A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I hooked up with a boy two years younger than me...(I am fifteen.) He was really sweet and passionate, but I just found out about his more-than-unusual past. My mum approached me about it, and let me know that he'd spent quite a bit of time in juvi for threatening to kill anyone who messed with him, and he ended up killing one person. He's also gone to a doctor for anger management. Up until now I would've never guessed that he had a few skeletons in the closet. I don't know if the doctor changed his personality, but the fact that he hid this from me is mindblowing. Plus, his mum told me that he'd been practicing something that I won't name, but it was going against typical religion in any form. He's much different now that he's gotten help for those past issues, but I'm not sure I can trust him. Should I? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): The fact of the matter is that this boy is a classic sociopath or psychopath. He cannot be rehabed or changed and the fact of the matter his acts as a juvenile should confirm to everyone, he was born this way.The person who suggested you not lose your trust in him because he now shows remorse is grossly inexperienced with psychopaths and the permanence of their pathology. His brain is hardwired, he will always be a danger to those he is close to.Have nothing to do with him anymore, chosing to stay his friend or be involved with them will result in inevitable harm to you, even if it is non violent, the emotional and psychological harm these people do to others is horrendous, and they appear normal because they are skilled at manipulation and finding trusting, vulnerable people that they can mind control.He is a dangerous person. I am American and the fact that he killed someone as a juvenile kept him out of prison because someone screwed up and didn't put him on trial as an adult....he's probably hiding over there from his past.His own Mother knows him and you should listen to her.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 June 2010):
 It still does not add up. If he is American- even worse. USA take very seriously juvenile crime.
44 out 50 States embrace ,at least in theory , the "Adult Time for Adult Crime " principle. It means that for crimes like murder or violent acts deriving from gang activity, a minor can be prosecuted exactly like an adult and even get sentenced to life without parole!
Best case, it happens what happened just a week ago- a 13 y.o. murderer in Wayne County, Michigan, has been sentenced to detention in a juvenile facility until he is 21, and then he will be re-evaluated for possible release if he has not screwed up in the meantime. ( And public opinion is pissed because thay think that 8 years is not enough ,even if he is just a boy ).
There may be the exceptional case of a boy (or girl) committing a violent crime ,who is so young that he can't even be placed in a juvenile facility, and in that case I suppose they might give him back to his family under supervision of the Social Ser4vices. But you say your friend has already been in juvenile, and the killing happened after.
Therefore, if you are not bullshitting us ,- then somebody must be bullshitting you.
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (25 June 2010):
 A child killing someone? It's happened before, hasn't it? It doesn't matter where you are in the world, you've heard the stories... It is shocking, not common place, but sadly possible.
So, in the United States it is my understanding that juvenile records are sealed, as they are in Canada.
How did your mother find out? Did she hear it from this boyfriend's family, or from the "rumour mill"?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 June 2010):
Whatever happens, just end it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for replying, but you should know that this is completely true. He's American so I don't know exactly what the laws are over there. I understand it doesn't sound real, but I wouldn't be wasting my time making stories up on here.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 Yeah I'm with CindyCares... It sounds a lot like bad fiction.
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A
female
reader, HelpfulPrincess44 +, writes (24 June 2010):
Well if this is the truth... I don't think you should lose your trust in him because of his hiding his dark past from you. That's a horrible, horrible thing to happen, and, especially if he feels remorse, he isn't going to want to discuss it with anyone.If you grow closer over time, he may be able to bring himself to speak to you about it, but you must remember to be as gentle and as understanding as possible. You may also want to be a little careful around him. He may have been changed - and he may not have. But if he is someone you truly care for, and he continues to treat you and others with kindness and respect, then there is absolutely no reason to lose your trust in him or to break communication.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (24 June 2010):
You would not be making all this up, by any chance, ?...
What makes me skeptic is not the age of your friend, because sadly juvenile killers are on the rise and they get younger, and more violent, every year.
But it happens that, if he had killed somebody, in your country he would have got a "section 53 ",meaning he would have been placed either in a "younger offender institution " or a "secure accomodation " ( a sort of sheltered house where he can be assisted by psychiatrists and counselors,, and closely monitored in his path to rehabilitation ) for a matter of several YEARS ( and rightly so, in his own interest ).
They would not let him go home to his mom to happily play Satanist or vooddo or whatever he is doing according to you. -
So, I t5hi8nk that either you are telling us your fantasies, or you have not got the strsaight dope about what it has really happened and when.
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (24 June 2010):
I probably wouldn't tell someone I killed someone else. I have to wonder how your mother found out, as his record would have to be closed.
And I would be wondering in a far away and safe place.
Get out. The instinct to kill is not "overcome" by anger management alone.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 June 2010):
There is a glaring Red flag here amongst the others. HIS OWN mother has come clean about what he has been up to. And it's obviously disturbing. He's killed someone, has been in juvi. Now, you're a teenager, and like all teenagers you may have a certain naivety when it comes to believing he has changed. I don't mean that as an insult, I mean it because there are glaring signs here that if he snaps with you, you're going to end up dead. I'm not saying that he's not changed. Maybe he has. That would be great. But it would be rather like staying with a lion that has been tranquillized or something. At some point, something could push him over the edge. And that's it. His own mother has warned you. HIS OWN MOTHER. I'm thinking that you should gently bow out of his life.
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A
female
reader, england_rock_chic +, writes (24 June 2010):
im guessing he's 13?
that means he's been through quite a lot throughout his 13 years.
BUT the fact he managed to KILL somebody AND not tell you,
thats just weird, get out of there while you can. If he's not going to tell you that (ok I mean not the first date kinda talk but ya know what i mean) then how the hell will you trust him?
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