A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a very long history with a boy who shall be called X . You see, I've liked X as more than a friend off and on for basically my whole life, and I know there have been times when he has liked me in the same way. To give a summary, we were close friends in elementary school, lost touch in middle school, and our high school years have gotten pretty complicated.In 9th grade, we had a class together for the first time in a few years, and when we became friends again (even though we weren't close at that point), I couldn't help but like him again too.In 10th grade, somehow X and I ended up going to homecoming together since we were both in need of dates. I still liked him from 9th grade, so it was like a dream come true to go with him.Homecoming was really fun, and afterwards, we became pretty close again. All that I had ever wanted was finally falling into perfect place. After a month or two of flirtiness with no actual action, he shockingly asked out another girl. This wasn't any random girl though. This was a girl with whom I had a feud for years. This girl and I are polar opposites (trust me when I tell you that she is the most malicious, vain person I know), and I didn't even know X and she were friends. I made it clear to X that I was upset, and I think he understood why. I proceeded to cut off all ties with him, and he never even tried to apologize for leading me on or make things okay with me again. X and this horrible, horrible girl dated for six months.In 11th grade, X and the girl broke up. Even though I could tell he tried to be nice to me, I still could not bring myself to forgive him for leading me on the previous year.The beginning of 12th grade. Oh my, this was a roller coaster. By chance, I happened to hang out with X and his friends one night, and he made it clear to me that that girl he dated for so long was a mistake. He claimed to openly regret the whole relationship. He was acting flirty again, and, even though I should've known better, I began to like him AGAIN. Our flirtiness (without any real action) happened just as it did in 10th grade. He asked me to homecoming, and for a few weeks, I thought, once again, that things were finally falling into place. For those few weeks, he was chivalrous, charming, and sweet. Then came the mixed signals. He started to randomly act rude, stop responding to my texts, and act cold towards me. But he would balance this behavior with the a lot of flirtiness. For weeks, I teetered back and forth between infatuation for him and an extreme hatred for being so careless with my heart. After the bad started to outfrequent the good, I decided to protect myself and vowed that I wouldn't fall for him ever again, which brings us up to now.Now things are all weird. I dread having to see him for hours on a daily basis at school. Neither of us is flirty anymore, but we don't really talk as friends either. Everything we say to each other is in an attempt to seem normal, but there's a sense of caution in every word chosen. There's a frustrating tension between us that I don't know how to fix. We were so close, and we're both fully aware of our history, which makes it all-the-more uncomfortable. Am I right to completely give up on all hope of a relationship? He has been just too inconsiderate of my emotions, right? Should I try to mend our friendship or leave him altogether in fear of falling for him again? Finally, would it be best to have a good, long heart-to-heart where we could both lay all our cards on the table and finally end all confusion?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone! I don't think I can confront him without everything becoming more tense, so I'm just going to leave the situation altogether without any hope for anything between us ever happening. I've decided that he's not worth all the time I spend worrying about him! I am soooooo over it.
A
female
reader, MeShell +, writes (29 October 2011):
 This is hard for me to reply to, but bear with me please. I've had a similar experience, except for him being overly rude to me he pretended like everything was normal. Trust me I would have loved the overly rude side better. You like this X, but don't want to like him because he broke your heart and lets face the truth. Even though you probably wont admit to it, but this question proves it: You still like him. Maybe not as strongly, but it's there. I think if you really feel as troubled about this as you let on you need to talk to him. Find out why he is doing this. Make sure it's just you and him. Not in front of his friends either. That will go up in flames. Trust me. Guys are totally different in front of their friends. Talk to him and don't let him get out of the conversation until he shares his side too. You need answers and you deserve them. Playing with a girls heart for your own amusement is just wrong. Also don't judge his explanation until you've heard the wrong thing. Just stand their and voice your opinions after he's done. Honestly? He could have a somewhat good reason, but you'll have to see. I give you much luck and if you ever need to talk to someone or just vent. I'm here. And tell me how it goes if your okay with it. Good luck! :)
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A
female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (29 October 2011):
 It's a hard situation, but you may want to sit down and have a heart to heart and just lay it all out, and if nothing happens then just walk away. That way you won't be wondering "what if". Maybe once everything is out in the open he can be honest with you and tell you where you really do stand with him. If the heart to heart doesn't work with him, then at least you have said what you needed to say and you can move on and find someone else. Good luck, I hope it helps.
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