A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my fiancé for eight years. And we just recently had a baby girl five and a half months ago. Things are rocky and are not the same it used to be. Were no longer happy. We rarely speak,have sex, or even show love with a kiss or a hug. Today he told me that he does not know where this relationship is going. What do I do? Do we make it work for the sake of our daughter. Idk. Plz help me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (18 November 2009):
 You have to work at it, of course. Babies do change life considerably, but it is possible to work back to what you had, just including the baby. You need to do something, though, and quick. And remember this is just the start of her little life - she will become more and more lovable as time goes on. The first 18 months are the most difficult for your relationship.
Talk to your guy. Talk about this. Maybe see a counsellor. Do something. It's worth it.
A
female
reader, well-help +, writes (18 November 2009):
 as a child my parents split up, my mum and dad was probs like you when i was a baby, as i got older it got alot worse my dad is a alcoholic my mum tryed to kill him and kill herself and one night when he was really drunk he tryed to strangle her thats when they split up i hated every moment when he lived in our house i would sit at the top of the stairs crying i was so scared of what was going to happen all the time im now 15 and my dad has just gone away to go on a detox andi guess things are finally looking up
so as you can see i've had a pretty troubled life but to ne honest i think it's made me a better person i dont go out drinking on the streets i dont dress like a 'slut' liek people my age now i've still not had my first kiss when my friend has had sex and i really do try my best and you know what maybe if you and your husband had a break for a while you could try again soon but theres no point getting to the point like my mum and dad did they was just normal people no one wanted any of this to happen but they are both happy now if i was you id try with the relationship see if you can work on it and if it doesnt work just take a break from each other and try again after .. :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): Yes- make it work for the sake of your kid. If she doesnt have a stable father figure she'll likely spend her life chasing the approval of men.
You guys blew cold; there is nothing to say that your relationship might blow hot again eventually if you treat each other with respect.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): Babies change how things are. Often there is not enough time for couples to be a couple. Take care of YOUR needs too, not only the baby's. If you dont, your relationship might fall apart and you will not be able to be the best mom you can be for your baby. There are many articles on this, did you read anything about what to expect after having a child?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 November 2009):
You need to talk to him urgently. He's at least said something, which means he's worried too. I think the birth of your daughter has probably taken up your time lately, so maybe you're not as close as you once were. It would be a shame if you didn't speak or get help, because this is probably something that can be saved. Tell your fiance you're worried too, and would at least try to get help for the sake of your daughter. I'm sure if you just talk about what's happening, you'll be able to fix it.
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