A
female
age
36-40,
*ulanda
writes:i have been dating a guy for 2 months thats going through a divorce, everything went great he told me that he sees a long and happy life with me.three weeks ago we went to durban so i can meet his brother, we got back on the sunday and the friday he left me, he told me, we shouldnt see each other anymore he needs some space and time to think...i have been hurt so many times before and he made so many promises.he took me back and 2 days after he took me back he left me again and i told him again i dont want him to leave me coz i love him so much and i want the pain to stop.how do i get him back???
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female
reader, Lotsalove.  +, writes (26 August 2010):
 You're dealing with a guy that is going through a divorce, if you haven't been through one yourself, you wont understand that is a complex and emotional progress. He's been married before, therefore he has been legally committed to someone and to break that, he has to go through weeks..months of paperwork and alot of the time, emotional stress. Why did his marriage break? He probably doesn't want to go near another relationship, let alone make any more committments.
You asking for too much of him right now is going to, but looks like it already has, cause alot more strain for him. At the moment if he wants to be with you, you just need to support him and not expect too much of him. If he doesn't want to be with you, you have to respect what he's going through and give him some space.
A
female
reader, annonymous 10  +, writes (26 August 2010):
Obviously this 'guy' is going through a very tough time and he needs some space, so give it to him.
Let him know how you are feeling but at the same time be kind to him. Ask him if he sees any future for you both and tell him to be honest. If he does then great, but if not you need to accept that and move on. Of course it is going to be tough for you both but ask if you two can still be friends! If you can then give him a hug and maybe hang out with him with some mates, thats all you can do!
Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (26 August 2010):
 I'm sorry, it sounds like you can't get him back but you NEED to ask him what it is he really wants. Does he want to be with you or not. This isn't fair to you and you have a right to know whether or not he actually feels anything for you.
It does sound like he has a lot on his mind though so maybe you just need to give him a little time. I know that when I'm going through something, I like to be left alone, it's not that I don't like my friends, I'm just more emotionally independant when it comes to personal troubles.
I hope that helps.
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