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Should I tell my g/f about my fetish

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 February 2012) 13 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi there. I'm a 30 year old male and have been going out with my g/f for nearly 4 year's now, we both love each other dearly, we are having our 1st child soon and I think she could be the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. The problem is though. I haven't told her about my fetish for cleaning cloths (dish cloths, soft multi purpose cloths ect.) For fear that she will think I'm weird and not feel the same about after finding out

It all started when I was about 10. I was round a friends house and his mum was in the kitchen doing the dishes, I was talking to her and winding her u about something. She called me cheeky and playfully wiped the soapy spongecloth that she had in her hand down the side of my face, the feeling of the soft soapy cloth felt amazing on my skin

It was'nt a sexual thing for me back then as I was too young to even know about the pleasures of masturbation or sex, I would just sneak a cloth into the bathroom soap it up and caress my face with it because I found the soapy wet material felt soo nice and I could'nt help but think about how nice it felt and always had the urge to do it whenever possible, it was when I hit puberty and learnt about masturbation that it became a sexual thing and I found myself getting aroused by the thought and feel of it. Since then it has became a part of my solo masturbation and I have even used mops before (all of which are clean I must point out), because the feeling of all the individual strands of cloth feels devine. It's got to a point where I struggle to get myself off unless I'm caressing my body with one.

It doesn't by any means get in the way of our sex life and my g/f can satisfy me in that department, but if she is doing the dishes or mopping the floor it often gets me wet fantasizing about her caressing my body with the soapy cloth/mop. Is this something I should tell her or would it be to weird for her to understand and maybe be something that I should keep to myself, because even I think its weird liking this, as its not a fetish I've really heard of before. But I feel bad for not telling her and feel if we are going to spend our life's together it is something she should know because it is a part of who I am

Any advice on this matter would be much appreciated

Thanks

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A female reader, malletchick76 United States +, writes (20 February 2012):

malletchick76 agony auntGood to hear :)

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (20 February 2012):

Anonymous 123 agony auntHi OP, good for you!! I'm so glad you told her and that everything worked out fine! Trust me, this will bring you guys even closer.

All the best! :)

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (20 February 2012):

Miamine agony auntThanks for your update and thanks for being brave enough to share your story. Lots of people are ashamed by things they like, and by reading your post they will be reassured that everything is all right.

Awwww... it's lovely when we get a happy ending. Blessings to you and your girlfriend.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi, Just thought I'd give an update on my situation, it was soo nice of everyone to take the time to reply so the least I can do is let you all know the outcome.

I talked to my g/f about it and she was absolutely fine with it and reassured me that it is totaly normal and it's not in anyway weird and even better, she said that she would be happy to fulfill my fantasies :-) I feel soo lucky to have such an amazing and understanding g/f. But I could'nt/would'nt of told her without all the friendly and honest advice I've received from you all.

Thanks again

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all soo much for taking the time to write a reply to my question, I've received some excellent advice that has helped me a lot and made me relise that its not such a bad thing. It is very greatly appreciated. I'm really glad I made the decision to come on this forum for help. You have all been great :)

I'm going to try and talk about it with my g/f tomorrow, as I'm working nightshift tonight

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (18 February 2012):

Honeypie agony auntNext time you take a shower with her bring a dishcloth/sponge in and tell her what you like about it.

It's not a totally weird fetish, it's a pretty "normal" one, it's actually more of a sensory fetish.

Some like FUR on their naked skin, some like SILK and well YOU like dish towels... I don't think it's a big deal for her to accept and for you to talk about :)

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (18 February 2012):

Anonymous 123 agony auntYou should tell her and trust me, you will feel much better once you do. Just show her this post that you've written, its as simple as that. Or tell her the same way that you've told us. Trust me, its not creepy or anything, its not like it hurts anybody, and if it helps better your sex life, then why not? Most people do have fetishes and while they might be aghast at the thought of letting their partner know what it is, its all just in their mind.

How do you get into the subject? simple. Just ask her if there's anything specific that turns her on, any fantasies. then tell her about yours. Dont think too much about this, just go with the flow. Trust me, yours is a perfectly harmless and non-scary fetish, you cant imagine what the most disturbing ones are!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2012):

Dude... on the scale of weird fetishes... this ranks barely a rung above shoes and women's feet.

Neither is particularly strange or off-putting.

If you were into pee (gross but frightfully common) or scat, then you would have some cause for concern.

But if you just get off by soap suds... why not shower together... believe me, that will almost ALWAYS lead to shower sex... or even have sex whilst doing the dishes or something.

Trust me, this is one of the least annoying fetishes I think I have ever seen.

Flynn 24

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks. Your responses have made me feel alot better, I was afraid of what people would think about it, as its something I've never shared with anyone so, I've never had anyone else's perspective on it, maybe I shouldn't consider it as weird but I've always felt such embarrassment about having such feeling's of arousal from dish soap and cloths and thought that if people knew that's what they would think of me. But I guess most people think that about their fetish

I can't help but feel I've left it too late to comfortably come straight out with it and tell her as I should of maybe done it a long time ago, but its took me all these years just to get the courage to ask for advice on a forum, after the great advice I've got from the responses I feel I should tell her but don't know where to start (like how to bring up the subject) I guess I'll find some way to get onto the subject

Thanks for all the helpful advice it means a lot

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A female reader, natasia United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2012):

natasia agony auntSo why don't you not present it rather creepily as a 'fetish', but tell her that it turns you on to have sex while she's doing the washing up?

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A female reader, VSAddict United States +, writes (17 February 2012):

VSAddict agony auntTell her. There's nothing wrong with it and we all have our sexual preferences. Telling her this will bring you closer together and she might be willing to help fulfill your fetish with you. If she opposes it, then the best thing would be just to keep doing it in private and not bring it up again.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (17 February 2012):

eyeswideopen agony auntSee if she's willing to taking a bath with you.

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A female reader, malletchick76 United States +, writes (17 February 2012):

malletchick76 agony auntWell I would be honest about it. Unfortunately we all have to face that test "If he/she really loves me they won't care", so try it out. Don't put into her mind that its a "weird" fetish. Cuz if you label it as weird, she might think it too. Just tell her that you have a very sensory fetish, and you love the glossy feel of soap and cloth. Who knows? Maybe it can be kinda sexy, like in the bathtub or shower if you tell her.

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