A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend was married and i finished it for that reason, i was just lonely after my husband died, i have now met somebody that is single and we have been going out for 5 months and i decided not to tell him about my married ex boyfriend, we went to portugal where his family are from for a holiday and into the second day of the holiday he told me that 2 people where i work had told him that my ex boyfriend was married, he has now gone very cold on me, speaking to me sometimes in his own language, i hate to think whats he saying to me, he said that i should have told him about my ex as he thinks that he would have not started anything with me, i dont know what to say to him to tell him that it is in the past and that i would never go with a married man again, we had planned to move to a village near his family, but he told me yesterday that he wants to go alone and go for good and that i should not follow him, i have told him that i love him and told him that i did not know how or when to tell him about my married ex boyfriend, but get no answer from him, only in his language, i think that i might be pregnant, my sister thinks that i should let him go and not tell him about the baby, as she said she would help me with the baby, i think that it would be pointless in telling him as if he does not want me he doesnt want the baby, do i have to by law have to tell him about the baby, if he wants to go alone, should i let him go and forget about him.
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female
reader, SweetSmoochy  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 1)Get tested to make sure that you KNOW if you are pregnant or not before you do anything
2) If you are not pregnant, let him go. If he can't get over the past and he is being cruel to you like this, he is not right for you, and you will find someone who is.
3) If you are pregnant, tell him. It isn't fair to anyone involved for him not to know.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 I think you should tell him. If it is his child, whether he will accept it or not, he needs to know. I also think you should explain to him why you did what you did, why you ended things with your ex boyfriend, ask him to listen until you have explained everything. What's done is done and there is nothing you can do to change it, just assure him that he should still trust you because you knew it was wrong and you ended it because it was wrong and you are not likely to do such a thing again. Ask him to listen and ask that he forgive you if he was offended by the secrecy you felt you needed. Do this if you love him and do this so that your child may have its father. Good luck.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): okay regradless of who you slept with in the past has no bearing on your new realtionship. it clearly wasn't working out for the both of yeas so he using this as an excuse to break it off with yeah and sure he can go off on his own but he does have a right to know he going to be a daddy. now if he doesn't step up to the role or says that it not mine etc thats his problem not yours you did your role
so when your baby older he won't feel you robbed him of a father as he/she no that you told the man.
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