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male
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anonymous
writes: I was with my girlfriend for 4 years, but split up 3 weeks ago. I was the one to suggest it, then after a week I realized how much I loved her and really wanted her back. So I told her this, but she said it doesn't feel right to her. After some tears, I decided to try and move on as best I could, although it was very hard and I missed her like mad. For a couple of weeks, I still texted her telling her how much I loved her and that I wished that we could make it work. After no joy, I stopped because I thought I'd be getting on her nerves. Then she started texting me asking what I was up to, who I was with, where I was going, with "love you lots" and "kisses" on the end. So I asked again, "could we give it another go?" She says the same thing, doesn't feel right for her at the moment and not sure if it ever will. I'm confused!! Can anyone help me?? Should I wait and hope we`ll be ok? Or try and forget and move on?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): I'm glad I came across this post, it makes me realize that there are a lot of people going through the same thing that I am. It also makes me realize that I can move on and if I have to, find another great relationship in the future.My story--with a girl for 6 years, I propsed, she accepted, about two years ago. We have had a lot of ups and downs, and they're extreme ups and downs. Recently I told her to move out of my house because of her drinking habits. She moved into her sister's house and we would see eachother on the weekends and talk online everyday.She is unemployed and has dropped out of college about 4 times. Last Friday while talking to her online, she told me not to get upset when I see her hanging out with other guys at a particular party that we would both be at on Saturday. I told her not to approach me at the party and then told her to get a job and a life. She broke up with me the next morning by email. 6 years and an official breakup through an email?!Where I am mentally--IT SUCKS! I can hardly sleep, I don't really eat much, and i'm in a state of dread--its more than depression. I email her, no response. When I see that she signs online I send her a messege, no response even though she is clearly online. I called her sister's and they say they haven't seen or heard from her in 5 days.Should I stop sending her messeges expressing how much i miss and care about her (I send her about 6 typed messeges a day)? Is she taking tie for herself or is she really never going to talk to me again? Ladies what are your thoughts?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007): move on! let go of people who dont see your worth!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): Well bro I can tell you right now your not alone. I am going through the same thing right now. But she doesn’t want to be with me. We've been together for about 5 years and have two kids. First of all females are weird, never try to understand them. I had a ruff time with her before and she always comes crawling back. I hope its the same this time but I don't know. But I will tell you this she wont come crawling back until you stop showing interest in her. So throw the ball in her court and leave her alone. Maybe she is really really hurt that you broke up with her and scared that if you guys get back together it may happen again. That or maybe she trying to hurt your feeling now??? I really don’t know I suck right now too. Sorry GOOD LUCK BUDDY!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): the best thing to do is be friends with her..and then see where it goes from there on...however never have expectations...if you become friends but expecting it to go further it might break ur heart and get you frustrated which then eventually might cause you to break and do something stupid... If you love her and can't do without her, just be friends, but if you realise there is nothing more then friendship and you still love her then you need to take time away from her and fall out of love
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007): I think that once someone stops loving you and you are sure of it (that means proved).Move on and dont look back cuz looking back is like taking a corpse from the mortuary and connecting all that life support system hoping ur able to bring that person back to life again...If ur a good doctor it might work,but still look at all that effort ur putting,wat if the person dies again...see wat u have invested in ?..its not worth it.Sexually confident people know this..if it doesnt work,theres always someone out there...so why stress ??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2007): im actually going through that right now my bf and i have been going out for 4 years and we broke up last week today was suppose to be 5 years but anyways let her some time to see what she wants im sure she is confused too and misses you as well my bf is actually different he doesnt want me to get back with him and he broke up with me because i showed up in front of his house and surprised him he didnt like that and im asking him to give me a chance and he doesnt know so mean while i am moving on but in the same time i miss him so much. but if someone cared they will give there 100% and try to make things right.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2007): Go for it lad explain to her how you feel and express your feelings trust me.From Freedom Harrison
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): Why not give it another shot. What do you have to lose? If the love is there you two will be fine. there is a reason for everything and why it happened in the first place. Go for it and if doesnt work out this time then at least you know and you will not be left wondering what if. Maybe it will work out and you two were just meant to be. Just learn from what happened before that made it get to a point of splitting in the first place. I wish you guys a lot of love and happiness..Good luck and take care. I hope you go for it!
