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female
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anonymous
writes: my husband spends hours several nights a week having MSN conversations with an old girlfriend, they also TXT each other most days. I'm not happy but he says I have nothing to worry about. Should I be worried
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2006): Thanks for the great responses which are on the whole very helpful. My hubby is very open about it happening, well the MSN ing anyway, so have not found out about it through snooping. It just having a third person in our marriage whom he shares most things with that bugs and upsets me. She lives along way away so know nothing is going on but feel somewhat hurt that he needs contact with her so much
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2006): Should you be worried? You 'sound' pretty worried to me. [cough] Anyway, talk to your husband about it. What can you do really? Leave him? Wow, today's marriages are so frail. Makes me so sick sometimes to read some of the postings on DearCupid.org [throws arms in the air] WHY?!?!
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A
male
reader, Andy J +, writes (21 February 2006):
 If you found out from snooping then you have every reason to be angry and annoyed. If you found out from him, then to be fair you still have ever reason to be angry and annoyed.If my (just turned x fiance) was doing that i wouldnt be to happy and i ask her why, why so much, cant you talk to me and / or whats so special about her?
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A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (21 February 2006):
 I would be quite anxious and hurt if my husband was doing this ( I'm not married by the way!) To sit and have long MSN converstaions and texting every day I would definatly be worried. Do you trust him? Would he be doing anything beind your back? Either way you should take some action because this situation seems a bit dodgy! Try confronting him, you could show him this website and the question you posted along with the answers you have received. I feel for you because you want to trust your husband and he says its nothing to worry about so he must've left you quite confused!? You HAVE to decide with what you are comfortable with and what your not and STAND your ground. How would he react or feel if it was the other way round and you were liasing with an ex-boyfriend like this!? Do you get to speak to her or is she hidden away from you? If she is hidden away from you, ask yourself why!? If she speaks to you how does she act towards you in comparison to how she acts towards your husband?I hope you can come out of this situation with you and your husband being happy and the ex well out of the picture, sounds like she is intruding on your happiness. Keep us posted on how it goes, good luck love x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2006): Is he being open about it or doing it in secret? Are you only finding out because you are snooping? I wouldnt necessarily worry. I was married for 5 years and am still good friends with my ex. I dont love him but we get on well so I dont see the problem with the occasional coffee and I have gone to him for advice etc. We would text regularly if his new girlfriend allowed it. I dont think it definitely means something is going on or is going to happen.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (21 February 2006):
 Yes, you should because she is an ex, it is upsetting you and so he should stop.
I would be livid and would not have let it go on for this long it is like him having two women on the go, no it is not healthy and will cause problems down the line.
Give him an ultimatum and mean what you say.
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