A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A female who fancies me wants to have me and isn't happy in her relationship currently with a man she's with. He's not the best looking but he is a nice guy and really loves her, and I feel sorry for him as he does and she doesn't feel the same way.She has tried it on with me loads, and has tried to kiss me but has failed in her attempts so far. While I'm tempted to fall for temptation. I know it would be very wrong to do this, and I don't want her to have her way with me.Should I tell him what she's like? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (9 June 2016):
 I wouldn't mention anything
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 June 2016):
 There's a simpler solution : avoid her. Give her a wide berth. Stay away from her. Cut her off. Don't talk to her, don't answer her calls or texts.
If she tried loads with you, and even tried to kiss you, it means she had the opportunity to be alone with you, so unless she abducted you, you joined voluntarily in places and occasions where she had the opportunity to make a move on you. Deny her this opportunity.
If this is a work situation where you and her work alone side by side, talk to HR and ask to be be separated and assigned another colleague.
Other than that, if you know she is tempting you and you STILL spend any time with her- it can only be because after all you don't mind being tempted .
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (8 June 2016):
 Sometimes, you just have to keep your mouth shut.... like, when you are riding your motorcycle through a swarm of "love bugs", some evening, in North Caroline.....
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (8 June 2016):
 Sorry to see that you are going through this.
I wouldn't say anything. Here is my reason:
1) You will destroy whatever you have with her (even if you aren't interested). There is nothing worse than a pissed, spiteful and vengeful woman.
2) You may get your ass kicked, especially if her boyfriend thinks you are to blame.
If you aren't interested in her, tell her so or simply avoid her. She'll eventually get the message and move on. If this is work-related, let your supervisor know... workplace harassment shouldn't be tolerated.
Eddie
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (8 June 2016):
 I wouldn't say anything but at the same time I would no longer be around her. If you don't see any future with her, avoid.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 June 2016):
 No, don't tell him. He probably already knows, and is just trying to ignore it. Just walk away and don't fall for her tricks.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2016): No, you should walkaway; because you're tempting her. You are also being a wedge, although unintentionally. She's having problems with her boyfriend, and sees you on the rebound. Whatever she isn't getting from him, you're compensating.
The problem is, even if she broke up with him; you'd have to wait a few months, or longer, until he and she are over each other. You'll only walk into a lot of drama if she suddenly broke-up with him for you. He'll do all he can to win her back, there will be texting back and forth, and she'll be very distracted by her ex. The minute he starts dating another female, she'll want to leave you to get him back.
Walkaway young man. You're only adding to her problems, and he might decide to turn on you assuming you're somehow at fault if they do breakup. You have no right to tell him anything about her. If you think she's a bad girl or not being fair to him; why are you so interested yourself? She'd probably do the same thing to you.
If you do anything to sabotage their relationship, watch-out for the karma! Let it end on it's own, and stay out of the way; because the last thing you need is a girlfriend on the rebound. Her feelings will change for you, and you'll end-up with a broken heart. People need healing and recovery time after a breakup. They can't start a new relationship right after they breakup with someone.
You'll both be miserable.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2016): It's your call.Nobody can make that for you.I do not think there is a right or wrong answer here.Whatever you decide, you will have your reasons. Just make sure you think it all out and can live with your decision without regrets.Her behaviour is disgusting, no doubt about that. You would be doing her boyfriend a favour, no doubt about that, either.On the other hand, you can just totally blank her. Ignore her. Like she does not exist. Do not feed her ego and her need for attention and validation. Just cut her off. And if she keeps at you (likely she will because she won't understand why every guy she knows won't bow to her like the Goddess she THINKS she is) then perhaps you can tell her that you will politely inform her boyfriend of her antics if she doesn't leave you alone.Sorry if it sounds harsh but people like this need to be taught some lessons in life. They are completely oblivious because they are so self centered and obsessed with themselves that they do not see how others are affected by their actions. And if they do see this, perhaps next time they might stop and think before doing it again. That is the way I see it.Let me end by saying this. I commend you for your actions. You are a wise and noble young man. Very different from the rest. Not many people are able to do the right thing much less know what the right thing is. Good for you. You would be a keeper for a lucky and worthy girl. Definitely NOT THIS GIRL!!!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (7 June 2016):
 I would.
Just to add a friendly counter viewpoint. Infidelity is a social disease. The only cure is to flood it with the bright sunshine of exposure.
Keeping the truth from her official boyfriend is not doing him any favors. He deserves the right to make his own choice as to whether or not he wants to stay with someone who treats him like that.
I agree with everything Honey has written. Especially about the value of this girl, and I think you agree as well. I would just like to add something else you already seem to know. If she will cheat on him to get you, she will certainly cheat on you for the next guy.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (7 June 2016):
 She can't have her way with you unless you ALLOW her to do so. Feel sorry for the guy, he deserves better but I'd stay out of it and I'd most certainly stay away from her. She sounds needy and just seeking some extra attention wherever she can get it. To get involved with someone like her is just asking for trouble.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2016): If a man resisted sleeping with your girlfriend and didnt know whether to tell you or no, would you want to know? Think of all the free affection she gets from him she doesnt reciprocate. Is it fair to him?
Girls have each others back for this sort of thing, men should too.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (7 June 2016):
 Step-by-step guide to doing the right thing (in this situation):
1 - Tell her it's not going to happen and you will ignore her completely, if she doesn't stop.
2 - Stick to number one, but don't tell him unless he asks (don't lie).
3 - Avoid the temptation by avoiding her. She's a drama explosion waiting to happen and she's definitely not worth it.
You're on the right track with not wanting to give in.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 June 2016):
 I wouldn't.
And I would tell her to quit it once and for all. Maybe even suggest that if she isn't happy with her BF she should stop stringing him along.
I would want nothing to do with this girl. So yes, I would stop giving her attention and I would ignore her.
She sounds like an attention seeking kind of girl, and just because she is chasing you... doesn't mean she CARES about you. Maybe she just wants YOU as her notch in the bedpost.
Set your sights a bit higher when it comes to girls. :)
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