A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So here it is guys. I have been talking over the phone with this guy for a few years now and I have just recently realized how much I care about him but what can I do? we live 5 1/2 hours away from each other and to top it off I've never seen him in flesh! Should I try to start the relationship or just wait until we both actually can be around one another? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): The first night we ever talked was on the phone.Yes we met online, and no he's not 52 he's 21, and sounds like a little kid lol. But we have never have met in person. Because neither one of us has the funds. We both would like to meet very much. but I have a baby and he goes to school. So there are more reasons on why we can't just take off and meet in the middle.We've both got things going on right now, but we have talked about trying to get together when he finishes school
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Ok the first night we ever talked was on the phone.Yes we met online, and no he's not 52. Because he's 21 and sounds like a little kid lol, but we have never met in person, because neither one of us has the funds.We both would like to meet very much, but I have a baby and he goes to school. So there are more reasons why we can't meet by just taking off and meeting in the middle.We've both got things going on right now, but we have talked about trying to get together, when he finishes school.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Don't allow the negative replies discourage you. My husband and I living proof that internet love is alive. He and I met on an internet dating network 7 years ago and got engaged before we met in person. Both of us were divorced from bad marriages. I was an abused wife for 12 years and a single mother of 3 but my current husband gave me something in the 2.5 years that we talked on the internet and on the phone that my ex husband never did in the 15 years I knew him.My current husband and I were more interested in an emotional connection than a physical once which is why neither of us exchanged pictures before meeting face to face.If I had to do it all over I would, because our love wasn't built on shallowness but on a meshing of inner parts.The way we first met is the most romantic experience either of us had experienced. I was living in Florida and him in Connecticut. We set a date, leased an apartment in Delaware where we would start an actual real-time life together. He didn't have a vehicle so caught a bus to Delaware and checked into a hotel the night before we were to meet. I loaded up my old rusty Ford and set off to Delaware with as much as could fit in the rear. The day we met up, he arrived to the apartment first and when I arrived I gave a signal knock so he could blindfold himself with a navy bandanna. I did the same with a pink bandanna before entering. It was somewhat chaotic trying to find one another since our eyes were covered but eventually we managed and boy o boy when we got hole of one another's hands we went straight for the kiss. It was warm, hot, deep, long, long over due and the most passionate kiss either of us had ever experienced. Eventually after we forced ourselves away for the next memorable moment, we counted to three and took our bandannas off at the same time. I was heavy-set, redheaded and he was shorter, black haired slightly balding on top with a long pony tail but handsome ass hell. It was falling in love all over with each other but that time in sight.I love my husband more and more each day. We are inseparable. I encourage my daughters to go internet dating, because it has the advantage of keeping out the superficial like looks, money, impressing with dates.If you are comfortable and moved by your internet love than you follow your heart but be safe because there is a lot of risk that comes with it. Not every person you meet on the internet is looking out for your best interest.Best wishes and success with your internet love. Sue
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A
female
reader, Mama C +, writes (18 January 2011):
...and honey, if you're under 18 - tell an adult! i'm serious! There are too many young women missing out there...have you watched the news lately?
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A
female
reader, Mama C +, writes (18 January 2011):
Honey, please get outside and take a walk. Make a friend by going to church. Take a class, eat out, join an exercise group...catch a play or a movie. If you like to read - join a book club. Shut off the computer and phone, and go out where you can meet people who share things in common with you. You don't know this guy - you only know what he tells you and you can't verify any of it unless you meet him and know him for awhile...see how people react toward him. And at this point i would NOT want to meet him. The fact that he kept this relationship behind phone & computer for years is pretty scary and there's got to be a reason behind it... His problems and/or social fears may be too complex for you to help him with. Or he may be married. Or you may be married. In any way that you look at this - it's not healthy for you, sweetie. You gotta take care of yourself! Lotsa love to you!
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A
female
reader, TexInTheCity +, writes (18 January 2011):
Hey, how old is this guy? And how old were you when you started talking on the phone? Itd be really creepy if he was like 52 and liked girls really young. That would be seriously weird. And if he lives so far away, how did you meet up in the first place? I mean, what if he's just like a big faker who actually has a wife and kids?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): I am surprised you would find talking on the phone a relationship or even think a boy his age would want a relationship like that. The two of you have never even met and I'd be very suspicious if he agreed to this. More than likely he would only agree so you would still like him and he would just see who he wanted and not tell you. Why do you think you'd ever see him if you haven't for years?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Sometimes I am amazed at what I read on DC, and this is a prime example. You have been talking for ' years' to a guy on the phone, you've never seen in the flesh, and you ask should you start a relationship or wait until you can be around one another???
You live 5 1/2 hours apart, you are both I presume the same age, or thereabouts, and again I repeat, you ask about a relationship.
You must have met this guy I presume online, no other way, so what do you know about him, NOT what he tells you, but what you actually know, fact. Why aren't you forming healthy relationships with guys your own age who are within the vicinity of where you live, instead of behind a computer screen and phone. This is the internet being used for all the reasons that make it un-healthy, it's wonderful tool to add, and enhance your life, but not as a way of creating relationships that are almost impossible from the start to ever get off the ground.
There are pages of questions like yours on DC about distant virtual connections, they are not relationships, and as tough as this is, harsh, direct, people cannot avoid reality eventually taking over, and for you, it's just beginning to dawn, that your 'YEARS' of contact, are not surfacing as anything more, as you don't mention how he is planning on moving to you, or you to him. You may not like what you're reading, but all I'm doing is making you face the 'reality of your situation' and if it weren't reality, you wouldn't be on DC asking this question.
My answer merely confirms you need to start living your life in the area where you live. This offers you a situation of meeting guys naturally, and building a relationship, dating, and enjoying all that has to offer.
Please re-think your situation.
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A
female
reader, LostInMyself +, writes (18 January 2011):
 Take it easy...there is no need to rush it... take advantage of this situation to get to know him, if you are both serious, first see what is the chance of you guys being ever together...and know yourself, and if you are willing to commit and work for it . Since LDRs are VERY hard work. So first see where it goes, and how serious he is ;)
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