A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok I'll try and make this quick. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We've been happy throughout most of those years, but of course have had our downs too. He is a year and a half younger than me and I can definitely feel the difference in maturity when we are disagreeing. He has issues with controling his emotions and its hard to see eye to eye with him when we're fighting. On the side. I have had a best guy friend for about 5 years. He left to the army about 3 years ago and back then I felt a real connection but we were "just friends". Now he has confessed he felt it too so we're kind of opening up to the idea of being in love. Now, my boyfriend and I are just not the same. Idk if I feel the same way about him anymore. He stresses me out most days and I just don't know if want to be with him anymore but I'm so used to being with him its hard to break up. We have before and he uses the tactic of getting another girl to get me back. So I feel like I wont be strong enough if I DID end up leaving him. Army boy is visiting and wants to spend time with me. So I feel really stuck. Should I try to work things out with my boyfriend of 2 years? Or move on and see if me and my friend have any kind of spark together?
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female
reader, BadAsh6705 +, writes (24 August 2009):
 Hi, I have recently found myself in a similar situation as well...I have been with my boyfriend almost 2 years and we live together, but I still keep in touch with a "friend" of mine who I have always been attracted to although we have never been involved romantically. I am almost positive that the feelings are reciprocated, but he also has a girlfriend, so it is hard to tell and I don't want to bring it up since we are both involved with other people.
They way I see it, I know we will stay friends and if our relationships don't work out then who knows? Maybe one day we will both be single and see what happens, but I think it would be very selfish to ruin 2 relationships, so for now I am happy with being friends.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009): I cant really give you any advice, as this happend to me two months ago, and i came on here asking for advice but in my head, id already made up my mind.
I had been wih my boyfriend for two years exactly, when i met someone new. I suddenly started convincing myself that the relationship was poor, and that he was immature and that the only reason i was with him was because i was used to having him around.
So we finished, and me and this new man tried to make it work. After aout 3 weeks i realised how much of a connection me and my boyfriend had, sexually and mentally. Unfortunatly it took us ending our two year relationship, and me trying with another man to realise this.
Ive been lucky enough to get my boyfriend back, weve started again fresh, and i thank god everyday that he's forgiven me nad that he didnt go find another female. Someone better.
So just think this threw properly, and think about how many people are you going to hurt? I hurt my boyfriend, another boy and myself. It wasnt a nice time.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (24 August 2009):
 First of all, no seeing army boy while things are still going with your boyfriend. If you choose to see him, you must end your relationship first.
If your stress didn't begin until this army guy came back into your life. It's not your boyfriend that stresses you out, it's created by the situation you're in, and the conflict produced in your mind due to this situation.
You're right about the maturity at your age group. I'm worried about when you argue with someone if it's to come to a conclusion or if it's for them to view it from your end and consider themselves to be wrong and you to be right.
You run a risk seeing if you have a spark with this other guy that if not, you'll be alone, and your boyfriend now will not be there if you decided you'd made a mistake. This is exploration that you need to decide for yourself, but be honest with your boyfriend. Stop stringing him a long if you're conflicted.
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