| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: In a couple days I am seeing someone who used to be my bestest friend, until she did something very unforgivable! (Too long to explain what happened). Anyways, I haven't spoken to her since this happened and she seems to think things are okay with us, all because I chose not to make a big deal and get into an argument with her over it. Instead, I didn't say anything because she made it clear she didn't care. So i ignored her and she obviously is aware that i am not happy with her and that i'm annoyed. She has just chosen to ignore it. And after two weeks of what happened, she will be out with everyone (we have the same friends) and i know she will be all nice, sweet and try talking to me like nothing happened. But the thing is, i don't know whether i can act okay when i can't forgive her, i have really tried but i can't. And honestly, i don't want her as a best friend anymore.So what i want to know is, since this is probably the last time i'll see her before i leave for university. Should I just tell her how she made me feel after what happened and that i can't forgive her and don't consider her my best friend anymore? Or is there any point in that, should i just suck it up and not say anything about it?
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male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (2 September 2011):
You should 100% talk to her and tell her how you feel, but not necessarily for the reasons you think you should. Or to be clearer, you aren't sure if there is a good reason to tell her how you feel, and there is.
Telling the people who are closest to us in our lives about our feelings, especially if they are difficult feelings, is one of the most important and sometimes one of the most difficult things to do in life. Our expression of our feelings in these difficult situiations, or our inability to do so, plays a very significant role in the kind of person we are able to be.
When you express your feelings, especially under difficult circumstances, you are being true to yourself. Additionally, it will allow you to communicate and work through problems in all of your relationships. An inability to communicate effectively how we feel about the things that matter to us is at the root of all relationship problems.
In other words, you should do this for yourself, to not have any fear to express who you are and how you feel, to be pleased with who you are in the world. You can't tell what the outcome will be when you tell her how you feel, she might react well or badly, but that is secondary, and you can deal with things as they happen, if you have that ability to communicate how you feel. At any rate, communication is the best thing you can do for your relationship too, so all round it is the best choice.
A
female
reader, cheers  +, writes (1 September 2011):
 Don't contact her as you've more important things to do now. That's regarding university. Don't you agree?
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A
female
reader, Kirstyteenauntireland  +, writes (1 September 2011):
 You and your friend are gonna have to talk eventually. You can't just let a friendship end like this because its cruel and you will always wonder in the future was it worth losing a friend over?. A lot of people make stupid really stupid mistakes and no matter what you have to talk to them about it.
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