Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): well I understand that to an extent. alot of people dnt care for marriage but it's usually for reasons far as commitment, trust etc.. issues. you seem to not have those problems tho. I would talk to her about it and see why marriage means so much to her!! you never know u may see it different through her eyes and have a change of heart. you said you really love her and I believe you do because you're writing about it. nobody should change anybody but just known her reasons of needing that so much you may just not mind marriage..my advice will never be to do something you dnt want to do just because someone else wants you too, but i do feel you need to knw exactly what it means to her and then re-evaluate what it can mean to you if u considered it...hope that helps..
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female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (21 November 2010):
 Go ahead and marry her. It will make her really happy and it honestly will not change your life like that. The Marriage Police are not gonna come to your door and shackle you with leg irons. You'll have a party and save some money on your taxes, that's all.
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male
reader, hiro06 +, writes (21 November 2010):
ok I agree with you on the marriage point. Marriage has nothing to do with the connection between the two people share. Hey, 80% of all marriages fail anyways, but look at it from her prespective. All girls dream of there first wedding and the whole prince charming fairytale happy ending right. So if she wants the wedding why not give it to her. If you dont you may lose her in the end. She probable thinks I have been with this man for 11 years have two kids by him, but he wont marry why? Thats what she is think and trust me man that argument will always come up and it wont go away unless she leaves of course, which will be the end result. She will feel like she is ruining her live by stay with someone that wont commit. Now look at the benefits of being married. Tax breaks, you get your partners retirement and social security with they die before you. If in some type of medical condition they make all medical decision for you if unable to speak etc. There is a lot of benefits to getting married google it. Sorry bubby this is one battle you will most definitely lose there is no way around this one, but go ahead and try you will lose her in the end.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): hmmm if you haven't married her in the last 11 years you been together, you never will. && It must be for a reason.
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male
reader, chelegolden  +, writes (21 November 2010):
chelegolden is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't want to marry her because marriage has never been anything i have been interested in or anything important to me. I know i want to spend the rest of my life with her because i love her and couldn't imagine being without her well i can but when i think about it i get all sad
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): Logically I follow you here and it seems your heart is in the right place too my man. Go for it and wish you and your future wife all the best. Something rare you have there for sure :)
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female
reader, smiliek +, writes (21 November 2010):
 why not? You are already in a de facto relationship, marriage is just telling the world what you just told us. You love her and want her for the rest of your life. Ideally after you make that next step, nothing changes. Although i know i felt even closer to my hubby. We already lived together and nothing changed but it felt like more of a commitment and more feelings. If you're happy i say go for it
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 November 2010):
 Yeppers, you should. In practice, you said "I do" long ago.
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female
reader, unicornmagic76 +, writes (21 November 2010):
I personally don't think you need a piece of paper to prove your committed, but if it was important to the person I love and I plan to spend the rest of my life with them, I wouldn't find any trouble taking that step. The thing is whether it is more important to you not to be married, or more important to you to be with the person you love. I am neither for or against marriage, it doesn't bother me either way. If you have no serious aversion to marriage and you were just never interested in it, then I would do it for the one I love. In the end though you have to be ok with either decision and the consequences they may have. I hope this helps and I hope that everything works out for you. All the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): the question is why don't you want to marry her but know u want to spend the rest of ur life with her? answer that then I can add advice i think will help you..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): Yes I do think you should get married, you say you love her and want to spend the rest of life with her. I am a true believer in family and you already have children. I think getting married will enhance the love you have for her and your children. Good Luck
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male
reader, Chris-toph  +, writes (21 November 2010):
I would say do what makes you and your GF the most happy. I would say go for it if you want to. Though I think that there are couples out there in the world who have children together and spend their whole life together. What ever you decide, I am all for.
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female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (21 November 2010):
 "I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her." I think you answered your own question.
Eleven years? Sounds like you two are already committed and all your missing is the rings and the marriage certificate. If you want to spend the rest of your life with this woman, then do it.
Marriage is a little more permanent than just a "committed relationship" and every woman wants that. If you want to spend the rest of your life with her, then marry her and show her that you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Good luck and congratulations.
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