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Six months together but he's not ready for sex? Is he worth waiting for? Or should I move on?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 September 2014) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 September 2014)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been friends with a guy in my class for about six months. He has made it obvious that he found me attractive from Day 1.

We became friends and started hanging out. During this time, he has always initiated affection (hugs, kisses, etc), yet he says we will never be more than friends.

He said he wants us to have sex but doesn't feel ready. He continues to act as if he wants to be with me but says otherwise.

Today, I jokingly called him an a^^hole and he told me he loved me, with a serious look.

Then gave me a long, intimate hug in front of his friends, saying it was intense. I want to further our relationship, but is he worth waiting for or should I move on?

View related questions: move on, ready for sex

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A female reader, Caring Aunty A Australia +, writes (30 September 2014):

Caring Aunty A agony auntWell here’s a turn for the books; a man wants to have sex but doesn't feel ready. Yet he says; “we will never be more than friends” (Is he aged 36-40?)

That either means he has other priorities or issues going on in his head, and whilst you have this is affectionate friendship has he ever dated you proper in 6 months, as to just hanging out with each other?

Friendship is the best foundation to start any relationship if there is to be a relationship… If you want to further this by taking it to the next level by having sex, you may stand the chance of ruining a good thing. Evidently sex is secondary to him as to your friendship at this stage. Good for him!

From my perspective, he could be limp, a closet gay, inexperienced, afraid, not that into you sexually or a really nice guy?

Either way it appears you've talked to him about this and the result so far is; he’s comfortable with a friendship status.

CAA

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (30 September 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntHoneypie is spot on

LISTEN to his words... you will never be more than friends.

IF you want to sleep with a friend and not have a full relationship then wait for him. Otherwise, start looking for a real boyfriend and stop toying with this guy.

BTW is your age correct?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (30 September 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI quote you here:

"yet he says we will never be more than friends."

WHY aren't you hearing what he is saying? He SAYS you two will NEVER be more then friends. So why do you think SEX is the next step? You think ( I presume) that IF you two have sex he will magically change his mind and date you? Be with you?

LISTEN to the guy. He doesn't WANT to date. He is enjoying the hugs and snuggles and MAYBE sex down the line, but HE isn't looking for a GF.

So IF you want a BF, I say more on. And stop with the physical intimacy. IF he is a friend he is a friend, and no hanky panky with friends.

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A female reader, Katie-Lynn  United States +, writes (30 September 2014):

Katie-Lynn  agony auntHe has clearly said that he will never be more than friends right? So he is basically dragging you along as a friend with benefits. As far as I can see it anyway. I would address it if you truly want this to work but if he still says he will never be more then friends then.......there we go. Good luck to you though.

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