A
male
age
26-29,
*aughtyNathy95
writes:I really need help :/ I had sex with a condom with my girlfriend but I think the condom split! She dosent know it yet, I want to tell her but its only a matter of time before she finds out anyway, its just I think I should mention it first so it seems like I care... If she does turn out to be pregnant is abortion the right option???? Please help aunties.
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female
reader, Candid Cally  +, writes (25 November 2011):
Please READ and FOLLOW all of the instructions that come with your box of condoms. These instructions tell you how to properly put on the condom, when you must remove it, how to check for breaks, and how to discard it once used.
In the future, if your condom breaks, you should tell your partner as soon as you know. As long as it is within the first day, she may be able to take an emergency contraceptive pill which should prevent an unplanned pregnancy.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 November 2011):
 " Had a go " ?...
You are underage. She is underage ( I imagine ). You are breaking the law .
Get her pregnant and in need of an abortion, and her dad might be showing you a real proper " having a go " , - with a horse whip in his hands.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 November 2011):
 Welcome to the adult world, where you are told when you make mistakes rather than just let off with a warning. Everyone else will be told the same when making serious mistakes, such as you did. This wasn't a mild misunderstanding, this is something that could determine yours and hers fate and whether or not your lives will be changed forever. So I dare say, if you can't take it seriously then you need to be told how serious this is. Cushioning you will not make you realize the seriousness of your actions. Sex is not to be fooled around with, sex can result in pregnancies or STI's that can kill you when the condom breaks, and in the light of that it is ignorant to withhold the information.
You call it harsh, I call it opening your eyes to the hard facts of life. Don't make the mistake again to think that such things will just "pass on and be over with" on their own. If she got pregnant, or you got infected with HIV, hepatitis B, or gonorrhea, you wouldn't be so carefree about it.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (24 November 2011):
 No-one has had a go at you, maybe some were slightly harsh but nothing that didnt need to be said.
You have to understand that if you think aged 15 you are old enough to be having sex then you need to take responsibility for your own actions - and not telling your girlfriend that the condom split was a very bad decision, you should have told her right away so you could have arranged to get the morning after pill and prevent a lot of problems.
We are not being mean or trying to make you feel bad, we just want you to understand what you have done so in the future you wont do it again. Sex is a massive deal, pregnancy and STD's are very real so you need to understand that you have to take every precaution possible in order to prevent something like this happening, and if it does happen well you need to be grown up and sort it out right away, rather than waiting for a while before you get your act together and do something about it.
Out of interest, how long ago did this happen? Can your girlfriend still get the morning after pill? What are you going to do next?
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A
male
reader, naughtyNathy95 +, writes (24 November 2011):
naughtyNathy95 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I'm sorry, I told her and we r ok now.... Thanks for making me feel like crap tho, turned to u for support todo the right thing and all uv done as had ago!
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (24 November 2011):
By heavens, why are you having sex when you have no clue what you are doing??? If the condom split then you SHOULD care, not only about her but about your self too, what, you think the baby will only be HER problem to deal with?
If the condom split then you have the responsibility to TELL her, right away, not friggin' days later. How do you think she'll find out by herself in time anyway? Huh? Can she read minds? She wont find out unless she's gotten pregnant.
And here's something I pray you will remember until next time: when the condom splits the woman needs to immediately get an emergency contraceptive. If the emergency contraceptive pill is taken within 3 days after the condom split she might not get pregnant. The sooner she takes it the higher a chance of the pill being effective.
But you, caring as you are, have decided to not give her the chance to take this pill. I really hope she isn't pregnant now because it could have been so easily prevented had you just taken on the responsibility that is yours instead of being a chicken and not tell her. I'm disappointed in you. If you can't man up and take responsibility for your actions then you have no business doing grown up things like having sex.
Tell her immediately, and if 3 days (72 hours) haven't passed yet then make sure she gets an emergency contraceptive pill, immediately. This is urgent.
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A
female
reader, mammaboo +, writes (24 November 2011):
 Why wouldn,t you tell her!She needs to know its very wrong of you not to say anything.You sound like you are making all the decisions for her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2011): Of course you should tell her! If you think you are grown up enough for sex then when something like this happens you have to face up to it. What if you are telling her after 72 hours? If it is still within 8 days she can have an IUD fitted and this will prevent a pregnancy this time and in the future but she might not want such an invasive device fitted.
If this ever happens again tell her STRAGHIT AWAY!! don't leave and think about it but as soon as you take that condom off all you have to say is, " right I think the condom split" you're in the UK so she doesn't even need a doctor for the morning after pill you can pay £20 for it from the pharmacy but it is free if she sees a doctor.
And a doctor will not tell her mum, dad l, school etc... No one will know.
If you can't tell her something as important as this then maybe wait until you are more mature before having sex again. No contraception is 100%, condoms even if used correctly. Ideally if you are regularly having sex she should go on the pill and you should keep wearing a condom. That is the closest you can get to 100% safe by using both.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 November 2011):
Yes. As soon as you can. And follow all the advice that the post below has written.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (24 November 2011):
Yes - tell her as soon as you can, she needs to know in order to be able to do something about the situation. How long ago did you have sex? If you tell her within 72 hours of the incident then she can go to the doctors and get the morning after pill which would be the easiest way to deal with this situation.
But if you have left it too late then all you can do is tell her as soon as you can, and then discuss with her what you want to do next.
Abortion might not be what she wants, so you cant jump to that conclusion just yet. In my opinion for a 15 year old yes abortion is the right thing to do, neither of you are old enough to be having sex let alone raising a child. But at the end of the day you have to both come to a decision that you are both happy with, if she doesnt want an abortion then you cant force her.
All you can do now is tell her ASAP that it split, then wait until it is time for her period and see if it arrives. If it doesnt arrive then she will need to go to a doctor and get a pregnancy test. Once you have the results from that you can take it from there.
But please, for future reference - having sex at your age is illegal, there is a reason why us old folks tell you not to have sex so young and it is for this exact reason, you are not old enough or responsible enough to deal with the consequences of sex. If you do ever have sex again your girlfriend needs to be on birth control as well as using a condmom - there is a reason why you should use both methods, to prevent things like this from happening!
Please tell your girlfriend right away, it is awful that you didnt tell her right away so you are just making it worse by keeping it from her for longer.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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