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female
,
anonymous
writes: I'v just finished school and I'v been attracted to my Art teacher (34 years old and not married or in a realtionship) for 3 years. At our school valatictory dinner (which is a leaving dinner for students, parents and teachers before leaving exams) I ened up back at his apartment and we slept together. I'm now 18 and about to start uni and hes still going to stay on at my old school teaching. All though exams and holidays before exams we were sleeping together and now we both want to start an open realtionship together but I'm to scared he'll lose his job if the school found out about us. I'v never been in love before but I do feel asthough this is more or crush or lust thing but do you think i should let this out in the open. Should i try and convince him to change schools or what? I haven't told any of my friends about us becuase i care about his welfare to much and i feel quite stuck with only this web site to turn to.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): if he changes school what are the odds that ppl will know that he was your former teacher. i think changing schools is a good idea. it's more safer having him switch school than stay in the same school that he is teaching in right now. you guys are still together in this relationship, so just choose the better route, which is making him change schools.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006):
How very Mark Foley of him.
Anyway you need actual profressional advice for him.
There is a legal component and a professional conduct component. If people realize that he hooks up with ex-students the minute they can technically be bonked that will not reflect very well on his professionalism, and frankly what school would want him? There is a liability issue. Him switching schools just reduces the likelihood of someone finding out what is going on, not the impact on his status when it does come out.
The teachers union probably has a legal staff that can advise you. Judging by these message boards, their members have been quite busy bagging students. He may have legal exposure- he was in a fidicuary role at the school or might have signed a Code of Conduct. You'll want to investigate if going public means that he may be defacto unemployable.
I dont see much point in going public and you will want to remain discrete until you at least know what the ramifications are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): Hi im in exactly the same situation as u!! Only im 18 n my boyfriend/ex teacher is 44. Ive started a relationship with him since leavin school but i havent told any of my mates or parents as i think he would be sacked!! Im at uni so he come down n stays wiv me evry weekend n were very happy 2gether. The only ppl that know bout him are the 1s at my uni, they dont have a problem wiv the age difference bt dnt no that he used to be my teacher cos i think that there is a certain amount of time that you have to wait before a teacher may date an ex pupil. Hope this helps a bit x
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A
female
reader, Adelaide +, writes (15 November 2006):
 Firstly,
I would take the time to sit down and talk to him, find out how this could potentially affect his job/welfare
Unfortunately, I am not an expert in this field. However, it appears to me that you are both mature adults and are both consenting so what harm are you doing?
are you in a position to discuss this with a family member? or could you possibly confide in a friend that does not know him?
don't bottle all this up! I personally feel that your art teacher knows how he should conduct himself in this situation, he will have a contract of employment and in this I would imagine there will be rules and regulations concerning relationships with students and ultimately he is the best person to speak to!
if you feel you cannot broach this subject nor speak to him directly about this why not send him a letter explaining your concerns.
I do hope that things work out for you keep me updated
Good Luck and Kindest Regards
Adelaide
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A
male
reader, jack23 +, writes (15 November 2006):
 I believe that weather its the same school or another school, if it is found out about and action is taken then he will no longer be able to teach (dont take my word on this one). You should sit down with him and discuss your concerns with him, the you can both make a decission on the best action to take. Find out his intensions and how far he is expectant of the relationship to go, is it really worth telling the world?
It is also worth considering what you will tell family and friends, as they will be most affected by the news.
Hope all goes well :)
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