A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i am 14 years old and 4 weeks pregnant. the father is 19. no one knows should i tell my mom since it was consensual? what about the dad? i have only seen him once that night. should i tell him? would he care? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MrsTetzlaff +, writes (24 December 2010):
This is not good.
Umm... First of all, be very careful what you do. His age difference is 5 years. Check the Statutory Rape guidelines in the state and make sure that you are legally in the right to be with the 19 year old or vice versa. If I were you, I would tell your parents and refuse to tell them who. I would put my baby up for adoption and move on with my life.
My husband and I are currently pregnant. I do not condone abortions, but you may consider having one. I just cannot tell you what to do, this is a personal choice dear. :-)
A
female
reader, Negotiator +, writes (23 December 2010):
Yes, dear, tell a trusted adult like a parent, grandparent, teacher, etc. The 19 y.o. Took advantage of you , even if you did consent. He is an adult and knows that you are young- and that is very unfair to you. That is why it is a crime. He may be a responsible man, but you need the help of your parents to sort this out. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, youngandrestless  +, writes (23 December 2010):
 well i cant give you an answer from you point of view but i can tell you my moms story. my mom and dad met at summer camp. my mom was 15 and my dad was 18. what started out as a fling ended up with my mom becoming pregnant. her mom was very upset but was supportive. she new that she was going to keep me, but didnt know she would tell my father or stay with him. they had a happy ending, they got married when she turned 18 and was pregnant with my younger brother. im not saying you have to do the same as my mom, or that you will marry your babys daddy. im just letting you know that its ok, it has been done before. your mom will be upset, maybe say some t hings she will regret, but your still her daughter, and she will support you whatever you decide to do. i know its scary, parents are the scariesnt thing iknow of lol. but your mom would be more hurt if you hid it from her and ended up hurting yourself than if you tell her and she can help you through this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): "Meanwhile you need to think urgently about getting an abortion."Wtf?An abortion is not the only option this girl has. Yes, she needs to tell her mom, yes she needs to inform the dad. She can raise the baby herself, or give it up for adoption. Suggesting that she haul-ass to the abortion clinic is not the correct response. She's not asking what she should do as far as the baby goes, she's asking if she needs to inform the people in her life so THEY can help her make the right decision for herself.Telling your mom and the father of the child won't be easy, but it is a necessity. Don't delay it, and don't tell them in a harsh way. You might get yelled at, she might cry, she might be livid for a while. You're in a sticky situation, but the people around you will be there for you and help you through it. The sooner the better~
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A
female
reader, FlowerChild911 +, writes (23 December 2010):
YES... you must tell your mom! Dont lie to her about any details. She may not be happy but as the previous person wrote - she will have your best interest and always there for you. You will need to tell the father also - he needs to know...he is a big boy now and needs to deal with his actions.
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A
male
reader, der_zyniker +, writes (23 December 2010):
You need to tell your mom. It will become obvious within a few months and you need to see a doctor to see if the pregnancy is going okay or not. I think that you should tell the dad since he deserves to know. It doesn't matter whether you've seen him once or 100 times. I don't know if he'll care or not since I don't know him. But the fact is that he broke the law. It doesn't matter if he had your consent or not.
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A
female
reader, lencybaby18 +, writes (23 December 2010):
Well personally I would tell my mom and if you keep the baby then you have to yell the father but if not then he has no reason to know unles he's a really nice Guy but I'd it was a one time thing then forget it you don't have to tell him anything. But for sure you have to k
Tell your mom you can't hide it .... for long.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): i can't really relate to this question but yes i think you should tell them because the longer you wait the worse its going to get, but if you tell them now and tell them you made a mistake then they will forgive you and they will try and give whatever help they can. Hope this helps
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): i would definitely tell your mom. you can't do this on your own, just make sure you are absolutely positive you are pregnant. don't wait to long, or you'll run out of options. i wouldn't tell the dad unless you trust him. i would wait until you see him again or if you feel it's right. good luck!
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A
female
reader, comeonjesusthishurtstoomuch +, writes (23 December 2010):
 they both need to know although if your mom freaks she could get him with stat rape whether you like it or not but yes tell them they deserve to know
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A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (23 December 2010):
Of course you should tell both her and him. ( He needs a head start to start running from the Police ).
Meanwhile you need to think urgently about getting an abortion.
At four weeks you can still do it thru the pill method.
Leave it any longer and it becomes more difficult from various aspects : moral / medical / psychological.
At minimum tell your Mom and discuss what to do. There is not a minute to lose. Do it now.
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A
female
reader, punkgirl14 +, writes (23 December 2010):
 okay first off. you tell the dad.. second.. you need to tell mabey your older sister (if you have one..) and she will halp u on the situation.. and i hate to say this but you need to tell your mom.. i never talk to my mom bcuz its gross and embarrassing to tell her anything.. so i dont.. but in a situation like this.. you need to tell her.. wait for the punishment but she will get you through it..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): Yes you should tell you mom. That is the first person to tell she will be hurt if you don't. She has been pregnant before and loves you. She will have your best interest at heart even if she yells and cries. Your mother will help you through this. Please tell her.
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