A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There is this party store right by my house, and I know for a fact that the woman who runs the counter, her husband has been sleeping with this girl I know. I used to be friends with this girl, but I cut her out of my life as she's been acting really skanky and like a low life. The woman who works at the store is very nice, and attractive, and this girl that I know is total trash. I know for a fact that she has got herpes, and has been sleeping with 5 other guys unprotected at the same time, so I can only assume she has other diseases as well. I am also convinced that she is trying to get pregnant by anyone that she can. She never tells any of the men that she has herpes either. She has a 3 year old daughter too and she often gets up at night and I assume she sees her mom having sex because she lives in a tiny cottage that has no bedrooms. So all she'd have to do is look down the stairs. I am moving soon to another city and I am honestly thinking about giving the woman a letter telling her about what is going on. Do you think I should? I just feel really bad for this woman, she is probably going to get diseases, and this girl that is sleeping with her husband is such a low life, I would not be surprised if she has aids too. I was told by a friend of the girl who's sleeping with that woman's husband, that her husband came over the other day and brought his friend and they all had a 3 some. And he has cheated on his wife with several other women in the past too. I don't know if I should get involved or not. The woman at the store doesn't know me on a personal basis, she's seen me a few times, but she does know who the other girl is, as she goes in that store almost every day to get alcohol. She is an alcoholic too. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): I know i don't I normally don't get involved in others personal relationships, but in a case like this as to where you know for a fact and not assuming that your formal friend has diseases and is sickly, you should tell the woman she should know for her own safety and health.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): OK so I guess that since she's not shown me her herpes and shown me her having sex with 5 guys that she's lying about it all. She told me all of this. I lived with her a year ago, I was once her best friend. She is an alcoholic, she goes to the emergnecy room for dehydration all the time from the alcohol, and she has dropped her daughter off at my house so she could get treatment for her problem. And she was recently thrown into rehab by her mom after her mom found her kid playing in dog poop upstairs & my friend passed out wasted. She would call me and tell me she thinks she's pregnant and that it could be any of 5 guy's kid and that she hopes she is because she thinks it's the only way she will ever staighten out her life. But her 1st kid didn't help her straighten out. She told me her kid gets up all night while she has men over, and I assume she sees them doing it because like I said, she lives in a tiny cottage with no bedrooms and all her kid would have to do is look down the stairs. But I guess I making this all up. Maybe I should o take picures of it all..or maybe you see nothing wrong with her behavior. Do you want her number or something? She is an easy lay.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): I'd still make sure that you get your facts right.
1. Her husband has been sleeping with her. Did you see it?
2. She's sleeping with 5 guys unprotected. How do you know?
3. You ASSUME she has other diseases as well.
4. You're convinced she's trying to get pregnant? Why? What proof?
5. She never tells anyone she has herpes. Have you seen her medical records? How do you know she doesn't?
6. You ASSUME the daughter witnesses her mom having sex.
7. He's cheated on his wife in the past. How do you know? Were you one of them?
8. She buys alcohol daily. So do I. How do you know she's alcoholic? Where's your proof?
Where's the proof of ANY of the above? I still think a lot of it is second or third hand gossip and I'd be very careful before accusing anyone of anything.
I could tell you anything about me - would you take it as gospel?
I suspect you've got an axe to grind here - any truth in that?
Phil
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): I said I KNOW FOR A FACT, yes I know for a fact everything I said is true. Have I seen it, no. But I was once best friends with the girl who is doing this and I have known her & her family for most of my life, 15 yrs. to be exact..so yes I know it is true and it came from her mouth what she has been up to, and that she has herpes & is trying to get pregnant b/c she thinks it'll straighten her out. The only thing that you could consider "gossip" is the 3 way. But her best friend told me about that so I can pretty much gurantee that's true too. She's had herpes for years. And she's talked openly about them with me, and told me last month that she was sleeping with 6 guys. So there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): This situation, as far as I can tell is mostly gossip, but if you're absolutely sure that what you are implying are real FACTS then I'd say she ought to know.
I mean, how do you KNOW she's got herpes and God knows how many other exotic diseases?
All I'd say is that you need to be absolutely certain of your facts before saying or doing anything. In this country there's the law of Slander and if there's an equivalent in the US you might just fall foul of it if your allegations turn out to be untrue, which could cost you very dearly indeed.
Can I assume you don't particularly like this allegedly philandering easily-layable woman?
Phil
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A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 Would you like to know if you were in the same situation? I think your answer is yes. It is a very fragile situation, as we shouldn't really get involved in other people's business, but this poor woman really needs to know that her husband is unfaithful. Seeing that you are moving away, i don't think you will be affected by this? So do the right thing, and Speak up.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, becca78  +, writes (8 November 2007):
I think that if it was just cheating,I'd say to leave it and not get involved - she may be aware of it but not appreciate it been pointed out by someone else. But becuse of the herpes and possible other diseases, she should know so that she can get herself checked out.
One thing that bothers me is you seem extremely irate about this for someone who hardly knows the woman. Do you know all this for definite? Because if it just hearsay it might not all be true and it could be the end of their relationship.
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A
male
reader, Asexy +, writes (8 November 2007):
 You run the risk of being the "messenger" in the "don't kill the messenger" complaint, but I think you would be doing this woman a favor. So yes, you should tell her.
If you can get any proof first, that would be helpful.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (8 November 2007):
 Go for it! She deserves to know, especially since her health may be at stake.
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