A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy (who was single and wished to stay that way, due to a recent break up). Even though he knew he couldn't go out with me he text me loads, called, wanted to see me etc, basically obsessed! This continued for a month or so, then he turned round one day and just didn't seem bothered about seeing me and was just matey with me, totally different from before. Thing is I'd started to fall for him, now I never see him, and now Im just angry and confused!? Why would a guy avoid seeing a girl and behave like this if he supposedly liked them sooo much? I'm really thrown by it! HELP?!
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female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (8 November 2007):
 Perhaps he was lonely and you were a nice diversion for him to get his thoughts off his hurt. He maybe realized that he was going overboard and didn't want to put himself out there again to get hurt. My guess is that he calmed down a bit and felt embarrased by his behavior and is not stepping back a bit. If I were you I would continue to be friendly with him. Show a bit of interest and take it really slow with him. Let him lead you. Along with that, don't tie yourself down with him. Continue to go along as though you are free and single. The man may come around but if he doesn't you haven't sat idle pining for him either. Good luck to you. This is the most challenging part of the relationship.
A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 Hi there.
Sorry about your situation. Not nice.
Rebound - that is what i think. He was on the rebound after his breakup, and then went overboard, not considering your feelings. I think you also need to take a step back, and allow him the space to totally recover from his break-up. If he comes back to you, GREAT, if he doesn't, then find a guy who will appreciate you as a girlfriend, and not just a way to spend his time...
You're worth more than that.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 He's probably young and immature, got caught up in the chase, then went off to chase someone else. This is the type of guy who gives the good guys a bad name. Don't waste another minute on this one. Start looking for someone who's right for you. You'll know it when you find him. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, becca78 +, writes (8 November 2007):
I think that maybe he's talked himself out of it. Have you asked why the change in behaviour? I he was hurt really badly, he's probably terrified of getting hurt again (men sometimes find it hard to admit this!) He may have taken a step back and decided it's not worth it. Now you have to decide if it is. Maybe you'd be better off been friends? But then again maybe it's meant to be more. The only way to find out is by talking to him.
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