A
female
age
30-35,
*nord
writes:I am definitely attracted to girls and boys but I am just not sure if I'm a lesbian or not! I'm still a virgin but I've kissed both, but have never been in a relationship with either because I'm quite self-conscious at 17! The thing is, the guys that I've made out with I've never been really attracted to... I felt like I had to do it in order to seem normal (not direct peer pressure, but just generalized pressure as it is the socially acceptable thing to do at my age, like "Oh yeah, I hooked up with this guy at the party last night...") I am definitely more picky with guys than girls. Most of my make-out experiences with guys haven't been pleasant, wet and sloppy, while the girls were much better... Do you think perhaps the boys were really just bad kissers, or I didn't enjoy it because I'm maybe lesbian? I'm just not sure if I haven't found the right guy yet or I'm just not into guys at all! For example, I totally love the actor James Franco and would kiss/have sex with/marry him at the drop of a hat! This indicates to me that maybe my standards with men are just a lot higher and that within the smallish community that I live in I just haven't found a guy that I've connected with. I just don't know though! Whenever family members ask "Why don't you have a boyfriend yet/already?" I always say, "I don't know, I just haven't found the right one!" I don't even know myself if that is the truth or if I'm just saying that because I'm lesbian. Sorry this is rambling on a bit,I would appreciate anyone who can muddle through my crazy thoughts and help me organize myself! No wonder my room and backpack are always so messy, even the thoughts in my head need a good clean! XXX Thanks in advance!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): Don't be so quick to label yourself.
You already said that you find both men and women sexually attractive. That is literally the definition of bisexual, if you MUST label yourself.
I say you haven't found the right PERSON yet. Man or woman.
You're still young, why rush? Why feel pressured to BE anything.
It could also be that as a woman, you would know which buttons to push to make another woman feel good in however you need to. Be mindful however, this does not makes us men lesser as not many women are capable of doing the things men are either. Mainly due to are much higher physical strength.
Guys only get to become great lovers through this experimentation. Just as you know how you please yourself through experimentation.
Just find someone you love, both physically and emotionally, and who loves you back the same way. Who you makes you happy. Thats all that really matters. Differences of sex, race, religion, custom, language and dress are trivial if the love and passion is there.
Flynn 24
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