A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:dear users and thanks in advance,i've been with this wonderful lady for nearly 14months. we are both 20 and at university in the same course. we have a non-platonic relationship i.e. a sexual affectionate relationship however we do not consider our status as boyfriend and girlfriend,,but its not a fling either.last summer 08, i did something bad, where i never turned up to her friends birthday, due to my phone playin up, and she got drunk and upset and her night was ruined coz of me. i was upset and took full responsibility, and a day or two later everything was back to normal and sun was shining.we never saw each other durin xmas holidays and i thought i'd let her revise without me havin to disturb her, even though i had told her to meet up once or twice but tht never happened as she was busy etc.after the exams, she said she didnt want our "thing" to continue due to the fact that what i did in the summer, even tho we got over that. for this reason, i think shes cheated on me, although i haven't accused her of it, and never will. and in affect, i'm severly devastated,. i had the most wonderful time of my life with this lovely lady. such a beautiful lady too. shes made me laugh like never before, love like never before, shes everything.i've told her many times to reconsider, and she doesnt want to. obviously i dont want to be selfish and keep her all to myself, but the one thing i dont understand is why she wants to tear apart now.plz any suggestions ppl? i'm thinking of singing to her, or make a book and stick all the things we done together, like cinema tickets, photos, etc..or maybe i should stop weeping and be a man.?
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female
reader, michele21  +, writes (8 February 2009):
 well you said in the beginning you werent together together not boyfriend and girlfriend you just kinda had a "Thing" whatever that means.....so technically she couldn't have cheated beause she wasn't completely yours right?? i mean i think if you really have true feelings for her do the whole puttin the book together thing and give it too her that will really show her you care about her and all the things you guys did together i would think anyways....it shows you actually care....or if you think its not going to go anywhere and she is serious i probably wouldn't persue it so you don't get hurt more than you already are hurt....good luck
A
male
reader, Tomas +, writes (8 February 2009):
Once she says she doesn't want to date anymore, respecting her wishes and leaving her along is your least bad option. Anything more looks needy and unattractive, if not worrisome or dangerous.It's fine to tell her that you didn't cheat, that you still want a relationship. Once or twice. Maybe later she'll realize that she liked what you had, and want to try for it again (or for something more). But if you are weepy or stalker-y or disrepectful, forget it. Imagine yourself as someone who has a rich, full life that you'd like to share with someone you care about, whether her or someone else ... and act accordingly.
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