A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:umm .. i am a male aged 24 and i have just recently got my first girlfriend at age 23. my girlfriend lives in a forain country at this time. although i have not physically met her i still love her. i have many problams with anxiety and stress that are makeing me think the worst posible outcome. many times i wunder to myself if she even loves me also. i often express my emotions to her but she never expresses her emotions to me. sometimes i feel like im going crazy cuz i want her to open her heart to me so much that i ofter tend to anoy or bother her. i orten ask if she hates me and she always says no. but why do i always think she doesnt truly love me ?i know that our culturs are differant and i understand that she is her own person and i respect that.many times i also get jelous when she talks to other guys.am i possesive ?what can i do to help streangthen our relationship ? im not in any rush to get married or to have sex. but is it to much to ask her to express how she truly feels about me ? i dont know .. i never had a relationship befor her an all the relationships my friends have revalve around constant fighting and want of atention. often times she tells me im a broken record .. always repeating myself ... is that bad ? how can i change to be more desirable to her ? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlet me clarify a little better ... sorry i was kinda vag on my question.
when i tell her i love her .. she does reply & tells me she loves me too, also she says she loves me many times when i dont say it.
she is 22 years old & has a 4 year nursing degree in her country.
she has never asked me for money b4, even when i offer to help her finansually she says no.
she is the one that manages the family budget while her parrents live abroud in other countries makeing the money to suport them & for them all (brothers & sisters) to go to collage, she was left incharge of basically running the family in her parrents place & that can be verry stressful on her, i can understand why she would have short pasionts at times.
what i was meaning is she doesnt like to express her feelings as much as i do.
she has given me her phone number so i can call, & she seems happy whenever i call her.
she also willingly gave me her mom & dad's & brother's email adresses so i can also chat with them, i often have varry good conversations with her mom.
also i am in collage & i do go out to do things with others.
when she says im a broken record its when im always repeating myself.
i want to thank you all for your replies & suggestions.
i have calmed down quite a bit & let her have space, now she is a little more talkative to me :)
the problem was me always pushing so hard for an answer. im also not as jelous as i was befor.
i also used to throw many mantrums (male tantrums) and that made her mad alot. but when im happy & display a posative aura she also reacts posativly :)
im now takeing a step back & looking at my atitude so i can make the adjustmants i need to be & stay posative.
again.. thank you all for your replies, oppinions, & suggestions.
wish you all a happy christmas & new year :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): hey hunny, sounds to me that this girl isnmt really that interested in a relationship at the moment. altho i cud have misread this slightly as i dnt know the actual situation in detail. some woman like men are afraid of telling their emotions in case they get hurt which was a case for me a while ago. however for her to call u a broken record is that because u tell her u love her? i think if thats the case then maybe this long distance relationship needs to possible look at the future of it. wot does she want in the long run for the both of u? obviously u love this girl and its great that u are telling her that u love her but wen u dnt get it back i can understand y u wud start to feel unwanted maybe unloved back. i say ask her wot she thinks to this relationship. whether she thinks its going anywhere.as for the the annoying thing? does she tell u that ur annoying her? if so then it dosent sound like she is that into u. i know that probably isnt wot u want to hear but sometimes distances in relationships can be the make or break of them. i dnt think its possessive to get jealous of other guys talking to her but wen ur at a distance it is hard. its perfectly natural to feel jealous but as long as u dnt say she cant talk to other guys ul be fine. the other guys appear as competition to u so that y u feel jealous.i think its great that ur in no rush to have sex or get married but all in all ask her wot she wants out of this relationship. good luck hun xx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 December 2009):
 Okay, the thing is that you don't really have a girlfriend here, you have a long distance penpal, if you two have never met. I'm sorry, but what you've got built there is a fantasy in your head. She doesn't respond to you in the same way because she doesn't really consider herself in an actual relationship.
You think she doesn't truly love because I'm afraid she doesn't truly love you.
I'm worried for you that you are living your life basing things on a bunch of electrons zipping across the lines or out into space. Real life happens outside in the real world, not here staring at screens. My other worry, and this is a big one, is that she is a love scammer, and that she's 'dating' you only because she's figuring out how to get money out of you.
I want you to read this link very closely and have a long think about why it is that you feel so connected to a person who you've never met, who doesn't say "I love you" and basically tells you that you annoy and bother her often. If you were a friend of mine, I'd be dragging your butt out of the house and into the gym or at least for some walks. Fresh air, real scenery and real people. Tell your friends you need to spend some good quality time in their company. Then go plan something fun and go do it. Preferably going away over night if you can manage.
http://www.internet-love-scams.org/
http://www.internet-love-scams.org/forum/showthread.php?t=6971
Good luck, be very very cautious and please look at your situation with clear eyes. Take care.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 December 2009):
 Online romances are sort of whacked just by their very nature. How can you possibly say you are in love with someone you haven't physically met? And by the way if someone calls you a broken record , it is never a good thing. Why not try and go out on a actual date with a woman and then perhaps you will see how absolutely unsatisfying online romances are compared to the real thing.
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