A
female
age
41-50,
*azzy3477
writes: why can't i move on?? im still not over our breakup we had in 2004 to 2007.. he tells me that we are gona be together forever and he said aren't you happy you could never get me to say that before.. true he never said that before during our time together 1998 to 2004 he could never say that. why can't i move on?? i been talking about marriage thinking this will cure me but even tho he said we are gona be together forever he don't wana get married... listen i still cry from time to time over that breakup that happened so long ago and i still have bad dreams. i don't want to medicate because anti depressants make me fat and trust me he won't like it, he told me once i don't look good fat...also i don't think he really knows me at all and i don't think i know him at all. and we don't talk much about the fact that im tramatized over that breakup he will just pick on me although im not sure if he is picking or being real, he says he could easily live without me and thinks i can't function without him, well i did go to work and pay bills during our breakup the only thing i didn't do was date. i do get more depressed fall and winter an cheer up spring and summer i think its becase i don't work in the winter and i use my job and overwork myself in spring an summer to avoid my boyfriend.. also we live together and i really don't have anywhere else live my parents home is a no no becase dad is a bad man. and i have bad credit and fha won't even let me buy a house. i would be homeless if we breakup so i have to stay here and work it out and not push him away. i also have 5 cats i got to feel real love and i started to rescue abandoned cats and spay them and find them homes which i gota stop doing that cause theirs really 7 in our house and i must force myself to find homes for them extra two so i dont turn into a hoareder. im not ugly either so what the heck is wrong with me??
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female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (18 January 2011):
 The first thing you need to address is your depression. Only a doctor can determine if you suffer from a chemical imbalance, so please do this immediately. I”d recommend making an appointment with a psychiatrist. Your assumption regarding antidepressants and weight gain is not entirely correct. There are antidepressants that do NOT cause weight gain... in fact, some can lead to slight weight loss. Let your doctor know that this is a major concern of yours.
Once you’ve been evaluated by a psychiatrist, you should continue counseling with your psychiatrist, or a psychologist. From personal experience, it’s best to see a psychiatrist first because psychologists cannot prescribes meds. As a teenager, I suffered from low self esteem and felt depressed. After months of counseling with a psychologist, I was finally referred to psychiatrist who prescribed an antidepressant… which made all the difference in the world! I then continued with my psychologist for weekly counseling. In addition, the medication I was prescribed caused me to lose weight… even though I didn’t need to lose any!
The issues you have regarding low self esteem and problems within your relationship are long standing. Whatever you have been doing to remedy your problems is not working. It sounds like this has been going on for years. Counselors can offer objective advice and guide you toward a happier, more productive life.
As for your cat problem… there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to help a needy animal… especially cats. I know you have the best intentions in the world and I admire your good-hearted intentions… but you do not have the financial means to do this by yourself. As hard as it may be… you need to find homes for all but 3 or 4 of your cats. Use Craigslist if you have to… but make sure you evaluate the homes they will go to. When you come across a stray cat… you need to contact the Humane Society, or another “no kill” rescue league to take the cat in. Feel free to send me an email, and I will find organizations in your area for you to contact. You don’t have to be wealthy to make a difference for these cats… offer transportation to and from vets to have them fixed… or help trap feral animals to be brought in for neutering/spaying. Your heart is in the right place, and volunteering to help these organizations will help build your self esteem, while serving a much a needed purpose.
Again… please feel free to contact me if you would like further advice regarding your animal issue. I do hope you get the help you need, so you can begin enjoying life!
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (18 January 2011):
 You are trapped by the sounds of it and the more cats you get they are trapping you even more, because you can't leave them. So You need to think about rehoming them for a start to clear the way for y our next plan. If you work, can't you get a flat and leave. You don't date but if i were you i would start to date. Start to live y our life the way you want to and if y ou really do want to make another go with your bf, or even make him sit up and take notice of you that should do the trick. There's lots of things you can do but you seem to be a bit afraid to do them. He sounds like a very controlliong man and has you eating out of his lap. You need to break free from him if you can. You will always be in his life if not because you live in the same house.
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