A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Please help! I been with my mate for goin on 6 years and everything has always been ok. to my knowledge he had never cheated on thats what i believe. and we have had some rocky times in our relationship where he may have slipped up and or I slipped up but no one had cheated (sexual intercourse,or outside romantic relationships etc).. But lately i come to believe that Im not happy because we been sexually active for 3 years and when we make love its ok. We both lost our virginity to each other and this is our first "Serious relationship). But i have been crushing hard on guys lately, especially the ones who show me genuine attention. I started to believe im lacking something in my relationship, or missing out on something. Its painful to discuss that i feel that way cause i love him to death i known him since i was 15 now im 23. I spoke with him somewhat about these feelings and we are contemplating taking a break. i dont know how a break work or how it should work but im very confused. This whole situation hit real hard when he told me he would be joining the military next year to get through school. We only see each other once a week maybe twice on lucky weeks because of our busy schedules. im the type that needs affection im not sure how it would be to go months without him. Then there is this guy @ work that is showing interest and im liking it too. i feel wrong at times and at sometimes i feel right for eanting a break and exploring my options. Someone Please give me some advice on what to do! Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to take the time to everyone and say thanks for the advice i really took everything into consideration. I discussed it with my mate and i said we'll take one week to decide what to do. and at the end of that week i decided not to. but he said he wanted to. so now we are on this break. and its day 2! it feel like hell like its been 4ever and nobody even matters anymore, i just have sore eyes from cryin off and on. i cant even focus in school. is this normal? i keep thinking i hope this break is really a break and not a break up. i feel lost!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009): Just a word of advice about what usually happens when the girl initiates one of these breaks.
If this is only a temporary break and you're back together later, but meanwhile you go out and screw someone else and he doesn't, this WILL NOT BE PRETTY when the truth starts coming out.
When you walk away, you both should be VERY CLEAR AND IN AGREEMENT on how quickly you each plan to dive back into the dating pool. And if sexual activity with other people is okay or not.
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A
male
reader, 01charlie01 +, writes (11 October 2009):
the key to a successful relationship isnt finding the right person, its learning to love the person you found! I read that earlier today and it seemed to stick out when I read your story! I dont believe a break is good, it allows for someone else to possibly catch your partners eye, it will cause pain and alot of trust issues, do you really want to think about him sleeping with someone else? I am positive he doesnt either!!! A break causes pain for both, you may feel excitement now but it will wear off, just as it did for the guy you have now~ stay put and work hard to make it work!
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A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (11 October 2009):
 Ok so it does sound like a break is needed, however, that could really effect your relationship if and when you decide to get back together! Even though you love him theres also a large possibilty your just not in love with him! If i were you i would explore the options because it sounds like both of you would like and are in need of a break! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, ellie:) +, writes (11 October 2009):
 well we cant tell u wat to do! but wat we think is right to do..... if u want a break from da relashionship tell him dat and see wat he thinks a break means. and u and him should think about wat u guys could or could not do cause in every relashionship a break means differnt things..... it could mean break up or it could mean putting the relashionship on hold for a littel while.... and its ok to want a break a girl and a boy have needs ,want to explore different things and its completly understandable... anyone who doesnt understand it doesnt have a clue wat life is about!
GOOD LUCK :)
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