A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am having trouble trusting my man, before i was with him, he was in a relationship,and also seeing somebody else. when i got with him over a year ago he had ended his relationship, and told me he was no longer seeing the other girl. later i found out that wasnt the case, not only was she in his car, he went to her house, she went to his house, they were at one point constantly texting each other this has now stopped after we had a huge arguement. the other night when we got into bed he recieved a text from her asking how he was, i asked him to not reply to it and delete it and any other messages he recives from her. he said that was fine and if she texts now he tells me, even though i dont ask him to. i know she has tried contacting him through face book and his family members, he always tells me if thats the case, i want to believe him about this, in other areas of our lives i trust him. what do you guys think
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female
reader, Lisa1970 +, writes (12 April 2010):
HiFirstly are you absolutely sure that he is not responding to any of these text's and face book messages etc whilst you are not around? If he definately isn't then he needs to decide what he really wants. If you cannot trust that he is only friends with her and accept that then you need him to make a decision. You or her if his answer is you then he needs to tell her clearly that he no longer wishes to be friends with her. Change his telephone number so that she can no longer contact him this way and inform all friends and relatives that he no longer wants to know when she has contacted them. If however he decides he does still want to have some contact with her and you cannot handle that, then you need to move on. The same goes for if he is answering her messages without telling you then you need to make the same decision. Stay with him or move on. If she does not get the message and it is becoming a problem for him then he needs to look into getting some legal advice.Hope this helps. Good luck Lisa
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 April 2010):
I think in fairness to him, he has been open since you found that he was in contact with her ages before. He speaks to you when she contacts him, which means he is secretly very worried that if she sends a text that means nothing you could dump him. It will take time for you to get over him hurting you before, but I do think he is trying to be open and honest with you, so it's worth working it out.
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