A
female
age
36-40,
*cegal
writes:My boyfriend and I broke up just recently. It is not due to a character mismatch or betrayal or anything. It is because of differences in religion which is why we are finding it very hard to let go. Should we remain as friends or should I totally ignore him? He wants for us to remain as friends. But I think we shouldn't remain as friends as it will make it more difficult to let go. What makes it even more difficult is he is my colleague, I see him everyday and I don't know how to deal with it.I am also trying to not think too much about the breakup by keeping myself real busy with work.
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female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (22 May 2012):
 You can be friends which means you are cordial to each other, you can be friendly but that doesn't mean you still go out to lunch, tell each other all your problems, or hang out after work. Since you have to work together it would be best to simply be professional; "Good morning Bob how are you?"....but nothing deeper. It will be too hard to move on if you start hanging out together, plus if you meet someone new they will not appreciate the coziness of your relationship with your ex. It'll be a problem and prevent you from moving on. Good luck.
A
female
reader, wordwhale  +, writes (21 May 2012):
Give yourself some time and then reconnect as a friend. I am friends (not super close but friendly and civil) with two of my exes. We'll talk every now and then but don't hang out. With one we're actually working on a business venture together. It all depends on your personality and his. It's probably not for everyone but if you're open minded and easy going, it can be worth while.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2012): Don not spend time with him..do not go out with him..take time for yourself.
Listen: The religion and culture are very STRONG and that wont let it go...friends or not friends he had make you clear about it. Do not waist your time.
Move on..
nice.. polite..civil. thats it.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (21 May 2012):
 Maybe give yourselves time to get some space and get over each other, then re-evaluate the situation. It's not a good idea to be best friends, ie hanging out daily, with someone you still have feelings for. It will mess with your head. Wait until your feelings fade and then maybe you could hang out. I have kept in touch with exs. I occasionally meet up with them, maybe once or twice a year when they are in town, or on nights out if they are friends or friends. But they are not my best friends. That part is over. But, there are some couples who have split and stayed close friends. So just see how you feel, it might work out. Spend time apart first to gain perspective. Tell him that you would consider being friends at some point, but that you think you both need space to get over the residual feelings from the relationship.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, mcastillo +, writes (21 May 2012):
Although you didn't have a painful stimulus to end your relationship, it HAS ended.
Remaining friends makes it increasingly difficult for both of you to move on - can you imagine how it'd feel for either of you if the other finds another person?
Remain civil and polite, but a friendship would hamper the "moving on" process.
Keep busy with other things, as it seems like you already are. And take some time to be a little "selfish." You're no longer in a relationship, so you can have some "me-time" and develop yourself even more.
Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 May 2012):
 I have never found it worthwhile to remain friends with an ex. Friendly yes. Civil yes. Polite, yes.. but actual FRIENDS? no....
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A
male
reader, MrWombat  +, writes (21 May 2012):
 Tricky.
Have you considered that he might be right and you wrong about God? It's not something that religious people often think to ask, so I thought I'd throw it out there.
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