need to stand your ground on this and make him aware of how unhappy his behaviour is making you feel.
If he refuses to change or if you see no change in his behaviour, consider seriously leaving him.
I hope this helps.
...............................
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (4 July 2005):
What a git!! sounds lie he has no respect for you or your feelings.Many men want the security to have settled down and be part of a family but still think they can carry on as if they are single. he sounds like one of these types. Over time, this man will eat away at your self esteem, id end this relationship now unless you talk to him and he makes a big effort to change.
...............................
|
