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female
age
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anonymous
writes:my husband has contacted an old flame on facebook said he has been very happy with me, but after 20 years things are not what they used to be. He told this person he has been searching for her for 20 years and has never been so happy to see anyone as he always was to see her . That includes me. He told her he was sorry how badly he treated her, said he did not want anything from her but then also told her that the next move would be up to her What do you think is going on here?Was he offering to have an affair with her or am I worried for nothing? What do you think? He cheated on this person by sleeping with her best friend and treated her badly now after 20 years I feel he is doing the same thing to me
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe mentioned a trip to me back home to see family who live wher she live he also told her that he felt that things between us were not what they once were heb told her he not a very nice guy then and asked her if she thought she thought they could have a future together asked her if his relationship with me was a dream come true then what would she consider their relationship could've been she said she did not know the whole thing sounded like he was tryig to manipulate her into some kind of relationship she did not want to rehash
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe was angry when she blocked him he said some people sure can change in 33 years and its funny the different ways people remember things
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhanks everyone for helping me to see that once a liar always a liar
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 October 2014):
 Yeah well- it sounds like he wanted to get through clearly the message he'd be visiting ALONE, without his wife. So that she would NOT think it would be just a friendly catch up.
And : " ... the next move is up to you " ?.. Who talks this way to, say , an ex schoolmate or a long lost friend ro whom they 'd like to say an innocent hi again ?...
I agree with Honeypie's " diagnosis ": he was trying to hit on this lady and fell flat on his face. And now, of course, she is the crazy one !
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 October 2014):
 He's got you second guessing yourself now. Calling the woman HE reached out to crazy, makes him seem absolutely innocent. He was "just" being nice (according to him) and she is nuts...... Funny enough SHE was the crazy one, but she blocked him?
Why would he NOT expect he to chime in? He posted it for HER to see. Had he even MENTIONED a trip to you? The one you supposedly turned down?
Maybe he didn't reach out to her with the intend if cheating, maybe he was curious to see where she was at in life, if she had forgiven him.
To me it seems like he was hoping to rekindle something with her and fell flat on his face. But what husband would tell their wife that?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI could have misunderstood what he wrote on the internet after she pasted pictures of their hometown, when he said he's thinking of taking a trip, but his wife and son are not interested.Maybe he really was not expecting her to chime in, hey let's together?I don't know. What to think do you think, is that's what he meant or not?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe says he wishes clear up this misunderstanding but she is happily married and has blocked him
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female
reader, moon river  +, writes (4 October 2014):
 You know he is lying. So just tell him. If you need help you can always post another question explaining the situstion
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI confronted him he made it sound the girl was nuts and that he was just trying to say hello to her that she took it the wrong way and misunderstood . I don't know what to think don't know how to proceed
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reader, moon river +, writes (2 October 2014):
It sounds like he is initiating an affair. Now its your choice . You can stay with a man who treats you second best or you can work through it after confronting him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe told her he thought the photos she posted of there home was cool but and he was thinking of taking a trip but that his wife weren't interested what do you he meant by that do you think he was hoping that she would say hey lets get together since she still lives in there hometown it did not make sense to me
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe did no have an affair with me what broke the two of them up when they were young was his affair with her best friend he was young and very immature at the time
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reader, moon river +, writes (30 September 2014):
Ok. It doesn't make it better at all. Maybe it even makes it worse. But it's so easy to type things on the internet and feel like it's another world. I really think the ease of sending an out of order message is a serious problem so many people have to put up with.
He is quite blatantly trying to initiate an affair. Now hopefully he will get kicked to the curb by both you and her!
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reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 September 2014):
I would ask him. Or you can sit back and give him enough rope to "hang" himself first.
Is he just reaching out to feel a bit of the glory-days - a blast from the past or because he wants to reconnection in an emotional and physical way? That is hard to say.
My husband got a friends-request from his highschool sweetheart and they talk occasionally on FB, he talks to her husband (they all went to school together). There is nothing going on that makes me worried. He isn't hiding anything either. So not EVERYONE who reaches out are looking for someone to cheat with.
I would instead of looking at whome he talks to on FB, look at your marriage. How are you doing? Are you two on auto pilot? Have the love and passion gone? I mean he has cheated before and you stayed, but have EITHER of you really moved past that betrayal? Did he just expect YOU to suck it up? The trust isn't there for sure, and it seems like your husband ISN'T concerned with rebuilding it.
Instead of being so focused on this woman, I'd think long and hard if you want to stay with a man you can not trust, EVEN after 20 years of marriage. Is this what you want?
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