A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello my dilemma is this: I'm 24 years old, I just turned 24, and I met an absolutely amazing guy. I completely feel like I can be myself around him. He is wonderful in many ways. The issue? He's 39. So when I turn 25, he'll be 40. I just want to hug him constantly, which is unusual for me. So I guess it is best we stay friends which is fine, it's just the age gap would create a lot of complications and on top of that my family would think I was completely off my rocker. I told my best friend about him and she refused to even meet him. She says there's something wrong anyway that he's never settled down by this stage in his life. I see her point but still. I realize we're probably at different stages in life but we get along so well. I don't know, I basically made the decision to just leave it and be happy being friends but feel a little blue about it. Does anyone have any advice :(
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female
reader, itsallright  +, writes (27 August 2010):
Don't worry too much. Most of the intelligent or caring ppl around you are just worried, that you might get hurt by someone, who's trying to "stay young". Which is not always the case.I am 30, my husband is 50, we are together for 12 years now. It's been the life's experience that I so was exited about. A mature man, no silly childish games anymore, we could talk about anything, I never had that feeling of being a stupid chick next to an adult. The age has never been a problem, well, at least not for the 2 of us and not until now.It is him, who now starts to fear, that I might feel as being "stuck" with an "old" man and will want to leave one day. Well, I have no reason to, I still am in love with him maybe even more than at the beginning. If I ever should leave, then for sure not because of the age difference! And sooner or later he will see that too.There are no rules and guidelines for a relationship. It just has to feel right, for both of you and both of you have to be willing to invest some hard work into knowing, respecting and understanding each other. No matter what age. And keep in mind that no relationship is just a walk through the rose gardens. It becomes a happiness about being able to share your life with, no matter what days may come ... So if you are afraid of whats to come few years down the road - don't. Things between 2 ppl don't happen according to any scenario, try whatever you want out, you will see if it makes you happy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): How does he feel about you? Does he want to be more than just friends? If so, then I think you should do what YOU want to do, regardless of what other people may say or think. I know that can be hard. I was once in a relationship with someone a lot older than myself. Some people didn't understand it, and we did get some comments when we were out. But it wasn't important - being with him was. My mother was actually a lot more understanding and accepting of it that I had first thought she would be.
So yes...do what feels right for you. Don't put your dreams on hold because of the fear of what other people might think. If it makes you happy, then that is what's really important. It may work out, it may not...just like any relationship, whether both people are the same age or not. I think there is no reason at all why things could not work out between the two of you, if you both like each other and try. So do what feels right for you.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (26 August 2010):
 Follow your heart. You may be at a different stage, but what are stages anyway. People are in relationships because they enjoy each other. Even as you get older, you can't guarantee yourself that someone your age won't be at a different stage either, but should that discourage you from enjoying who you want to be with. I had a friend, 30 years old, he has a high school diploma, no college, and worked minimum wage jobs. His wife is close to his age, has a BS degree and is a vice president of a major computer manufacturing company. He now stays home and takes care of their children. Their fine with that situation, where she earns close to a million a year. Different stages, or backgrounds, but it works for them. So when you're talking about different stages, I believe that's only a relative term to what you're looking for.
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