A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone I am 23 years old and I am a virgin..I have never really had any serious real relationship,I have just french kissed 2 men that's it..I was just waiting for the right man..now i'm finally in a real relationship but my boyfriend doesn't know I'm virgin,actually all my friends think I'm not(don't take me wrong or conceited but I'v had a lot of men approach me in college,in clubs,lounge,friends I'v always said no)but now I'm in love,and I 'm ready to give my V card to him,its just that I'm scared,I mean how is it going to be?what if I'm not good in bed?any tips from the sexually experienced one out here?how to I make the first experience more romantic I want to do something different!?should I tell him I'm a virgin and that I'm a little scared? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2012): make sure he is the "one" for you and that if you aren't with this guy a year from now, you can still live with the fact that you gave him your virginity. I too thought I was in love and gave mine up and he left me the next day. Reality check for me.Be sure. Talk to him, you need to tell him, if he loves you like you say he does then he should feel honored that you would want him to be your first.He'll be careful and probably walk you through the whole thing. Making love isn't a performance, there are no wrongs or rights in making love and he should know that.Good luck sweetie and be sure okay. I thought I was and I still to this day regret it.
A
male
reader, HotGeek  +, writes (12 September 2012):
Of course you have to tell him! Personally I don't really care to be the first one of any woman, it's lots of stress and little pleasure.
Surely if I ever had to do it, it's OK, but if I wasn't told, I'd be disappointed to say the least.
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A
female
reader, Elydiese  +, writes (12 September 2012):
Wow some harsh answers! you should tell him you're a virgin as it will mean you can go at your own pace and you'll probably feel better the fact he knows. If he cares about you he'll be happy to go at a pace thats comfortable for you. You should definitely tell him you're scared, but this is normal for most people. Good luck :)
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (12 September 2012):
For starters you should tell him that you are a virgin. I've heard stories of pain and others of no pain, I guess everyone is different and it doesn't hurt to be prepared with protection and lubrication. I'm actually confused why other answers are kinda giving you a hard time but don't let it get to you. Just take baby steps and have a good talk with your boyfriend about it. It'll be worse if you don't tell him, both for you and him as well as the relationship.
Good luck and wish you the best of luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2012): IF you want to do something different; how about MARRIAGE!? That would be a statement of a “real relationship” these days!? Do you think your virginity is something to trash or something to be treasured?Because of your naivety; wanting your V card swiped, after never really having any serious real relationships; it sounds more like a Qantas Frequent Flyer card that desperately needs to be swiped.However, since you are of mind to make the first experience more romantic; you’re in for a rude shock (as others have stated)!? You’re in love with being in love for the first time and he is… Well, is he really committed to you? He would of course say yes; but you on the other hand can’t even communicate with him about your virginity, and there you are thinking of swiping your V card away while he could very well just be collecting bonus points for his ego and fly away soon after!? Unfortunately, you’re thinking is, you’re in love, how it’s going to be, worried if you’re not good in bed, and feeling a little scared… In this situation, I would think wisely, by hearing what he says when you tell him to wait until you’re wedding night… Yes, I know you don’t care too wait, but let’s see his strength of character and level of commitment to you etc. In the meanwhile you’ll stand better to discover if he is worth it. Again; do you think your virginity is something to trash or something to be treasured?
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (11 September 2012):
 If you are in a committed and serious relationship where you are ready to have sex then you should be able to communicate. You definitely need to tell him you are a virgin. This is what relationships are about, talking and feeling close. I'm surprised he doesn't know already since you are both in love. That seems like a conversation that would've come up. Anyway about the first time, tell him you are a virgin and want it to be special. If he is a good guy he will do that for you. I've known many men who have for their gfs who wanted it a certain special way. You can't expect it to be perfect though. That's a problem going into sex the first time. You expect magic and the whole thing to feel amazing and romantic. For me it wasn't. It hurt. It was a mess. I cried. Nothing great about it. Luckily I waited until I was in love and had a supportive bf at the time. He held me and we talked and got past it. Of course not everyone's first time may be as awful as mine was, but it is unrealistic to expect to be "good" at it and think it will be a great time. You will basically just lay there. The more times you have sex and the better you get to know your partner's likes and dislikes, it gets better. I've been with 4 people total including my husband and every one of them was bad the first time. It's something that typically gets better when you learn more about them sexually.
I'd tell him what you like, if it's candles and music tell him so. Then plan the night out with him. Dinner, dancing, whatever it is you both love to do and makes you feel closest to him. Have him set the room and mood and there you go. Communicate with him always. If you are comfortable enough to have sex with you you damn sure should be able to talk to him openly and tell him you are a virgin and what you want.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 September 2012):
 it's not a V card.
it's not something you GIVE to someone else
it's not something someone takes from you...
It's going to suck
it always does when you wait for that special someone.
it won't be romantic... not the actual sex...
the build up might be but then the actual penetration etc.. will probably be lousy... do not expect fire works or anything spectacular....
YOU MUST tell him you are a virgin
and you should tell him you are scared
and then you can go slow over as many days or weeks as you two need to get to where you are not scared and are ready.
practice... things..
go slow...
one day we neck
then the next week we maybe pet a little
then the next week we have more petting...
move on to a bit of oral sex...
lots and lots of time.. there is no rush when it's love honey....
make sure you are well lubed and relaxed... one glass of wine or a beer can't hurt....
TALK TO HIM.... if he's THE ONE that you feel is special enough that you are ready to have sex, he should be very receptive to hearing what you are going to say... and to taking it slow...
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