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age
51-59,
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writes: My boyfriend says he loves me a lot and is extremely happy, but does not want marriage very soon, encouraged me to move closer to my job, which is an hour away from the town we both live in right now, and talks about how he'd like his future home to be, using "I, me, mine" instead of "ours, us, we". We've been together a year. Marriage talk has been an off limit subject since the first of the year. Should I write this relationship off soon or continue waiting, with the possibility he will never be ready. It upsets me that he'd be okay with me moving away. Now this wouldn't prohibit us from spending the same amount of time together, but don't know how long to wait before I say, where is this going, are we moving forward? I think after a year and a half maybe. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): I would split up. It doesn't sound like he wants to commit and encouraging you to be further away sounds like that would suit him, take the pressure off him and leave him with the space he demands. If you take control of this situation and end it and tell him why... then he is faced with a choice. He changes his approach and realises he will lose you, or continues his lonely attitude to life and lets you move on. I don't think you have much choice but to force the issue - at least that way you will know his real feelings.
A
male
reader, Boombadaboom  +, writes (17 February 2010):
 from what you describe it doesn't seem it will go forward too much. You'll have to take some action to ruffle up some stuff so you can make a better decision.
If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. Always trust your gut.
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A
female
reader, Ria1  +, writes (16 February 2010):
He seems very hard to work out your boyfriend, I think you should try a cure this with a chat, and just ask him how he feels, and also ask him if he sees a future with you! Marriage is a big thing so, it might be, he's happy how it is at the moment which is not a bad thing! If your having doubts its prob best to do something about it now, theres no point in letting it drag!
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