A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey I met this girl and we became real close, anyway she was sexually abused when she was young by her father, I needed advice about all this and I asked my mum about it, I told her about the sexual abuse. Now I feel real guilty, shoud I tell my girlfriend, I love the girl and I dont want to hurt her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): no it will embariss her and she may not want to talk about it dont pressure her.
i was abused in the exact same way and i stil carnt bring my self to tell any1 you wont understand how sick in your own skin it makes me feel.
never laf at her 4 it no matter how mad you get and never mention it unless she wants to, ask your mum to do the same.
x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): If you dont want to hurt her, then ask her permission before you discuss her private business with others. With all due respect, you dont know who else your mum will tell and i imagine hearing what you have done will upset your gf. She was already let down by one man in her life....her father. Its up to you to prove to her that you wont ever let her down. I dont think youve made a very good start. I would tell your mum never to repeat what youve told her. And keep quiet about what youve done. Should she asks if youve spoken to anyone about what she told you, then tell her the truth. Dont lie. But until or unless she asks, you should keep your own counsel. If you have problems dealing with what she has told you, then find a helpline number and speak to someone experienced who can actually be of some help you.
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A
male
reader, spinnaker  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 It is no one else's business whose advice you seek. Besides you went with the motive to seek help on helping her, not to gossip.
Let it drop but if you really need assurances go to your mother and ask her to keep it to herself because it is a sore spot for your girlfriend
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 She shared it for your ears only .Now that you have told your mom and if you tell her about it , she will be aghast.
She will start to think that you cannot keep secrets and will not trust you anymore.
If she asked you where you got those advices,
you could tell her that you read from some books or online sites for advices. Otherwise , you don't have to tell her the source.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): I think as long as you completely trust your mum not to say anything in the future you shouldn't tell your girlfriend! Everyone needs advice sometimes! X
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A
male
reader, ulick  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 no way don't tell her! she will feel betrayed by you and probably will never be able to face you mom. Its ok you asked advice, not usre if your mom is the right person for that cause you have partner now and that is your family from now on.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 March 2010):
I don't think you need to tell her. You went to someone for advice about how to handle it, and you got it. I think it's better if you don't tell your girlfriend.
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