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male
reader, malaysianfeet +, writes (25 January 2006):
4 years and then it was over 3 weeks ago. You split from her.The manly thing to do about it is not to have gone back to her. Why do you think its your prerogative to split and 'un'split yourself? She was hurt badly, man. Now that you went back to stoke the dying embers, she is getting her revenge on you. You dont know that its dangerous to play with dying embers? Now she's going to bug you. Knowing that you dont want anyone else, she's going to taunt you with the imaginary woman in your life- who doesnt exist.And this haunting you. Please grow up. A split is a split. If you couldnt take the relationship, at least take the split like a man. I am with you. I understand how painful it is for you. But pull the plug and let go. Maybe its instincts that were telling you to go. It pretty well sums up the kind of person. Stoking your raw wounds. Its unnecesary all this salt to the wound.Dont be a half monk. Be a full man.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2006): Hi, I'm currently in a similar situation...my boyfriend recently broke up with me for the stupidest reason in the world...and we both love each other so, so, so much. He says the break up might be long but it will never be forever b/c he can't last without me forever and that every future plan he has is with me...that gives me some hope..but i just can't last without him for even seconds...all he needs is his space and time...but i find it difficult to give it to him...and everytime i bring up about getting together or how i love him and hes hurting me..he gets mad and tells me he just needs time...and of course that makes me cry! So I guess the best thing to do is act like you don't care...give it time...and keep in mind that "if it's mean't to be, then you will be together in the end." Hope I helped...bye.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2006): iam in the same situation though my 2year boyforiend told me that .but he says he still loves me .i guesss just give her alittle time im sure she misses u too even though u hurt her feelings.female
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reader, communicatrix +, writes (11 January 2006):
 It sounds like neither of you have given yourselves (or each other) any real time to do some thinking and soul searching. You're clearly attached to one another, and there are obviously feelings between you two. Whether they're healthy is very hard to ascertain. My guess? No.
Some reflection is probably in order here. Be kind, but be firm. Tell the truth: your heart sings at the mere thought that she might want to reconnect, yet you are confused and feel somewhat rejected because she cannot commit.
Ask for some time. A big hunk of it: a month! Three months! Then let that time pass and do its thing, with no contact between you.
My guess is that if you both abide by those rules, the answer, one way or another, of what is best for you both will become very clear.
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female
reader, lostgirl04  +, writes (11 January 2006):
 Wow, I'm sorry your going through this. I think you should tell your ex that she is hurting you with her mixed messages. If she doesn't want to be with you right now, you should ask her why, ask her what the problem is, maybe you guys can fix it. But if she is still set on not getting back together then I think you should try moving on once again. This time, no texting or calling her. Explain to her that you'll contact her when your ready to talk because talking to her now is making it harder for you to move on. Tell her to please not contact you so that you can heal. If she cares for you, and it seems that she does, she will understand and give you your space. Give yourself atleast a week or two before you contact her again. Give yourself as long as you think you need. Hopefully this space will help you to feel better and it will also give her time to think about things and her feelings as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2006): Wow, well, I don't know the background, why you split up or what kind of a relationship it was.
I think if you really want her back and she's really what you want then stick with it. Keep telling her or better still, may be ask her! Does she want some space? Explain what you want and why and ask her to come back to you with what she wants and why. Come to a conclusion asap because it's not fair on either of you to be left hanging. If she says she's angry/upset with you for dumping her then may be she just wants some space, or may be she wants some kind of assurance that this trust won't be broken again.
Communication is paramount! So please keep talking!
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