A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:i know my wife is havingan affair with a man where she works, should i tell her that i know?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): Hi I feel for you, this is similiar to the the other story I read, I think you should read it as it may give you help and advice it was by James45 on October 28th " My life of devestation caused by an affair" have a read and see if this helps you find an answer to your situation. You can not go day to day with that hanging over you it will destroy your inner soul. I really feel for you. all the best. Jenny x
A
female
reader, Lizz  +, writes (23 November 2008):
 Before you let her know you should decide what the next step will be. Plan it out. If you want to try to make it work or if it's over.You can never plan what her response/reaction will be, though. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): Get some evidence and show her it. Otherwise she will deny it. Start getting clever at covering her tracks and you will have missed your chance. Either way - you need to decide what happens / what you will do if she admits it.
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A
female
reader, Reesey +, writes (23 November 2008):
If you want your marriage to really work you need to bring everything out in the open. Let her know everything and see what she wants. If she wants to make the marriage work. You need to work from that point, what made her want to cheat, was she unhappy. Then learn to forgive and forget and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): It depends how hard it is on you. If you really suffering from this knowledge, sure, tell her. You are not the one responsible for her having an affair, she is, why should you suffer. But if you are not terribly sad about it, see how it goes. Affairs tend to die out by themselves.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): i think you should catch her in the act first and then tel her youknew all along. if u tell her now your relationship will go down the drain.
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A
female
reader, superbunny +, writes (23 November 2008):
 It depends if you intend to stay with her and get on with things. If you can cope with this by yourself and just wait for the affair to die down AND you want to stay with her, it would probably be wise not to say anything that could cause a conflict and push her away.
I'm really sorry to hear about this though, it must be horrible knowing. :( xx
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A
female
reader, wendie dee +, writes (23 November 2008):
 Hi you havn't really said what your relationship is like with your wife, or how long you've been together.
I think it also depends on how you feel about the situation, and how much you love her. I personally would have to tell her i know, talk to her ask her why she's doing it, and if she wants out of the marriage. If none of you do, try counceling but tell her the affair has to stop.
You may find you'll have the problem of trusting he again, that is something that is hard to gain, and so easy to loose. Sit down and talk, before it eats you up.
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A
female
reader, Lavenderlady1954 +, writes (23 November 2008):
If you want to risk that the affair will end your marriage and lead to divorce, then go ahead and confront her. I don't know how many years you have been married, but if it has been for more than 10 years, I would let the affair fizzle out on its own.
If on the other hand you want it to stop, then ask her if she's seeing this man but not with accusations? If she confesses to you that she is seeing a man on the side, then she is likely going to have to end it with him or end it with you.
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