A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everybody. I'm in a bit of a pickle at the moment. This may also be a bit long but I'll try to keep it as simple as I can, but I think I should give some back story.Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 18 months now and throughout that we've had problems, mainly due to his reluctance to interact with my family (such as won't even come into the family home to pick me up) and he won't tell me hardly anything about his childhood. The only detail I know is that his mother left his father when he was about 10 and he now harbours this resentment towards his mother, which I guess is also projected onto my family. He recently came back from 4 weeks of travelling to sort out some finances, but has since gone again for another month. One day while he was back, we were sitting and watching tv, I was on the internet when I received a message through a popular social networking site from his mother and told him about it. He suddenly got incredibly angry and upset that "I" had been in contact with her and forbade me to even look at any of his family's profiles. We had a big argument over it and he went to stay with a friend of his before he left. I saw him briefly before he left, went to have dinner and generally talk about what had happened, all I wanted to do was just find out what was wrong so that I could help when out of the blue he broke up with me. Saying that it was "for the best" as all I'm going to do is "keep bringing it up". So we broke up, then he wanted to get back together again, however I said that I would prefer to have a break. To this he replied "ok but not see other people". To which I agreed.However, I've slept with someone else. An old work colleage of both of ours. But I just don't know how to feel. I felt so humiliated and heartbroken when he broke up with me with the reasoning of "I've been annoying you a little bit this week and you brought my family and past up", When I told him how much I loved him he couldn't even say it back, which after never EVER hearing your boyfriend say those words and then to hear him say he can't... I just needed something, or in this case someone to block out that pain. I don't love or care for this other person, it was just sex.Well anyway, I'm sorry for this being so long. I guess what I want to know is,a) would it be best to just completely call it off (because despite what I've told you up there we are quite compatable),b)get back together and not tell him what happened.c) get back together and be honestd) whatever you suggestThanks in advance guys.
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a break, broke up, get back together, heartbroken, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LiloCoke  +, writes (26 August 2010):
Don't tell him, he has some deep emotional troubles connected with his childhood, so if you will bring up that u've also cheated it wont do any good or any improvement for both of you. If you regret what you did, and have no intention to repeat, then really, don't tell him, its best for him and your future as a couple.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): If the agreement was no sex with others during the break then you have cheated on him. He also does not know that you have risked exposing him to sexually transmitted diseases in this way. He has the right to know.
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A
male
reader, LAcreme  +, writes (26 August 2010):
 I think its better 2 be all sincere to him. D fact he's nt been open 2 u doesnt mean u shldnt clear ur cnscience first.
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